I moved back in with my mom in 1993 when my dad had AL and then passed. My mom is now 76 and I have asked the doctor to have her tested for it. She has a friend and her daughter that I have her go visit with to take some pressure off us. Well that so called friends have now become instigator in what is go on. My mom has always been controlling. An out of seven kinds in our family I can't get any help. She keeps telling me she doesn't want to go to any doctor she has to talk to. I told her she has to talk to any doctor she will ever see for anything. She tells her friends that I don't give her enough food, an that I am hiding things from her. So she doesn't trust me anymore. She knows how to get what she wants from people. She loves Pepsi. Doesn't brush her teeth at all. So now I have to take her to a oral surgery. But her friend keeps buying her more pepsi. I really don't know what to do anymore. I have asked family and friends for statements to get legal guardianship. That way I hope to ease the arguments somewhat. I have to do something. She is so mean to me and my daughter. Please there is so much more to this, but I am just so out of ideas right now. Any ideas. Thanks
You mention a daughter, how old is she? Where is her dad? Either your daughter predates the time you moved in with mom, making her old enough to deal with grandma herself, or she has grown up in a very dysfunctional household.
As for no one else seeing a problem, that is common. You are the one with her the most so you pick up on all the subtle changes. And the rest of the family is content to not rock the boat, if they have let you sacrifice your life for 23 years they are hardly about to step up now, she has become your lifelong burden simply because you are the one who chose to carry her.
Work to get all the legal documents in order that you will need to care for her. Make sure she has healthcare and financial POAs, has talked about advanced directives, signed hippa forms so you can liaise with her doctor and has a Will. If you find you need extra help don't waste time hoping for volunteers, plan how you will pay for outside help.