I am new to care giving to my Mother-in-law. I don't think I can do this for the long term. She has minimal Social Security and no other income. My husband will retire in the next few years and I am retired and have medical problems. We won't be able to continue care for her. What do to be proactive about the future for her living circumstances?
For better or worse, it is extremely easy to setup on-line banking. So, setup an account for your mom with her bank (honestly, a child can do this), and then you have access to all of her banking records and even photographs of the cancelled checks going back years!!!!!!
It will all be there for you in the comfort of your own home. No need to beg the bank or pay for records.
As for the rest, good luck! Listen to these wise people.
It is good that you are planning ahead. So many of us where thrown into the mixer without any warning.
Here are some articles https://www.agingcare.com/articles/convincing-parent-assisted-living-142136.htm
https://www.agingcare.com/Nursing-Homes
You can obtain "tax transcripts" online and free, which really was where we had to start with mthr.
I am so sorry that you had this experience with the in laws. What a stinky sister in law's husband too. I imagine he was caught up in a net of wrongdoing too, which is why he burned the statements.
The Care Facility (Nursing Home) usually takes all their funds but just a few dollars and I mean a few, like $20. Its a good idea to get her to sign a POA (Power of Attorney) for bank accounts, medical records etc, Does she have a Will? Does she have an Advanced Directive. These are all simple forms that you can do yourself. The Will may be a bit different depending on her assets. But it sounds like she really doesn't have much so it shouldn't be complicated. Just something that shows where those things she has collected over the years like her wedding ring will go. You can over complicate this but you don't have to. Just think "what would I want to happen if it were me-Do I want CPR, do I want Life Support, Do I want buried or cremated, what do I want to be buried in, who gets what -all these found in Advanced Directive and the Will. I hope this helps. Just want to add this, was your FIL in the Military? Did he retire? I found out they would have paid me to care for my mother if she didn't want to go to a nursing home or they would pay several hundred $ towards assisted living. Seems the amount they would pay me was about $1300 and what they paid towards AL was only about half. If they paid me, I would have to show where my mother was actually paying me to care for her. But our money was put in a pot to pay all the bills, so it really didn't matter. She pays me and it goes back in the pot, I just needed that record. Mom passed before I could get the 1st check. I found out about it too late and she was already very sick. You will need your FIL DD214 from the Military to get started. May be worth a shot. Good Luck
Have you considered Senior housing. She may (or may not) qualify for subsidized housing where the rent is a percentage of her income. Her assets may preclude her from qualifying for that, but there may be other options in your geographic area.
Medicaid (to my knowledge) only supports facilities for those unable to take care of themselves. Usually that means that they are unable to perform 2 or more activities of daily living. Senior housing in my area often includes some level of social services interaction. Call your county office of aging to get started on what options are in your area. Good luck and let us know how this progresses.
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