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The smell in the house is getting unbearable. Can anyone give me some advice? He is my son and I am 85 years old and unable to change his mind about this problem. It has been a year now. All he does is sit and watch movies. He is unable to walk without a walker and refuses to go to a doctor. He won't go further than the small porch that he sometimes, with coaxing, will sit there on a nice day. He will talk to me when I start a conversation, but the moment I stop, he goes right back to watching the movie. I've been told by family members to have him removed to some other place, but I think it will traumatize him. I am so sad about this situation, but I can't make him leave against his will. He eats well and I always try to give him nourishing meals, which he enjoys.

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Immediately contact social services about placing him in a group home. You are not going to live forever, so see to his placement NOW.
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If his main impairment is depression, he likely has an extremely hard time taking initiative. A rule, such as "You must take a shower on Mondays" -- or a small set of rules "If the weather is nice, you must sit on the porch one hour per day" etc might help overcome the lack of initiative. Printed rules posted in several places. You show up with a towel, robe, and soap on Monday "It is time for your shower now." You show up with a cup of coffee or a glass of lemonade and the newspaper, "It is porch time now." Assume that he can't get going on his own, but that he might be able to comply if you get him started.

Is a doctor treating his depression now? Have you met with/talked to this doctor? Does he or she know of the current situation?

Working with his doctor and setting some rules MIGHT help you get your son off dead center in front of the tv.

But Pam S is right. Ultimately you will not be there to take care of him, to see that he eats well, to set rules for him. Then what? It would be best for both of you if you begin the process of finding an alternative living arrangement for him now. He may be more willing comply with house rules elsewhere, and the transition would perhaps go more smoothly if you are available to visit him and talk on the phone.
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What is you sons ailment? Clearly something is terrible wrong with his mental state. It doesn't seem right that an 85 year old mom should be taking care of a 60 year son unless he is legitimately disabled, which he may well be, but it's not clear from your post. In any event can you get some help in the home or have him placed in a facility? This situation seems unmanageable for an 85 year old person.
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Each suggestion was really helpful to me. It's nice getting it off my chest. You each are very understanding and I'm very thankful for that. As you must realize that I just can't confide in anyone that I know. So I'm very grateful for your input. I am going to do my best to follow your suggestions.
Sincerely.
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