It has been 3 years since my elderly mother let me wash her hair, she keeps it pinned up and it stinks and her head has cacked up oil and debre. She also refuses help with bathing. I'm afraid she will get an infection of the scalp. what can i do, wh do I turn to for help. My mother is very stubborn. What if she gets real sick? Will me and my sister be liable even if we have tried to care for her? what can we do?
She is in a nursing home now but she still won't let anyone but me mess with her hair or cut her nails. I use that dry shampoo spray and that is wonderful. She will wash it before I cut it and I do that about every 4-6 weeks. It is very short but is beautiful. She doesn't have to set it. It just goes perfect. The nurses run a comb through it in the morning and she is set.
It never did me any good to try to force her to do anything...I had to deal with the situation like I was convincing a 4 0r 5 year old child to do something that she didn't want to do. But the one thing that she always wanted to do more was visit with my family.
Find the thing that you can use as the carrot. I wouldn't try to get all of that cleaned up in one session. In fact if you use the olive oil or tea tree oil, let it sit for a night so it can penetrate. You may want to check with her doctor to get some type of med that will make this less traumatic. Also he or she can check and make sure that she doesn't have a type of psoriasis or something that may actually hurt if you go in there trying to clean things up. The tea tree oil is a natural antiseptic.
I hope this helps...this is the most difficult thing I have ever had to handle in my life. My mother in law was always perfect. She was a size 8, always dressed to the T, beautiful house and nothing ever out of place. And now , her kids don't come around because they don't know how to handle it. She always tells everyone that she couldn't have had a better daughter. (She only has boys so she adopted me.) I guess this is the place I am to be because God doesn't make mistakes. God Bless!
You wil have to address this gradually as it has been sooooo long, but it MUST be done. You could be charged with neglect.
Be gentle, the skin could become raw and get infected as you fear. Try baby shampoo? and don't forget the conditioner or you won't be able to brush it afterward.
I wish you the best.
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