Evil aunt.

Update..
Alot has happened since writing this post. I will be homeless but I'm leaving and so excited cause I won't be here anymore. On weds she called animal control on me and a dog she said she wanted and said I was abusing animals and long story short I ended up having to give the dog over to them. In that process due to the tension they went ahead and call and have the police to come out. We'll they came out and took report of her pulling knife on me and then she goes tells them she's scared for her life and then they think it's a joke. When my boyfriend pulls up they arrest him cause she said that he stole from her and she had went and got a warrant. I was all freaking out. Well I get him out and she was yelling and saying she's ready to break and no telling what she's going to do and she wants us out. So after the day I had I was scared cause no telling what she will do at this point she was drunk and her new medication has made her start hearing and seeing stuff that's not there. So I call 988 boy that was a big mistake, I mean big mistake cause they did nothing but laugh at me. Cause they call and wanted to have back up cause there was guns in the house and her husband that has dementia sleeps with his 2 hand guns no telling what will happen cause he gets mad and goes shoots off the porch in the air. The cops ask to speak to me and I have never been treated so mean and talked down to as if my safety meant nothing to them. They laughed at me cause they said how can you be scared of a old woman that barley walk down the steps. And I showed a video of her throwing things at me and for him to yell at me and say if I even think about going and pressing a fake charge on her I will purposely charge you with it. And said I have nothing else to say and left. I understand why ppl are not asking for help and getting killed cause our call for help sources don't help. I will die before ever calling for help again. It has made me feel different about law enforcement and will never trust they have our best interests at hand. But I have a tent and I'm gone from here and never looking back. God will take care of me.

Why did you move in?

"I like helping people and enjoy cleaning and making things easy for them".

OK. But is this a PAID job? Or do you work elsewhere? Did you need accomodation? Why not help but live elsewhere?

Is this a Care for House arrangement? ie Be the Caregiver now on a promise of 'get-the-house' in the will? Or, even worse, just on expectation?

The first thing you should have done was call the cops and tell them she has threatened your life and please come over to escort u out of the house. Then you have them call APS and tell them there are two elderly people who need help now. That the female has threatened her caretaker with a knife. The police maybe able to help u get a hotel room for the night. If you have no money, you go to Social Services and tell them your story and they may help with a housing voucher. They can confirm it with the police. You need the police so u have a record of her violence.

Start packing now so you can walk out of the house with everything you own. If you can't, do not return to that house without a police escort. I really hope they Baker act your Aunt. This means a 72 hr evaluation in a Psychiatric facility. You can now see why her own children refused to care for her. For no reason would I take this on again. Both can become Wards of the State and your caregiving will be over. Good time to get ur life back.

Promises to a dead person mean nothing. Any caregiving promises mean nothing, really.

Move out. This person needs to be in an asylum.

Get out while you still can. I know you want to honor your mom's wishes, but forgive me for being blunt - she's no longer here to hold you accountable. If your aunt is in her right mind, although I would argue otherwise, then getting out is in your best interest.

the thing is, since it's her home, she really does have every right to ask a "guest" (you) to move out. she decides who she wants living with her.

SLUNSFORD21,

I have read the unanimous answers to your question. I had advised you to give 2 week notice and leave. Others are, however, correct, and I was wrong. You should leave at once.
I hope that you will reassure us that you have done so, as many here will worry for you until you are safely away.

dear OP,

you said you don't depend on her for anything. you would rather burn in hell than ask for a glass of water from her.

is it possible you do depend on her, for example it's her home - i don't think you're paying her rent while you live there? for example, for sure you use the water from the shower, for sure you don't pay for water, electricity...are you paying the water bill? i don't think so.

for sure, you weren't able to have a job AND help her? there's usually no time for both, if she needs a lot of help. so you haven't been earning money for a while.

no one can live on saved money forever.

maybe you're financially dependent in some ways, without realizing it?

Leave! Let her kids know that you are sorry, but you can't handle it anymore. Before you go you might want to tell APS or have her kids do so so you don't get accused of abandonment.

She is not in her right mind. This may be due to dementia. She could be having delusions that you are "after her" or out to steal her money whatever. She may also be having hallucinations. She needs to be seen by a geriatrician or geriatric psychiatrist. With a tiny bit of medication this might improve, or she may now need LTC. Good luck

Pack up your stuff and go, live in a woman's shelter if necessary to get on your feet again.

Look for a job so you can become independent and regain your life.

You are not obligated to care for these two, let the chips fall where they may.

You have been mistreated your entire life. What you said about liking to help people resonated with me because my niece who is only 8 years old was groomed by my child abuser MIL to be "helpful" they way you are. It's a cycle of abuse that leads to the road you are on in adulthood. We were able to get her away from MIL but her mother is not that much better.

It's great to want to help family but when they are this abusive and you continue to stay then you have to look at yourself and evaluate why you think it's OK to be treated this way and not take steps to leave.

Where is your aunt's husband in all of this?

Please keep us updated. You've read the unanimous advice here - GET OUT.
What are you going to do?

Leave. Now.

Obviously leave. Get to safety.

Then get your stuff out (when safe to so so) to leave permanently.

"She is trying to have me evicted".

Did your Aunt or Uncle ASK you to move in? (I missed that if you said so).

i think unfortunately, you're financially dependent on her, that's why you're staying. you have no job, no home of your own, no money? this is why you continue to live with her, even though she threatens to kill you?

i'm sure you're aware, you need to protect your safety...find a way to be financially independent...leave.

Your aunt threatens to kill you in your sleep, and you have to ask what you should do? I have to question if YOU are in your right mind.

LEAVE!!!

Leave now. There are resources to help you find somewhere else to live. Never come back, never speak to your aunt and celebrate the fact you are not responsible for her care.

If you are staying because you made a promise, recognize that the situation has changed and you never promised to look after someone who is violent, destroying your mental health and could injure or even kill you.

You don't need to help in any way, find other support for her or help her financially, you need to just walk away and start living your life.

GET OUT OF THERE. NOW.

I don't think the promise you made to your mother covers staying with a psychotic aunt who may indeed kill you.

Leave!!. Go somewhere safe. Or call 911 and tell them she tried to stab you and you've been threatened and you've locked yourself in the bedroom to stay alive. Forget the promise as I'm sure you mother doesn't want you to give up your life on a deathbed promise. Now would she?

Where is her husband? He should be the one with responsibility for this seriously ill person.

She is not in her right mind. She appears to be homicidal and has threatened you.

Get out. Now. And if she ever threatens you again in any way, lock yourself in your room and call the police. File a report.

I really am amazed how many family members don’t recognize such incidents as mental health issues. Or if they do, how many continue to subject themselves to such scary situations.

Slunsford, what is happening to her isn’t your fault. Please take care of yourself.

You know what concerns me more than anything, is the fact that you think your aunt is "still in her right mind." I personally don't know anyone in their right mind that would try and stab anyone.
Your aunt obviously is showing signs of dementia and not surprising after all those strokes and TIA's. She now needs more help than you can provide and for your own safety's sake you must leave her home, and let her children/husband worry about her care.
Surely you don't want to continue living there right?

Run, Forest, Run!

Sorry for being facetious but, running away from your demented aunt would be all I could even think of.

Knife? Threats? Okay, it’s time to get the hell out of there! At this point, it’s called survival and she can fend for herself.

What do you do?? Whatever "promise" you had given your mother previously, it is NOW NULL AND VOID - your own life is unsafe and in jeopardy living with your aunt. You need to leave immediately - others on this post have provided suggestions on where.

DO NOT stay there any longer. You can email/notify her kids that you are no longer there. Best of luck to you.

She's "still in her right mind" but "busted in my room and had a hugh knife and tried to stab me".........."She even told me that she would kill me in my sleep that I better not go to sleep."

My question to you is: what is your definition of "right mind"?

People in their Right Minds don't threaten others with huge knives or to kill loved ones while they sleep.

Add lots of booze into the Loss of Right Mind scenario and, there you have it. Chaos and bedlam with a bit of insanity thrown in. Or dementia, or the aftermath of strokes and lots and lots of TIAs.

But you already know that, you'd have to.

Good luck to you.

You move out.

As to promises made to mom, I doubt she would expect you to stay to be slain in your sleep, do you?

Give your Aunt a two week notice that you are leaving and then do so before you are evicted.

Move out. It doesnt matter what you promised mom.

Why on earth have you stayed?! This woman has proved loud and clear that you aren’t safe there! And no, she is not in her “right mind” Please leave, no explanation necessary, she’s shown you clearly that you shouldn’t be there, not even one more night. Go to a hotel, a relative, a shelter, whatever is safe, and forget some misguided promise you once made when you couldn’t have possibly known how things would become. Please take care of yourself