I have been helping my longtime boyfriend take care of his grandmother, who has dementia, for almost 3 years now. I have never been able to get payed for all the work I do; which range from managing her daily medications to household chores. Neither me or my boyfriend can get her to agree to pay us as her caregivers. We've tried the local IHSS office where we live but were told she doesnt qualify. Please help with any of your answers/suggestions. Have in mind that this woman has the finances to pay me or any other person for that matter to be heling her. She simply refuses to. I've heard something about suing a person for loss wages, how does one go about doing so. I would appreciate any help I can get because im tired of feeling used and taken advantage of by this woman. And am too nice of a person to just stop helping her.
As an employee you will require all taxes and disability, unemployment, social security, Homowners wont cover caregivers so workmans comp is required, either that or hire an agenc.
It is despicable to save one from a cre home preserving the estate at your expense and portray you as a leech when room and board is inclusive and less than minimum required , sorry!
You can g back 3 years sometimes 4 if circumstances allow..
It is $4,000- $6000 a month for 24-7 365 care
15 hrs a day 6 days a week at min wage after all taxes et paid is $5,000 a week
IF you must be awakened all night is neraly $7,000 a month, at min wage!
As an employee you will require all taxes and disability, unemployment, social security, Homowners wont cover caregivers so workmans comp is required, either that or hire an agenc.
It is despicable to save one from a cre home preserving the estate at your expense and portray you as a leech when room and board is inclusive and less than minimum required , sorry!
You can g back 3 years sometimes 4 if circumstances allow..
It is $4,000- $6000 a month for 24-7 365 care
15 hrs a day 6 days a week at min wage after all taxes et paid is $5,000 a week
IF you must be awakened all night is neraly $7,000 a month, at min wage!
Yes, there is a dependency going on, but maybe I'm in the minority, but I believe it's possible to get this lady to actually pay.
I'm in a similar situation with my parents, and I plan to see an elder-law attorney, and get a genuine Caregiving Contract, which I will bring to my parents, and we can review it all together, and have them see, the True Value of all that I do for them.
This includes:
24/7/365 being On Call for their emergencies (personal and things like sump pumps overflowing)
Making their Doctor appointments
Driving them to doctor, in my own car
Physically getting them into the doctor's office building with their walkers & making sure they don't fall on the icey sidewalks, or get run over by younger folks who don't give a damn about old folks
Taking notes at the doctors, asking pertinent questions,
RELAYING all of the above info to the lazy out of town sibs who could really care less about their parents
Make nutritious home-cooked meals, 12 at a time, put them into Glad containers and deliver every Sunday,
Sit and eat with them several times per week, make conversation
Clean up their kitchen, bathroom, do laundry, change bed linens
Pick up prescriptions, explain prescriptions, fill their Pill Minders
Call them to see if new prescription has had any side effects
Rush over there when they don't answer the phone
DOCUMENT the heck out of all activities I do for and with my parents, because you never know when those lazy out of town sibs might decide that I'm obviously taking advantage of the parents.....yes they might have bought me an ice cream cone or cookie, whaddaya gonna do about it? cry?
Etc Etc Etc
Unjust enrichment
Five elements must be proved to make a case of unjust enrichment: (1) an enrichment; (2) an impoverishment; (3) a connection between the enrichment and the impoverishment; (4) absence of justification for the enrichment and the
impoverishment and (5) an absence of a remedy provided by law.
Care giving responsibilities are challenging and time-consuming. It is important to understand
that careg iving can also have serious financial consequences. Women continue to be the primary
caregivers and are therefore at even greater risk of experiencing financial set-backs.
Some of the financial consequences of caregiving are obvious. Women often will decide to work
part-time, stop working, decline a promotion requiring longer hours or pass up a job or training
opportunity requiring travel. Women making these compromises at work often forfeit pay and benefits, miss out on opportunities for compounded returns on 401(k) matching contributions,and experience reduced savings and investments. There are also more subtle consequences.
They may even experience an inability to pay for home improvements that could increase the resale value of a residence, or to pursue additional education and degrees that could increase their earning power.
It is also important to remember that becoming a
caregiver can happen at any time, but often it may
happen as you are nearing retirement. Even older
adults who feel financially prepared for their own
retirement may suddenly find themselves
unprepared to manage the costs of
care giving.
If you are a caregiver, or expect you may
be one some day, it is important that you
take the necessary steps to avoid
compromising your own future financial
security.
A 2011 study showed that caregivers lost $303,880 in wages, Social Security benefits, and private pensions as a result of care giving responsibilities So is there a human cost to estate planning; yes there is…. It can be minimized if there is harmony in the family and the choices of individuals to serve roles (e.g. executor, trustee) are good choices. But if there is not, or there is a bad actor influencing the situation, the cost can indeed be a high one am constantly amazed at the greed shown by family members towards each other. Although I have been in practicing thirty years now with substantial experience in trust, probate and estate litigation, I have seen no change in the willingness of one or more family members to short-change another family member.
You would like to think in life that we will be rewarded for a job well done,sacrifices made to allow a loved one remain in her own home surrounded by family until the last 4 months of her life will be appreciated and respected. her expressed desire and goal being to preserve the trust thus make my sacrifice not without a future reward and a secure future, not to face a fiscal cliff and reality of years of Soc security contributions made.
The employment status of the caregiver can have a drastic effect on the entire family unit. A working caregiver can "incur significant losses in career development, salary and retirement income, and substantial out-of-pocket expenses as a result of their care giving obligations."'
The average loss of wealth experienced by caregivers is estimated to be "substantial, averaging $659,139 over the lifetime."'
In 1997 it was found that the stress of caring for an aging friend or relative resulted in one-tenth of the caregivers giving up work permanently.
The caregiver needs to show by “clear and convincing evidence,” a higher than normal standard, “that the transfer was not the product of fraud, duress, or undue influence.”
If the caregiver can show that the gift's size is no greater than it would have been before he or she became the caregiver, then he or she can overcome the presumptions.
The employment status of the caregiver can have a drastic effect on the entire family unit. A working caregiver can "incur significant losses in career development, salary and retirement income, and substantial out-of-pocket expenses as a result of their caregiving obligations."'
The average loss of wealth experienced by caregivers is estimated to be "substantial, averaging $659,139 over the lifetime."'
In 1997 it was found that the stress of caring for an aging friend or relative resulted in one-tenth of the caregivers giving up work permanently. under the "mutuality of benefits" policy, a child who has always lived with his or her parents will have a harder time proving that the services were not rendered gratuitously than a child who has lived separately from the parent and returned home to render care.
Look to contract theory in determining whether a
family member will be compensated for providing services to an elder relative in need. Generally, a contract to will property in exchange for services is valid and enforceable."
' The Uniform Probate Code provides:
"[a] contract to make a will or devise. can be established
only by,
(1) provisions of a will stating material provisions of the
contract;
(2) an express reference in a will to a contract and extrinsic
evidence proving the terms of the contract; or
(3) a writing signed by the decedent evidencing the contract."'
2 The Georgia Supreme Court also recognized that contracts to will property have been upheld in America from the earliest times and the validity of these contracts seem to be beyond all doubt." 3 However, this general rule does not hold true in all situations.
Contracts to will property in exchange for services are also valid and enforceable when they concern family members,"
4 but there is an additional hurdle to overcome when dealing with such situations.
The presumption may be rebutted by sufficient evidence of a contract, express or implied, to negate any presumption that the services were performed gratuitously.
Estate of Jesmer v. Rohlev, 241 Ill. App. 3d 798, 803, 609 N.E.2d 816, 820 (1993).
The amount of evidence sufficient to rebut the presumption of gratuity depends on the facts of each case;
the presumption diminishes in direct proportion to the remoteness of the degree and character of the family relationship and the character of the duties performed
If the caregiver can show that the gift's size is no greater than it would have been before he or she became the caregiver, then he or she can overcome the presumption.
"Statutory Custodial Claim"
Effective January 1, 1989, a new Section 18-1.1 was added to the Probate Act.
The "Statutory Custodial Claim" was enacted to remedy the injustice of family members who rendered services and then were unable to prove the agreement with the Decedent or the value of the services.
One of a list of enumerated family members who dedicates himself or herself to the care of a disabled person by living with and personally caring for the disabled person for at least three years is entitled to a claim against the Estate upon the death of the disabled person.
The decision on the claim shall take into consideration the Claimant's lost employment opportunities, lost lifestyle opportunities, and emotional distress experienced as a result of personally caring for the disabled person.
You cannot take advantage of someone just because you can, saying I never made any contract with Joe to paint my house or fix my fence or my roof, but I will continue to allow it, expect it, even demand it and just be a sponge ,not compensate him, alleging, I never said I would pay anyone!
An implied contract was made and accepted as evidenced by the continued acceptance and enjoyment of the consideration provided.
I have seen this several times, usually it is due to strokes and major personality changes, other times narcisstic personality of the mothers can magnify or without any reservation says or does terrible things to get even, promising eventual payment via a trust that in all likelihood is actually a "stale" AB trust
if her husbands died already, 9 of 10 abusers will breach their fiduciary duties to the trust and disenfranchise the beneficiaries of the now irrevocable B trust! Al while acting as if she has the say so for the entire estate and plays care givers who have become dependent financially like a fiddle.
evil hired caregivers love a situation as this.
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