My Dad used to love to eat just about everything. He is losing weight, is weaker and today had constipation so bad he went to the emergency clinic where they had to take painful and extraordinary measures to help him. He lives on his own but has agency help, close neighbors, friends who check on him and bring him food, and his niece in town (she's a nurse) His doctor gave him pills to enhance his appetite but it didn't work. I think moving him into an elder apartments where his friend lives would be good for him and might help his appetite. He is so stubborn and wants to remain at home. I'm the only child - Mom died 3 years ago. Up until a few months ago, Dad seemed okay (not great , but okay - he doesn't like the fact that my husband and me won't move there and he doesn't want to come out here to CA ) I feel hopeless and guilty about this at times, but do visit him every 3 months (a 2000 mile trip). ANy advice?
See if he will consider riding with a friend to local senior center for companionship and noon meal.
Hard being so far. Just visit when you can and call and send cards and little treats in between visits.
It sounds like you've done what you can for your dad from a distance and it sounds like he has a good support system in place. I hope you can get the food/constipation figured out.
If over the last few months he's had a noticeable change in weight, appetite, and energy, then I would want him to be checked for a new (or newly worsened) medical problem.
New/worse constipation can be from something in the colon, from meds, or from just eating a lot less and being dehydrated. I do usually suggest miralax and also senna, but that's after having made sure that this constipation isn't signaling something worrisome that should be treated, or at least known about.
Eating less can be all kinds of things...can be due to losing sense of smell, can be dental problems, can be loss of appetite due to serious illness in the body, can be trouble getting to store because of cognitive/physical problems, etc.
I would look into the underlying causes of these changes before planning a living change...it is often a bad sign when someone his age loses a lot of weight...sometimes we find a treatable cause and turn things around and sometimes we don't.
It sounds like it's hard for you to accompany him to the doctor since you live far away, but maybe you can see if his doc will use visit sharing technology, or can someone you trust go with him? Tell the doc you want help understanding why he's having these problems, along with appetite improvers and laxatives.
Good luck!
You might suggest to his providers to experiment with foods with different textures-chunky soups and stews or creamy smooth ones. Perhaps serving some hot and cold foods in the same meal. Encourage foods that have a high liquid and fiber.
P.S. I, like some other folks, would suggest Miralax. It's gentle and works by pulling water into the bowel. I would only use the mag citrate on advice of father's physician--it's irritating and powerful and unless dad can move quickly, could have some unpleasant consequences.
One last thing, if your father is mobile, walking aids digestion and elimination. If that's not feasible, gentle abdominal massage can be beneficial, too.
I used to work for a pharmacy that supplied nutrition products. Have you tried any of the nutritional meal replacement/supplements? Many people enjoy the soothing texture of pudding and Boost and Ensure both make meal-replacement type puddings. Ensure also has a complete line of liquid supplements including Ensure Clear if the milkshake type is unappealing to him.
Whatever you decide, don't beat yourself up.You're doing the best you can. None of us have a crystal ball about the future. Keep us posted on how he's doing.