I am a HHA by profession. I noticed the decline in my father’s health and mental status and started the discussion with my mother and brothers about what to do to help him. Mom called in my brothers who live out of town. They then took over POA and chose to put Dad in a nursing home. Information was shared with me after decisions were made. Mom became unhappy with this facility. Again, changes were made without even talking with me. I realize I’m not POA, but I do live here and see what’s going on first hand.
No one "takes over" POA. It is GIVEN to them. POA is conferred on someone by CHOICE, and by someone who is of sound mind.
You don't have POA. Step back into your own life and let this group manage the care and the problems that Mom and Dad conferred upon them. Don't discuss or gossip about it. If Mom or Dad complain let them know they gave POA to the people they gave it to, and to discuss it with those people; meanwhile take them out to lunch or something pleasant, and then get on with your life.
You have no power here and no responsibility.
Some of us here who are the ONLY caregiver would LOVE for the siblings to take over!!!
Are you a woman? If so looks like your input means nothing to ur brothers and your Mom is allowing them to handle everything. After being a POA for Mom and now for a nephew, be glad you don't have POA responsibility. You may just have to sit back and allow brothers make the decisions.
I would not, without being POA financially and Medically, care for Mom or Dad.
What does "changes were made" mean? Did your brothers move your father to another facility?
Did your mother complain to your brothers, or only to you? How often do you see your parents, and are you doing any caregiving for them?
I echo what others have already said here. Step away. I hope you told your mother to complain to your brothers who make all the decisions.
And I hope you don't intend to become your mother's 24/7/365 caregiving slave, if/when the time comes. How is she doing? How old are your parents? What are their medical issues?
Your parents put your brothers in the decisionmaking role. Make sure that they don't involve YOU in any decisions without your input. You complain about that now, but what if they decide YOU need to move in with Mama, or vice-versa without your input? There have been people in this forum who do just that because siblings told them to do it.
Back out, let them handle it don't continue to be the one who does all the runaround and caretaking for your parents, after all they do have sons to handle this job.
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