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My 93 year old mother has been in assisted living for almost a year. She does nothing all day, except complain about being constipated. I have had her to her Dr. several times, and he always checks her out and says that there is no medical problems causing it, she is just very sedentary and needs more fiber. She will not listen to what anyone tells her and gets angry if I won't take her to the Dr./emergency room because she has not had a bowel movement in a couple of days.

How do I deal with this? I find myself hating to call or visit, because I know that all we will talk about is her constipation and that she thinks she will die from it.

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My mother was absolutely convinced that her doctor had the "magic pill" that would cure her constipation. I prefer natural remedies so I told her repeatedly that it was more of an everyday, preventative, kinda thing that she had to do. But no, she kept going back to the doctor and calling nurse help lines. Of course they are pill oriented and gave her either prescriptions or OTC remedies that worked for a short time then the problem returned - or worse yet, she used harsh enemas. She even had a prolapse from forcing...that still did not stop her.
After YEARS of trying to convince her she finally gave my suggestions a try. I bought her flax seed flour (she cannot swallow the seed) to put in her yogurt, muffins, soups, oatmeal, etc. Also, a teaspoon of olive oil first thing in the morning works as needed. I buy her high fiber breads, crackers, granola, etc. Coconut milk is a laxative too. She has not had problems since. I told her that I would, "send her my bill." :o)
The thing is, it that it is a lifestyle change so I do not know what to tell you to get your mother to cooperate. Sometimes, when Mom is feeling well, she decides that she does not need to do it anymore...then the constipation returns...so now, I think I have her convinced.
Constant constipation is just so bad for you. You build up toxins in your body so no wonder your mother is feeling cranky and uncomfortable.

good luck
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Mom is OBSESSED with BMS! Hospice states that 5 days of no BM is when they try and do something. The way the nurse explained it to me and mom is that she is sedentary, on a few meds with constipation as a side effect, and that she needs to eat better. We tried prunes, prune juice, wheat germ, more fruit, more greens....Dr. prescribed senna and that has helped. For almost 2 years we've done the BM dance. I finally decided to try the Danactive yogurt challenge. It works. Both me and mom first thing in the morning, we have coffee and a danactive. With in about 1 hour she has a BM. It took about a week and a half to start working, and if we forget one, we notice it the next day. I can't guarantee it will work for anyone else, but it works for us. Happy BMs everyone
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I am so glad to know that my mom is not the only one obsessed with this. They can worry you to no end! I now give my mom a stool softener every evening (the doctor said she could take 2 per day, if needed and Milk of Magnesia every 3rd day). This has solved her problem and for that, we are greatful.
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I really like Lilliput's ideas and am going to use some of that. Thanks Lilliput!

my mom won't move enough so I give her a stool softener once in a blue moon and it works well.

We also do fresh carrot juice, yogurt and lots of greens.

Our goal is for mom to drop a deuce at least once a day.

We know that it's working when mom stands up and sounds like a stuttering motorboat on her way to the head.

good luck

Bobbie
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Miralax works well and is over the counter now... It is an osmotic and it helps to move things through... I would try that!!! Oatmeal always works for me or a little applesauce is good too..
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My mother and mother-in-law have obsessed with this for years. My mother-in-law took everything/ she could to help but nothing did the trick. My mother on the other hand takes Miralax every morning in her coffee and it works for her. When she was in the hospital, it wasn't available so they tried Milk of Magnesia, drinking hot liquids, prune juice, apple juice etc. until I finally brought my mother's Miralax bottle in from home. My mother added it to her coffee in the morning and within a day or two it started working again.
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Maybe she needs something to relax her so she does not absess over this but if she won't follow the docs instructions she may enjoy haveing a problem that she is able to talk nonstop about, Maybe the only thing you can do is limit your time with her or just say that subject is not to be brought up,
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Marty,

My MIL is on Miralax (it can be written as an RX by the doctor--she has the generic--polyethelene glycol). All I would do, when she was here before the NH, was mix it in with some water, applesauce (it is sweet tasting, so I got the no sugar added applesauce). She would take it. Within 15 min.-1/2 hr. she would have a BM. We had her on coconut milk (but since that does the same thing as Miralax, she didn't get the Miralax). The coconut milk will cause some weight gain. After a while, we noticed her acting not like herself--aside from the anti-epileptic meds that caused combativeness--but after a while we discontinued the coconut milk due to it interacting with some of the meds she was on at the time. You can get coconut milk in a
'Crisco-like' form at Wal-Mart. You can even cook with it. I would make her grilled cheese sandwiches and wouldn't have to use 'non-cooking spray' with it. Very rarely, would we have to give her MOM (Milk of Magnesia). Yeah, some of her meds did have the side effect of constipation. You have to watch her diet too. She shouldn't have any lite yogurt or diet drinks (not good for people her age). Actually, it's not good for anyone. Anyhow, as I was saying, watch her diet--if someone takes her out, find out what she had for a meal and to drink. Reason being, that can either cause constipation or Mt. Vesouvious.
One night, I served Spaghetti and Meat sauce, she had never pooped outside of the bathroom--my husband left her alone for 10 minutes and when he went back downstairs to see how she was coming along with her meal, he found her rolling a 'meatball' in her hand. You talk about panic-stricken and gross. From then on, someone always ate downstairs with her.
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Also, coffee helps my bowels move. Maybe it would help her.
Good luck!
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I just had another thought! My SIL would give her Fiber One cereal on top of giving her Miralax. After I learned that, I cut the Miralax doseages down to 3/4 x/wk. because it would cause Mt. Vesouvious to erupt. She didn't have that happening to her too much, because she gave it to her hours before she went home.
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