he is not alone -my mom lives with him and is 11 yrs. younger so she is "on the ball". I feel so bad making excuses and of course having to repeat and repeat them. I work so don't want to sleep there with all the drama of the "nightly break ins".....I will be a wreck by the time i have to go to work! SUGGESTIONS?
She is also on target about the toll this could take on your mother. I went through this for a few months with my husband. A zombie taking care of a demented zombie is not a pleasant sight, nor is it safe. If we couldn't have solved that, I could not have kept my husband at home with me. But his doctor did find a drug that helped. He is still at home going on 9 years later, and he is still on that med.
Delusions are very difficult to control, but don't give up hope. As wuvsicecream says, use your energy to pursue solutions. While that is going on, if you or other relatives could spell your mother once in a while so no one has to lose sleep everynight, that would be awesome -- not as a permanent solution, but while other options are being pursued. I can't tell you how life-saving it was to be able to sleep in the guest room once in a while, while my brother or another family member kept an eye on my husband.
So I guess I'm validating wuvsicecream's suggestions, from difficult personal experience.
You should have a log or journal....one for behavior and one for expenses.
LOG for behavior because not every person reacts to medication the same way. The meds might cause under eating or overeating. Sleeplessness or insomnia, depression or hyperactivity . The meds should not create abnormal behavior they should balance a person to a stable behavior not sedate a person beyond otherwise capable functions. The log will help reflect on behaviors and how meds and daily interactions or activities are effected. It takes a while for these meds to make a change, so if taken as prescribed and you see abnormal behavior increase not decrease you have something to relay to Dr's and this helps with med adjustments. Dr's appointments, care duties, and daily routines recorded as well. Remember that Dr's cannot know what happens daily unless a person can explain this to them and a person with any type of dementia can not relay a clear picture. Slight changes are important too.
LOG for finances helps you in many ways. If any money is in question of where it got spent you have it written. A paper trail is best, such as direct deposits and checks for solid proof. You can also figure out how much it will cost for future expenses.
You should also start a file of originals and copies of birth certificates, S.S. cards, marriage, divorce papers, vet papers, bank accounts etc. These things are needed in some situations and it's better to be prepared, you don't want to get into a situation where you are not and have alot on your plate and can't focus and have to do all that. I hope I didn't over whelm anyone but this is what I have learned from experience. One day at a time is all you can do.