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My mother lives on her own with Carers visiting. She has now started saying that she can’t understand the microwave and oven, then washing machine. All of a sudden she said she doesn’t know how to use them. Her electric fire was old so we replaced with the identical one, now she is saying she doesn’t know how to work it no matter how many times I tell her it’s identical she says she still doesn’t know how to work it and it’s stressing me out. She had her microwave on that high that she burnt the chips and broke her teeth as they were that hard. She won’t get tested for Alzheimer’s or Dementia, it’s driving me mad.

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You are describing my mother. Sadly, it won’t improve, and it is not her fault, and it is indeed frustrating. Getting new simple-for-seniors devices will not help. They will be strange and new and she won’t be able to use them, at least my mom can’t no matter how many times one explains “Just push ‘start’.” I hope others have advice on how to help, because I would like to know it, too. All I have right now for you is empathy and understanding of what you are dealing with.
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Taylorb1 Oct 2021
Thanks you
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Don't be mad at her. It isn't her fault and can't help it. Imagine the terror of not understanding how to do things.

She needs placement.
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If your mother is so out of it with dementia that she broke her teeth eating burnt up hard food, she can't be living alone anymore. Even with 'carers' coming in to help she is not safe.
If the plan is for her to remain in her home then one of these carers has to move in there and live with her, or it has to be arranged for someone to be in the home 24 hours a day. If there's no family willing to let her live with them and take care of her, she will have to go to a care facility.
There's no choice here. she cannot be left living on her own if she's burning up food. That's dangerous. Household appliances can be very dangerous indeed to some elderly person with dementia.
It doesn't matter how many times you or anyone else tells her how the fireplace works. She has dementia.
Please find a care facility to put her in even if placement has to be done against her will. It's for her own safety.
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Taylorb1 Oct 2021
Thank you but it’s not possible for anyone to live with her as she only has one bedroom I did say to my son that she would be better off in a home as I feel she is getting worse she hasn’t been diagnosed with Dementia as she refuses to get tested but all the signs are there thanks for your advice
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Are you her PoA? Is anyone?
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Taylorb1 Oct 2021
She won’t pay the money to get the POA arranged unfortunately they get miserable when they get to that age
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I know exactly how you feel, I feel that I no longer have my own life. My mum passed away nearly four years ago from bone cancer, my Dad has advanced Parkinson’s so basically I have just stepped in to my mums shoes like his wife. I feel like I am going absolutely mad and although I love my Father dearly I cannot take much more of this. I found this website a few months ago and read what other family caregivers had to say. You have this thoughts and become angry about everthing . But until I found this website I realised it isn’t just me thinking that my Father is a selfish , spoilt narcissist person that thinks that the whole world revolves around him and my life doesn’t matter. I love my Father dearly, but he always ruled our house with an iron rod , my mum, brother and sister were yes sir no sir three bags full sir and not me. I lost my husband when he was 38 years old, at the time I was 36 and my only beautiful son was 7 seven years old. So myself and my darling son have been through a lot for years. But being a single parent I was very hard and strict and my son is a very beautiful special young man who I am so so proud of. Then in 2008 discovered I had frightening epileptic seizures and a brain tumour, so life hasn’t been easy, but what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger ha ha. So I am the eldest of three, my brother who is a heroin addict and my younger sister who is an alcoholic. Both my siblings live 10 minutes away from my Fathers house , my brother might help if he needs money from him but my sister does absolutely nothing it is absolutely disgusting. I can no longer drive due to my epilepsy and I live miles away it takes 4 and sometimes 5 buses to get to my Fathers. Oh I am so sorry rambling on , I love my Father dearly but all he thinks about is himself my drug addict brother and loser sister, but who gives a thought about me at all it is absolutely killing and breaking me. I am having epileptic seizures more than ever, I will be buried before my Father. It’s only me that is expected to care for him , he doesn’t say a word to the other two. All I would love is a little bit of help. I basically do feel like my life has ended. And the more I do for him the more he expects and it’s never enough. Just wondering if anyone else feels the same ha ha . Ranting did make me feel a little better. Thank you
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