Family and friends back off after putting mom in the nursing home. How do you deal with it all?

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Family and friends back off after putting mom in the nursing home. How do you deal with it all?

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I don't know where to begin. You'd think that I'd be happy, but no, I'm at a loss for words.... I came to the conclusion that mom needs to stay in the nursing home. Well, people in the family, family friends, people I've known my whole life, telling me that if you ever needed anything to give them a call. Well after mom went back into the nursing home, I started to reach out to people in the family, family friends. At first they sounded concerned but after the first phone call, slowly, they all backed away from me . The very people telling me and mom, " if you ever need anything, to give us a call." Like really?

Seems like the only people that seem concerned about mom and me, are at the nursing home. Told high school friends, well now that everything is getting finalized, they're looking at me going, "why are you so upset, your mom gets the care she needs, you get what you want." Like really??? I took care of mom for 7-10 years, lived with her my whole life, that's all I know, is me and mom. I know it sounds pathetic, but its just a lot to take in and handle for one person...

Yes I'm glad that mom is safe, but I feel all alone in all this, in how to handle all this crap, I've never been on my own before. Pathetic... since I'm 27. With all the family drama from years ago, money, crap, mom leaving everything to me, her telling everyone in the family years ago, now, guess what, looking back, that basically causes almost all of them to not want to help me. I never thought I'd have to put mom in a nursing home. I feel so guilty, horrible. I know I tried my best to care for mom all by myself. It's just alot. Then at the nursing home, getting everything finalized, they're all looking at me, going, "you can make it without your mom... " ect. Really??? It's going to take me a while to adjust to life without her, without taking care of her 24/7, that's all I know. It's almost like no one gives you time to really process it all, of what's happening. Like you have to step back, and give yourself time to process it all. I'm realizing how alone I really am now. I feel like I can't trust anyone. Some friends telling me to take her home, others saying to leave her in there, others making the comment, "well she's your mom." What does her being my mom have to do with it? The fact is, I physically, emotionally, mentally can't take care of mom all on my own, 24/7 anymore... I'm just in shock! People that I thought would be there for me or mom, are disappearing faster then I could ever imagine. Yes I know I'm 27, an adult, but I don't know hardly anyone my AGE that is going through any of this! I feel lost! I never prayed to GOD, but lately I feel like I don't have a choice. If there's anyone that has gone through putting there loved one in a nursing home, how do you cope, grieve, how do you deal with it all... ? Thanks for listening...

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Hello I work in a nursing home I see a lot of the residents get abandoned when at first the family and friends were there and now little by little the visits dwendel tell you don't see no one coming to see them. It's so sad because thay ask me when is my family taking me home? All I can say is maybe tomorrow they will be here to see you.as far as depending on your family and friends don't the sooner you know that the better you are.it always seem like when you need help the most no one's ever around.now you said you feel guilty about putting your mom in a nursing home.Don't you need to do you for a change.what I mean by that is find yourself know what you like to do for fun maybe you could get some new friends maybe go back to school get a career.what ever you want to do you can. But if you really feel like you can't get use to the idea of you not having your mom at home with you have you ever thought about getting in home health care someone to help you with mom so you can have a life outside of just taking care of mom.I don't know if what I have told you will help I wish you all the best in what ever you decide to do. if you need someone to talk to about this you should find out what options are available for you like a social worker is a good idea or what ever you decide my prayers are with you and your mom.

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I think that after what she's been through and being 27 that she deserves to have a life with more freedom than she's ever had in her entire life.

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Dear Miku, this may not be you at all, but perhaps could be something to think about. When someone is overwhelmed by problems, that is what they usually talk about. “A problem shared is a problem doubled” is all too often true. You can tell us all on this site, but if you tell people who haven’t been involved in the problem, the result is to make them unhappy and uncomfortable. They don’t want more of that, and they can’t see how to make you ‘get over’ such a miserable situation, so they back off.

If this rings any bells with you, there are a couple of suggestions. First, join something completely different, and don’t talk to the people there about where you are coming from. Make it something new to think about. Second, find again the people who you miss, and talk to them about the new things you are doing, not about the problems. Get their help to change, not to sympathise.

This takes a lot of energy, which you may not have right now. But you do want things to get better. And a small bonus is that it will give you some cheerful things to talk to your mother about when you visit.

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I'll withdraw my question.

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you asking me?

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I was a caretaker four times (parents, husband and a friend) all while working full time and it nearly killed me. Placing people when their burdens destroy you and your life are the only solution. Ignore what people say pro or con - they all have different beliefs and yet none will step up and help you. It is a very sad fact of life but they will all tell you they will help, etc. but they WON'T - perhaps one or two times but then they disappear. And something else I learned - I became disabled and can't walk. All of a sudden my friends started disappearing one by one - they were afraid I might ask a favor, or push the wheelchair, or do something for me, or I was just too slow. It is sad but it happens. So I learned to do 99.9% of everything in my life myself - it is very painful and difficult but I do it because I have no choice. People don't want to be around "disabled" people - it makes them uncomfortable, perhaps feel helpless and frustrated, or they just don't want to be "involved" in any way. Face it - this is the way most of society treats people who are "different". Make your own happiness and know you did what was right.

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I feel compelled your answer your situation sounds so similar to mine. My family consisted of my dad, mom and me—period. My parents had either minimal or no relationship with anyone in their families and I was an only child. We moved to Woodstock right after the festival, where they committed their lives to being hippies and saving animals. Even after breaking up in their fifties, neither sought a divorce and the three of us continued to spend major holidays together. Because of their unusual and non-conventional lifestyle I had an extremely close relationship with both parents throughout my entire life. My mom really became “my everything” when I was 31 years old and lost my dad to cancer and my husband began what would ultimately be a 13 year battle over custody of our son. When she broke her hip this last anthurium right please

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Wow, taking care of Mom. At your age...Mom could not be any prouder. I'm proud of you too. I have a daughter about your age as well, she would be here for me in a heartbeat.
Don't beat yourself up. Even us older family members learn as we go and that's with everything from our beginnings with taking care of parents (or others), the challenges, and the end.
We are beat up, scarred, tired, exhausted, angry,sad, etc, then we pick ourselves up again. This is done over and over again through this whole ordeal.
We are the unspoken "heroes". We are the ones who may never get the praise or support and understanding that we need but we continue doing it anyway. "WE DO ALL WE CAN".
You, sweet girl, are part of this special group.
Yep, it's not easy. If you have your Mother at home or you have them taken care of somewhere, there is always paperwork and other things that need to be done. I don't know where you live but you should contact some agency for agency or see if the nursing home can help you with all that. Her doctor may be able to help with a referral.
Your Mom was a big part of your daily life. Her, your daily routine, all that has changed. It's not any different than if she past on. You need to give yourself a chance to grieve all of that.
Give yourself time to get your life together at home, your obligations with your mom, then go make a new life for yourself.
Make time to visit Mom but go do things for you. If you aren't ready for a job, do volunteer work, join a gym, take in a movie, read a book, visit a park or library. If you have the resources, go buy yourself something that will cheer you up. Later, you may consider getting more education. You deserve it.

I, like others, will be cheering you on. YOU GOT THIS!

Don't waste your time about what others should be doing or what they say...it'll make you crazy. We can't change them.

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Leave Mom There, She is in Good Care, Angel. Never mind all of the Heartless people who are Now what I call Fair Weather no Friends and Family.
See if you can b e POA for Mom, You seem to be the Only One, Hun, Who gives a Hoot. God Bless and just Continue to Visit her, make sure sh is Good, Take Care, God is There...

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I am her POA . Have been since I was little. I didn't understand the importance of being POA until now. I'm still trying to get used to all this... It's only been a month. Me scrambling around, watching videos, reading books, talking to people in support groups for addiction, elderly parents, being a CNA, healthcare, all of it... it's a lot. But I'm trying to go at my own pace...

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I'm really and truly sorry to read what you're going thru, but you're really having to deal with the real world for the 1st time in your life. I'm NOT SAYING you've done anything wrong, you've really done everything right with 1 exception...you forgot about yourself. Don't listen to anybody who is negative even though they feel they're helping you, they're not in your shoes. You're not alone in this situation, it happens to others later in life too. I'm presently in my home state to celebrate as best I can my Mom's 87th birthday today. Who is there to help me? Not 1 of my 3 siblings. 2 live here! I travel every month to visit Mom. It takes me 2 days because I can't drive straight thru 16-18 hrs. No, there are not flights from where we live to get me here in a normal flight time of 3 hrs. I drive, take care of the property and visit Mom and my stepfather at the assisted group home. My stepfather's oldest has been here 1 time for a weekend, his youngest son was here for 3 days ONLY because he lives 8 hrs away and their father was in the hospital for 3 days. His son had to sign the papers to release his Dad. If it were not for Mom's baby brother, the best Uncle ever, I don't know what I'd do. He and my Aunt visit Mom 1-2 times a week to help me. The couple who live in the group home, their daughter and the mgr are also people who help me. I was disgusted to read the bday cards my siblings sent to Mom with all the foo-foo crap about how much they love her and the best Mom ever. Why don't you visit, why didn't you tell her that when her mind was still there to understand, why didn't you show her how much you "love" her when it would have been more appreciated? All you can do is what you think is right, you've already done that your entire life. You need to start thinking about yourself too. You're way too young to lose out on life/world. I would suggest finding a therapist who can help you with your feelings and also help you step out into the world. I've become a recluse because of legal issues I'm dealing with my stepsh**s for the last 1.5 year. My siblings aren't dealing with anything I'm going thru and they don't want to, so fine, everything comes out in the wash and they're going to be quite surprised.
It's going to be hard and it is hard. Listen to your heart, you've made the decisions all your life, then screw everybody else. If Mom left everything to you, she knew what she was doing, she just didn't mean to place you between a rock and a hard place.

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Many people will say something like 'call if you need anything', but not follow through. Its kind of like saying 'how are you?' when most don't really want to know. The other issue I have found is when you try to 'talk it out' or just talk about your issues, many people will back away. Save your venting for here or with a therapist or counseling group (if you find things are not working with a therapist, try another - we don't always mesh with the person, so it may take trying another.)

I think that getting out, going to school and staying busy will help you. Education can open doors to your future. Staying busy with work and school will help take your mind off what you had to do. Being in school and working will also help you meet new people. Try not to focus on mom when interfacing with old family and friends, both new and old. Sure, it helps to have someone to talk to about it, but you'll have to find those special people who can handle it, For those who seem to have shut you out, try to reach out again, but in a casual way - maybe ask them to meet you for a bite to eat or coffee, and keep the conversation away from mom.

It is hard to "give in", but sometimes it is best for all! You can still visit her, take her little gifts or treats? For now it is new and raw. It may always be a little painful, but given time it should become more bearable.

Hopefully you can find a different job - having to go through the death process over and over is not for everyone. Some people can handle it, the rest of us cannot, especially when it happens too often! Maybe it can work for you later, if you choose to return to being a CNA, but it might be better to avoid that for now. You are young, and vulnerable, so it would be best not to expose yourself to that, at least for a while.

Do take care of yourself! When you get up in the morning, take some pleasure in the sunshine, birds singing, gentle breeze. If it is raining, remember that rain supports and brings forth new life!

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That actually makes a lot of sense . Thank you for the advice . I'll save my ranting on here, or a therapist, or writting in my journal . Or praying to god . Now I'm starting to understand why so many of my friends and family backed away . Thank you . And I'm in school, I just need to register for the next classes . It's going to take a while . But I have to keep living . And if my mom hates me for doing whats best for her, then so be it . I can't keep moving her to please her, her safety matters more .

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I am not surprised that all these people backed away. It happens more often than you think. Usually one person is left holding the caregiving desicions. Praying for you. Big Hugs ((( ))).

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The key phrase in all grief work is a "new normal" I wish you the best!

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Thank you . I'll try to look at it like that... Because it feels like I'm mourning my life, grieving my life.... I'm glad you guys understand ... I envy my friends that are my age... in there 20s... they won't have to go through the pain of putting there parent in a nursing home for another 20-30 years.... This is just something you don't expect a 20 yr old to go through . I'm trying to let myself cry, scream, rant, vent, anything, so I don't hold everything in ....

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I'm glad to hear that you are in school. Please do not take your mother back out of the nursing home. That would not be good for either of you. Some here just don't get how un-normal your life has been. It's like a delayed young adult hood that you have almost aged out of the time frame for. That's ok, just start where you are, find a therapist, take no prisoners and damn any torpedoes that get in your way like a Navy Admiral in battle once said and he won the battle. Torpedoes back then did not always work.

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Thank you . I'm starting to understand and accept how unusual my life has been . Most people in there 20s are not putting there parents in a nursing home, I think that's why a lot of people don't know what to say to me, or how to comfort me... Because it's that rare... Most of my friends in there 20's wont go through putting there parents in a nursing home for another 20-30 years... I pray they don't have to... But you can't predict life.

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It's not like you WANT to put your mom in a nursing home, it's because you can't take care of her anymore. I was in the same boat with my mom but I didn't have anyone criticizing me. My brother was ok with it. He never helped me physically with my mom but did other things. It got to the point where she couldn't do anything for herself. Our hospice team agreed and the last time she went into the hospital they put her in the nursing home. I don't remember them asking me but I would have agreed to it anyway. My mom also had dementia and one time I went to see her and she thought I was going to take her home. I told her I couldn't and why. She told me to get the hell out of her room. Lol She passed away three months ago and now she's at peace and no longer suffering.

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True . I mean , unless people are going through it, then they can't empathize or sympathize with what a caregiver is going through, putting someone in a nursing home. It's a lot to take in .

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You have missed out on a substantial amount of learning time. After high school people learn how to socialize, get and keep work, how to be their own individual. Pretty much everyone finds that transition challenging, you're just doing it later in life.

Get a counselor who can walk you through it. Your peers have forgotten what they went through, so now are unable to help you. The good news is, this will be easy with skillful guidance.

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Wow, you've been through a lot.

There are always people who will disagree with your choice to put a person in a NH. That's OK. They're entitled to their opinion. Allow them that. Do not let it bother you. You made the best choice you could and take a deep breath and let their negativity go in one ear and out the other.

Since you have been caring for your mom so long, perhaps your relationships were pretty neglected. Most caregivers don't have much time to do things with their friends and family. It might take time and effort to build and rebuild relationships. Be patient, stick with it, and you will find the right people to be part of your world.

You're going to have to find a new life for yourself. A job, friends, maybe a SO?? It's going to take some time. Be patient with yourself and the rest of the world as you adjust to all the newness.

I would also like to suggest that you do not put too much time into your mom at the NH. They are there to care for her and you are now a part-time supportive family member, not the main caregiver. Visit, keep an eye on things, but live your life too.

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What exactly do you want your family to do for you? Your friends? Hold your hand? Do you have a job - maybe go get one / part-time to start - that will take your mind off things / you can still visit your mom in the nursing home and spend time with her/
youll be fine - it’s a life changing routine for you now - seek out some therapy if you’re lost- people go thru change all the time! That is all life really is

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I think the poster is just expressing how much change it really is to go through. Its upsetting that people you think you can call on or expect kindness from, just vanish in the wind once your life is a caregiver. I don't think she was asking for her hand to be held but a little empathy or listening ear from those that always mentioned to call on them if needed. I totally get where she is coming from but also know that the only thing in this world that is consistent, is Change.

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Please find a support group even now that your mother is in a nursing home. Friends and family may not have the capacity I find to offer understanding or support. I started doing things alone to explore what I enjoy to get me away from care giving mindset. It felt lonely at first but life starts to happen. I think the more of your life you experience is what you now have to share with your mother. If you've helped her for so long, take time ground yourself now and take care of yourself. Best of wishes.

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Are we sisters and I was never told this? I will be your big sister if we are.
It's just me and my mom, and it is like I told everyone my mother had the Plague the way the "family" left afterwards. I TOTALLY get what you are saying. I've been doing it for 3 1/2 years. It is hard.

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You did the right thing finding a nursing home for your mother when it became obvious you could not manage her hands on care all by yourself. Now you are feeling not only unwarranted guilt about having "abanboned" her but you are feeling a bit purposes and at loose ends not having the day to day care taking tasks you were used to.

Do you work? Go to school? Are you able to support yourself? You are a lot younger than most of us on this forum. Your life and future are ahead. Think about things you would like to be doing now that care taking does not take up every hour of every day. Some of those ideas might give you focus on how to go on. You include your mother by visiting her, but she Does not have to be the ONLY thing you do.

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This is a great suggestion!!😇Especially school. I went to college four years ago, part time, and it has helped alot to distract me from constant caregiver mindset. I have earned two certifications and finish with Associates in Finance in the Spring. Putting your mind else where allows you to figure out what you want for your future.

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Start with long visits and gradually it will be easier to make them shorter. I visited at lunch almost daily to help feed my mom before she passed. You can get to know other family members maybe your mom has a roommate ,they can help and believe me not all homes have great care so if you visit often it's like a check up to seen for yourself

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You are grieving the loss of your mom...the loss of your “normal life”... as sure as you’d be grieving at a death. It seems as if you are spiraling. You are thrashing around looking for some solace. I imagine it feels as if the others have abandoned you because they can’t solve for this. They can’t take away this pain. They can’t stop your spiraling. You must go through this pain. Nothing or nobody can prevent that. Now, you CAN do many things to alleviate your hurt. First, breathe. Seriously, work on concentrating on your breathing. (I had to go to therapist when I was in somewhat similar circumstances. He pointed out that I was sighing a lot and holding my breath. Breathing exercises helped tremendously.) Please. Please find therapist.

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Please give yourself time for adjustment. This is like grieving a death, but in fact may be worse. It is a loss that others do not recognize as a loss, but think that you should feel free. In one sense you do. In another you feel grief for your Mom that she had to give up being with you, grief for yourself that you could no longer go on (and it is GRIEF you feel, I think, not guilt, because after all this time you DO know your limitations and you are right to).
You know, it was easy ENOUGH for everyone to offer help when you didn't take them up on it, when you were too busy, when they could just say their easy platitude and feel good about themselves. But NOW you have the nerve to actually need their help, and to need someone to talk to.
My recommend is that you get that SOMEONE TO TALK TO and have it be a professional. Licensed Social workers skilled in counseling on life change are often stellar at this helping you comb out your new life.
You are helpless as a newborn, hon. Look on it as a rebirth. As learning how to negotiate a whole new world. It may not BE the old friends. You may need new friends now who don't know the "old you". It may be some few of each.
Please do express a bit of what you have told US with your old friends. Say "You always said if I/we need you to tell you. I do need you. I need to just talk with a friend. Please let me know when you can give me an hour for lunch, let me MAKE you lunch, let me vent. I am confused, and need your wise counsel.
And again, please give yourself a good amount of time. You are a newborn. It will take time. It will for you and for Mom both. It won't be easy. There is an old Simon Says game in which you take as many steps back or forward as the caller tells you. You usually make slow progress forward, but not without some back steps. That's life.
Good luck. The absolute best of luck. You have DONE HARD. You know how to do hard. You will learn new things, new ways of being. That will all be, in the long run, to your benefit. You have been places most 27 years olds today cannot even begin to imagine. You have much to contribute to our world. Give yourself time. Be gentle with others and with yourself.

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A newborn ... I never thought Id hear anyone calling me that . Thanks for the understanding words. I know it will take me a long time to adjust to this... I'm still grieving, coping with all this... I hate it honestly , but there's not much left I can do . I did all I could do for mom . I tried my hardest to help mom, make her happy, make sure shes safe.

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Agree with all the above. Now is time to find your faith . As someone in the medical field you need to pop up there not announced on a regular basis and at different times. You seeing what’s going on and the staff seeing you regularly and at various times will afford that mom is watched over a little closer.... You don’t stay long. Just long just enough to check cleanliness. Her care etc then your gone.

i would also suggest that you stop by have a dinner with her. Then watch the staff shower and get her ready for bed. Maybe watch some TV until she falls asleep ..... Or yes if she’s able take her out to a lunch or a movie . Or do a combination of all these things

You can still have your mother/daughter relationship that does not have to end . .And your presence will alert the staff that you are making sure moms taken care of.

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Go get some professional help because you are dealing with a whole life change here - it is boarder line PSD that will get worse without some councelling -

Image your life as a boat that the anchor has suddenly been lost so is now adrift so you need to do something to stop from going up on some rocks so you might have to start an engine, put out a sea anchor, put up a sail .... all possible solutions but only you can pick but you need advice/education on how to do all these things

Remember you are doing this next step for yourself for the most part but somewhat for your mom so that you can cope with her next phases in the best way for you both - good luck

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I thought I just had anxiety and depression . I forgotten about PTSD ... doesn't help that I did work doing CNA for the past four years while also caring for mom, watching people die, pass away over and over again. Most people my age, will not, and cannot understand what it's like going through that...

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First, you have no reason to feel guilty. You are doing what's best for your mom. You are going through a grieving process. It's normal to feel lost after being her caretaker for so long and being together. You don't have that now and even though some people may think that's great for you, it's a challenge. And it's normal. In your head you know your mom is being taken care of and you know you just can't do it anymore. It's getting your heart to know this. Do you have a job? If not you might want to look for one or if you don't need to work then maybe do volunteer work of some kind. Google it on the internet for your area for a list of places looking for help. (I was going to suggest you join a senior group but you are pretty young for that) Do you like animals? The zoo or a vet may be a good place. Take up playing the ukulele. (I did this and ended up in 4 different groups that keep me so busy it isn't even funny). As you make new friends things will get better. I'm pretty sure that as you look for things to keep you busy you'll have less time to be depressed about your mom. Please check back with us and let us know how you are doing.

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Thank you . I will try to do BOTH. Looking for a jobs, and volunteer . Also continuing school .

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I'm not sure how to phrase this, so forgive me if it comes out wrong.

This is normal. Everyone says, "call me if you need me." - but really? They don't want you to call, especially if you're asking for help. I've had a lot of people say it to me since my DH passed last year and I just got into the habit of saying, "thank you, I appreciate your offer to help. I'll let you know."

And as long as I never seem to need help - people keep asking and offering.

27 is an adult, but looking at it from 67, you're actually still extremely young and you're right - people are "abandoning" you when you are in need. God is not a last resort, God was my first line of defense while I was seeking guidance to take care of my 96 yr old DH.

And, the people you're needing right now? They're probably in your age group and they don't know what to do or say - so they disappear. Try to start asking for hugs from people - that they can do, and hugs do help.

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I hope that it doesn't happen to me, I'm in the same boat with my wife. Hardest decision I've ever made in my life! I can no longer deal with the mid-night and later bath room calls every night and have decided to put her in a home I am 65 ears old had breast cancer and colon surgery and physically unable to help in and out of bed and on and off the toilet. Good luck I really hope you get through it, your young and have your whole life ahead of you!!

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You will get through this and you are already strong. Caregiving made you strong! There is nothing to regret. You are doing everything you can, and you always have.

We find out at these very tough emotional times, who our real friends are -and aren’t. Like in your situation, I found out the people who I expected to be there just weren’t. It is painfully disappointing, but if you look for the silver lining, you will see some people who you didn’t expect will be there.

Savor every moment with your parent. She was there for you, and you for her, and as life has it, she cannot possibly be there forever. Make every moment count.

When you are not with her, take kind loving care of yourself. Don’t turn to liquor or food for comfort. Don’t overspend. These “vices” will compound your problems later. Join a gym, take a walk in nature, enjoy a great film.

You are not alone. There are legions of us who have walked in these same shoes.

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I have also been caring for my mom as younger caregiver for ten years. Im now 39. You are in the spot I wish I was at. Transition is never easy, but so necessary!! Your mom is now being cared for and you are only 27, its time to start living! I know its your mom, but she lived her 20's!! Hobbies, friends, relationships, education! The world is at your feet. Caring for mom from distance doesn't mean you don't care but you have to start thinking more about Your life now! As far as the family & friends. Well, you find out who your real friends and family are!! Mine has also mysteriously vanished while Ive had the weight of the world on my shoulders. Carma is the best you can hope for there. You made right decision and I'm fixing to do same thing. I can't handle it all any further, and its ok!! We pushed as far as humanly possible!! Keep your head up & take care of you!😇

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Thank you <3 I wish you the best of luck . It's a process . Unless people have been in our shoes, no one can understand what we are going through.

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You are at a pivotal moment in your life, one that will require patience and understanding on your part as well. In general people do not deal well with constant drama and negatives. It is just human nature. Perhaps, some feel that since she is now placed in a home, everything is ok. I realize that it is not, and there still will be caretaker responsibilities, your young friends do not understand this, they are all about living their life, not donating it to a LO.

Putting your mother in a nursing home is the best thing for her and you both, it will give you a chance to start living your life, just as it should be for a young person.

I suggest that you start making a plan as to what your next step is, get out make new friends, a job, start living, each step that you take in the right direction will help you to improve your mental health. Make the past years a guidepost, not a hitching post...life is a song worth singing....sing it! Hugs!

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Thank you . Slowly I've been talking to old high school friends . I already started school . Looking for a job. Getting back into hobbies... It's just A LOT . I'm trying to take it one day at a time .

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Family and friends back off after putting mom in the nursing home. How do you deal with it all?

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