Hello friends. Dad is not wealthy by all means, but has a retirement of sorts and social security. He's been in and out of hospitals, now skilled nursing through out this summer. I've noticed everywhere he goes he targets a woman, or even two, he feels he can manipulate with money, and he actually does accomplish this sadly, then bribes her or them with cash tips, insisting they take it, of course they do, then he tells them he wants to hire them to take care of him. Because he targets the types who would take money from an elderly man, it works. Then the women start flirting with him, which is obvious, this is when I can tell things are going bad, then he tells me he wants to hire that woman to take care of him when he goes home. Then the woman gets an attitude towards me because she knows it's not right and I won't approve.
This is the third time it's happened at a facility and he is really getting ready to go home this time too. I'm DPOA for him, so the only people getting hired, are ones I hire, but I can't take care of him because I work about 35 hours a week, have my own home and have a daughter living with me and I know if I allow this, he'll cash out his retirement and write any woman who will do this a check basically, or just cash it and give her cash every week till it's gone, basically she'd get double pay. I know even if I go through a company for home health care, this will happen again, he has an eye for a lower class frankly. The most recent incident was last week, he called my brother and asked him to bring him cash. He did not call me because I'm DPOA for him and he knew I wouldn't fall for this. Brother took him 200.00. Brother called me after the fact, and wanted to know why Dad needed cash, I said he didn't, he gets everything he needs. Brother insistently got mad, said he is bribing people again? I said if that's what you want to call it, it probably went to his two nurses. Brother is angry, I'm angry. I go to Dad, he claims brother never came out, is too cheap to pay for the gas for the drive, but the day nurse was obviously flirting with dad, freaked when she saw me, left and then didn't come back to his room, when she normally would have. I'm thinking on reporting this, but I can't prove it. Any creative ideas on controlling dads behavior, keeping him from doing this, or overall protecting his funds from him actually getting to it after he gets back home would be greatly appreciated. He is a womanizer. I'm thinking about hiring all men if I can for home health care if it's possible.
I am a nurse in home healthcare and I work for an agency. We have a strict policy about not accepting cash or gifts from patients. I had a little old lady I cared for a few times and she'd try to give me cash at the end of my shift and not only did I not take it but I tried to explain to her that she shouldn't be offering it because other nurses might take it. Then I reported this to my office.
Cut your dad off from cash completely because some people you hire will take it. If your hire from an agency (as I think everyone should because with an agency you have someone to go to if you're having problems with one of their staff) let the agency know that your dad does this and that it's become a very serious problem. If you are aware of this and the agency is aware of this, if the person you hire takes money (or valuables or whatever) the person you hire not only has to answer to you but to their own agency. It's just another safeguard to put into place to keep your dad from being taken advantage of.
You should be the one to hire home care, not dad. Do so thru a reputable liscenced and insured agency and call references. Monitor the situation. You can't stop dad from flirting or giving away money, but you can control how much by limiting his available funds.
If he is reasonable, tell him how much he is paying for their services and how much it will add up if he has to continue the care full time or move to a care facility. My experience is that seniors are pretty cheap and have no idea what the big picture costs can be over several yrs.