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You apparently have the misfortune of having a political crazy for a mother who places ideology over kinship. Give her time. When she gets scared of being isolated from you, she will come around. Then you’ll just have to both promise never to discuss anything political again.
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mathisawesome May 2021
I have for years tried to not talk about politics/religion with her. I can't stand it. Nobody can have a valid point except her. She will never agree to that and if she odes for a bit...she will just say "oh I can't talk to you about that" in a very crappy tone. It's like I'm not allowed to have my own thoughts. She is from the school of "if you don't think/believe like me then your going to hell."
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remember, she is the only mother you will ever have and whatever you do, you do not want to wake up one day and say "if only..." I would send her cards/letters, even phone calls - let her be the one who ignores your efforts. When [if] you see her, just tell her you love her and are there for her. You want to be the adult in the relationship. The likelihood is she will come around, but will continue to test you. Do you have children? does your mother also turn them away if they visit, call, etc. In the interim, you might want to talk with estate attorney to make sure will, POA, etc. are in place [for your husband's mother as well] You can only do what can do, but I think if you do what you believe is right, you will be the happier one in the long run. If she wants to talk about something that is argumentative, try changing the subject - perhaps to grandchildren, family, friends or even the weather. If she remains hostile, just leave until the next time. I do not say this approach is necessarily easy, but will be worth it.
Good luck to you!
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