As I mentioned about my mother that had taken a bad fall and the trip to the ER, Things took a turn for the worse the next day. Her breathing was not good, she was very short of breath and her pain was unbearable... So, I had to call for ambulance to transport her back to the hospital. With her conditions, she was admitted for four days. We are back home now. Things are much worse with caring for her. She has slipped away dramatically! My own health has become much worse... I was on my way home from after being with her in the hospital, being very exhausted, I blacked out under the wheel and went into a seizure like state, with uncontrolable shaking and then passed out. My car landed up against the guardrail from the side of the road... paramedics had arrived, and I was taken to the ER... being exhausted and stressed to the max had taken its toll on me! I feel I can't go on another day! I'm so scared and worried about my mother and with my own health issues it isn't safe for neither of us at this point. I now have decided to look into nursing home facilities for her safety and care, and the guilt is already starting to set in before I even get started, but I know this is the best thing i can do for her now.
You know, I am reminded of a sermon I heard once where the pastor was talking about the commandment to "honor thy father and mother." She told us to remember that HONORING our parents does NOT mean sacrificing ourselves for our parents. It means that we have a responsibility to make sure they are OK. To make sure they are getting the care they need. It does NOT mean that WE have to be the ones providing that care, especially at the cost of our own health and well-being.
Do you understand that you are not handling this for YOUR survival?
You need to step back from survival mode, RELAX and REGROUP.
You can and must do that. Obviously, you are reaching out for help and advice. Please let the hospital take care of her and stay away for a couple of days. Running yourself into the ground is counter-productive and of no help to either of you. Be healthy, dear one:) xo
My caregiving didn't end until my dad died 6 weeks ago. He was in the NH for 7 months but I was always his caregiver.
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