My father lives with his wife 82 yrs old (married 1.5 years) and has left the house for a walk without the spouse; he has begun to drink fluids such as (salad dressings, laundry detergent) and spit them out(due to taste) because they are visible. do we move him closer to fami
she is much less active than he is. He was used to exercising on a daily basis and he is leaving the house without his wife's knowledge going for long walks and then possibly forgetting where he is. His vision is poor but judgement is poorer (ie drinking fluids left out) he remarried about 1.5 years ago and perhaps we should have suggested otherwise. She owns the home they are in and she can live without support. they do have meals on wheels to assist them. if he is to go into a nursing home we (family would like to have him live more central to his children) I do not know if we have a leg to stand on. we will be having this conversation with his wife (who was a long time family friend) but wondering if we as the immediate family have any options.
Please, please keep in mind that his wife is the person he SELECTED
to spend the rest of his life with, in sickness and in health, for better and for worse. This was more than a year ago, but it sounds like she has been a part of the picture, as a friend of the family, for much longer than that. You haven't said anything to indicate that she is a gold-digger or has ulterior motives. Presumably they love each other and saw/see mutual benefit in entering into a formal, legal relationship. You know that part in a traditional (Christian) wedding ceremony that pronounces the union and says "let no man put asunder"? That means no adult child should put it asunder, either. I urge you to be really, really cautious about moving him closer to his children if that means you are moving him farther from his wife.
If both he and his wife need help, then getting it provided in their mutual home makes a lot of sense to me. If they had an aide who could make sure the salad dressing got put away in the far reaches of the fridge and the orange juice and V8 juice were in the front, and liquid detergent was never in plain sight, that might prevent a lot of problems. And an aide to take a walk with -- with or without wfie accompanying -- and to encourage simple exercise could help out without anyone moving out of their home.
Or perhaps helping them locate an assisted living facility where they can continue to live together would solve a lot of issues. If this seems like the direction to take, I hope you can work with the children of your father's wife.
Definitely, some medical assessments are in order. Then some appropriate steps should be taken to help compensate for the impairments identified. Breaking up a marriage to provide this help seems to me like an extremely drastic last resort.
Good luck ... and come back and tell us how things progress for all of you.