My grandmother has been hospitalized for the last couple of weeks due to a complication from surgery and has been in and out of the ICU. The doctors and nurses seem to believe that she will recover if she'd start eating and doing her physical therapy. She is pretty good about the physical therapy, but refuses to eat. She simply tells us she just can't. My entire family has tried to convince her to hold on and start eating again. She is as stubborn as they come. We're afraid that she is giving up. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get her to begin eating again and encourage to hold on and fight?
You think that she is giving up. But that doesn't seem consistent with her willingness to do the physical therapy. Do you think you could probe a little about why she "just can't"? Does she have swallowing problems? Nausea? Does the food smell or taste awful? Does she say she just wants to stop fighting for health and give in?
I had a period when I "just couldn't" eat. My doctor was sure it was the anxiety of having my husband diagnosed with dementia. I assure you that I had not in any sense given up. And I did force myself to eat some high nutrient foods. It made me gag to do so, but I knew I needed strength. As it turned out, it wasn't anxiety that needed treatment -- I had undiagnosed diabetes! I'm not suggesting that is your GM's problem, but just pointing out that not being able to eat isn't always related to "giving up."
Has anyone had a frank discussion with her about her attitude toward getting well? Does she believe the doctor's assurances that she can get well? Have they discussed with her what her life will be like when she is well? Will she have any limitations? Will she return to her former baseline? If these things haven't been discussed, she may be imagining things to be worse than they are.
Bless you for trying to help her, langed2. Please come back and tell us how this is working out.
She needs the human touch. Someone to have time to listen and talk with, search out old movies and books to enjoy,her favourite food brought from home, grandchildren who are happy to see her and if she is depressed these things should be the first things to try. She has already become institutionalised and she doesn't need to be completely 'caged' by the system.
Let her get out and enjoy some good weather but most of all respect her wishes. All she really needs is daily washes and sustenance.
u could get nutrients tubes and put it in her body to keep her alive. but then again 89 is a old age maybe shes just tired of living and doesnt want to keep going.