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Hi!

I’m worried about my aging parents’ safety. My mother has Alzheimer and my father is too old to care for her. Do I really have to consider a private home for them?

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There are lots of things that can be done to increase the safety of elders in their own home. We are taking more and more actions for my mother's safety. She is 92 and lives alone in a small apartment. We want to keep her on her own as long as possible. I've done things to keep my husband safer at home wth me, but it is clear to me and to his children that if anything happens to me he would NOT be safe on his own no matter what measures were put in place. One size solutions do not fit all!

I can't tell from your brief description whether your parents could stay where they are for a little longer if they had some support measures in place, or if it truly is time to find a different place for them to live.

If you want to describe the situation in more detail, people in similar situations may be able to share what they've done.

Regarding medical alert systems: My mother and my husband both have them. My mother used it a couple of weeks ago when she fell. Hooray! I doubt that my husband would have the presence of mind to remember he has it in an emergency. I pay for it every month, but I don't rely on it much. Perhaps your mother could use it, even if your father could not.
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As Carol says, it definitely sounds like its time to look into in home care. Also, a great additional tool (to be used in conjunction with home care, as your situation sounds severe) to be used in this case could be a medical alert system. These systems can be used in the event that a senior falls and for some reason isn't accompanied when they do. It is also useful for loved one and caregivers living with alzheimers patients-- mood swings sometimes bring about a situation you can't handle and if your home care professional is not around, the button can be pushed by you to call help.
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I'd certainly look into that unless they can afford 24 hour in-home care. They could be safer and after an adjustment time more content in some type of assisted living, and you could relax about their safety. Please look into some type of help.
Take care,
Carol
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