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Who are you caring for?
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How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
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Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
Imw your Mom will adjust sometimes it takes longer and you may have to say to her that you can no longer care for her-five years is a long time and there comes a time to think of yourself and to have a life of your own-I had come to that point about two years before I stated it to the social worker I was hoping someone else would bring it up and no one did but when I decided I could no longer care for my husband at home others supported me and he died a few weeks later-if I were you I would not get into caregiving with her again the social worker will know if she can live in assisted living or needs to be in a nursing home I know how hard it is to say I can not do it any longer and stick to your guns you can still be a part of her life if she shows respect to you and does not try to make you feel bad -on your terms-best of luck to you and be good to yourself you sure deserve it.
The problem I had was that mom would object to anyone else except me doing the caregiving, didn't trust anyone else. Now that she is in the nursing home she is having to learn to adjust to having someone else help her. She is so mad about being in the nursing home now that she is trying to do everything herself and trying to prove that she can be released to live on her own, and doing things like trying to walk alone without her walker, sooner or later she will fall again if she does not use her walker. Trouble is I have already moved out of the apartment, which was too expensive for me alone to afford, and I can't face moving again and having her control me again after all I have been through taking care of her for five years. I could go on doing this forever, but somewhere I have to draw the line and have my own life. I just hope she will adjust to whatever care she has if they release her to go to assisted living.
If you are worried about abuse (and your mother can tell you, which makes a difference), then the problem seems more like "can this caregiver just let it ride and be kind anyway?" It is likely your mother just doesn't like having a caregiver. She's angry at her loss of independence and is taking this anger out on her.
It sounds like this caregiver isn't through an agency, so that makes it harder to try others. If you had that option, you mother may be asking for this one back, after calling her bluff. But your options are limited here.
If you are sure your mom is safe and the caregiver can let the nit-picking go without getting angry, you maybe just need to ride with it. If you aren't sure and think the situation may become abusive (in the other way), then you will have to try something else.
The problem is that if I ask for someone else our current caregiver will not have a job and I will lose her. She is kind to her and that is very important. My mother's complaints are never regarding mistreatment or not having her needs met. She says that the caregiver sometimes falls asleep while sitting with her and that she leaves her alone while she does housework. She also says that when she calls her she comes. I ask the caregiver to do diferent things with her throughout the day. If she wants to take her out my mother will often say no but if she doesn't ask her then she wants to go out. Luckily my mother can tell me if someone is mean to her but usually it's the other way around. Friends have suggested a nanny cam but I feel that if I have to do that then maybe that person should not even be here. It would create a lot of anxiety for me to be watching the camera while I am at work.
This isn't unusual. She is probably feeling anger toward needing care at all, so she is fighting the person who is helping her. It's a difficult thing to deal with, but personalities can enter in, too. If there is a choice of people, you may want to see if the agency or home can switch people to see if that helps. Carol
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It sounds like this caregiver isn't through an agency, so that makes it harder to try others. If you had that option, you mother may be asking for this one back, after calling her bluff. But your options are limited here.
If you are sure your mom is safe and the caregiver can let the nit-picking go without getting angry, you maybe just need to ride with it. If you aren't sure and think the situation may become abusive (in the other way), then you will have to try something else.
Keep us posted.
Carol
The problem is that if I ask for someone else our current caregiver will not have a job and I will lose her. She is kind to her and that is very important. My mother's complaints are never regarding mistreatment or not having her needs met. She says that the caregiver sometimes falls asleep while sitting with her and that she leaves her alone while she does housework. She also says that when she calls her she comes. I ask the caregiver to do diferent things with her throughout the day. If she wants to take her out my mother will often say no but if she doesn't ask her then she wants to go out. Luckily my mother can tell me if someone is mean to her but usually it's the other way around. Friends have suggested a nanny cam but I feel that if I have to do that then maybe that person should not even be here. It would create a lot of anxiety for me to be watching the camera while I am at work.
Carol