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I am hesitant to post this, because it is pretty complicated, but I will try and boil it down.


My FIL has been diagnosed as "unable to manage his own affairs", and I believe this is along with dementia/Alzheimer's. He was in the hospital due to a hernia issue, and while there also had edema in is feet, which is probably related to congestive heart failure. My wife and her sisters all believe he has always had some type of mental illness and has been on psych drugs for many years. That being said, he can be very rational on some occasions, to the point where you might meet him and not think anything is wrong.


His family has almost *all* had these same mental issues as they aged. His sister called the police on her caregivers (her niece) and was generally unmanageable. Most importantly, he had to put his own father in a NH for his violent behavior.


The issue here is that he is stating that he does not belong in the ALF, and wants my wife to "get him a lawyer." He has been making plans to leave, and the ALF is not locked.


Yesterday, he called my wife and told her that people from Medicaid have been there asking him questions for 2 days, and that they made him sign something. He has already been approved for Medicaid, so I do not think this is about that.


While we are trying to reach out to the facility staff about this, I have been researching this, and cannot find anything that sounds like a "Medicaid examiner" that would be interviewing him.


While we realize that we may not be getting a full or true story, I figured I would at least ask if this story makes sense. Is it possible that his stating that he wants out, and that he does not belong there, could have caused the ALF to bring in some type of outside examiner?


Thanks in advance!

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FIL's Personal Physician diagnosed him as unable to manage his own affairs?  That's in writing to his family?  Although there's family history, maybe erring on the side of caution would be wise, though it may prove to be true later.

Those with dementia do unintentionally create 'stories' in their minds, some making no sense, but occasionally in some there's a bit of truth within the chaos.

If he was diagnosed by 'someone' (a Dr.?) as 'unable to manage his own affairs,' then no one should be interviewing FIL, asking him questions, having him sign papers without the presence of a trusted relative/appointed guardian who is competent to move forward according to his best interests.  Your wife?  If anyone did anything like that without a competent person present for your FIL ..as he was deemed incompetent and they (ALF) were aware of this, you may need to contact an attorney for advice. 

This may be part of why he wants to leave ALF Or it could be part of his condition (dementia?).  Get a 2nd opinion.  Be sure a competent, trusted person who cares for him is present for that.

Good luck.
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1) no one from "Medicaid" comes to interview anyone. Maybe it was a social worker, but not sure why they'd be there. If he can't even figure out how to call a lawyer for himself, he won't know how to contact social services, unless the facility did it for him. Admin should be asked this question. He's not the first senior to think they don't "belong" in a care facility.
2) has he been diagnosed with cognitive and/or mental issues by a doctor?
3) who has his durable PoA?
4) does the PoA have a relationship with the AL admin to where they understand the issues with FIL? If so, they would have/should have contacted the PoA with a report of behavioral changes/problems.

If he has a dementia/cognitive diagnosis then tries to leave the facility he might be moved to memory care by the AL as they don't want to be liable for "wanderers". Not sure telling him this will change anything if he doesn't understand he has a diagnosed problem. The PoA (if there is one) needs to jump in with admin to discuss what next steps are. He is trying to run his show, but no longer can. If he can be moved to a different area of care then they may be able to prescribe meds that may benefit him. Again, the PoA needs to move into the gap to clarify what's going on and how to proceed. If he's not able to contact a lawyer on his own, don't enable it for him or keep this fantasy alive. Learn how to redirect the conversations.

If no one has PoA for him and he won't assign anyone, then you may choose to pursue conservatorship or guardianship over him. This is a legal process that costs time, money and a trip into the courts to prove his incapacity. Otherwise, social services will begin the guardianship process and they will act in his best interests but will have the ability to move him and family will not be privy to any further information. I wish you the best outcome in this situation!
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The assisted living facility is charged with making sure your FIL is discharged into a safe situation. Could the interviews have been part of determining a safe discharge plan? It is surprising that the ALF has not reached out to his family. Does he have a health care power of attorney set up?

Where would your FIL live if he left the ALF? Just having a diagnosis of dementia does not, unfortunately, mean that you are legally incapable of making decisions. The interviews may have been to determine his capacity to make decisions. In my experience, making bad decisions isn't enough. You have to show the person is incapable of understanding the issues.

Your father in law's family should get in touch with the ALF and ask what is going on.
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