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My dad died over 20 years ago. Before he died, he had only been retired 2-3 years. During that time, he ordered five huge dollhouse kits to assembly and gift to any of the “future female grandchildren”. When he died, my mother insisted that these go to my sister (because I never had children). My sister came and got them and they have been sitting in storage ever since. About 3 weeks ago, my sister rediscovered them and offered them to the 3 female grandchildren, they did not want them because they are now too old for “children’s toys”. My sister called our mother and wanted to know if she wanted them back. Now my mom wants me to rent a van, drive three state over and collect these doll house and then assembly/paint/furnish them for her. My mom does not have room for any of these and I do not have access to any space where I could assembly these. I’ve never been any good at model building or wood working. I’ve told her “no” firmly but she doesn’t want these to go to waste. I can’t think of anything else to say to her or explain to her that would make this make sense to her. Suggestions?

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Tell her no for the same reasons you listed here. Mother can donate them to someone who could use them.
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I would offer to donate them to your states prison system. Crafts are an essential part of rehabilitation, and getting these things would be a privilege to people whom, let’s face it, will eventually be among us.
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sp19690 Aug 2022
Lol the states prison system. This cracks me up. Crafts aren't going to pay the bills when they get out of jail.
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Sell them on Ebay? Explain to everyone that your home is not the family storage unit. Ignore their protests .Dig a trench and hunker down. They don't hear you but eventually they will. Don't give in.
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Tell your sister to donate them. Tell mom you will not be picking them up.
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I would investigate the cost of shipping the kits to your area. That would be a lot quicker and probably less tiresome. Or if you can find a woodworking group (as suggested below), they might be willing to come and get them. Personally, as someone who admires woodworking, I'd get dimensions and either hire a van or pay to have them delivered (assuming the kits are still in good condition).

1. Senior centers and some communities have woodworking groups. Some are for anyone, others are devoted to seniors. My father's senior center has a 501(c)(3) classification for its fundraising events.

A senior center woodworking group could (a) assemble and sell the dollhouses at a fundraising event, and (b) also create their own plans (assuming there's no patent or other IP (Intellectual property) restrictions), and continue to build them for sale.

My father's Senior Center has various fundraising events which are 501(c)(3) qualified. Can you imagine the excitement of a child to have a hand assembled house made by local woodworkers?

2. There are also various woodworking groups or clubs (in my area) which might be interested in assembling the kits, and donating them as well.

I have a collection of woodworking magazines, as this craft interests me as well. There are typically photos in each magazine of items made by woodworkers (male and female), and they are of very, very high quality.

I think a donation would be a great way to use these kits.
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Tell your sister to list them on Facebook Marketplace after she takes some good photos, and offer local pickup. Shipping such large items is just too cost prohibitive. She can send mom the money. Money is a great silencer, for most people.

You tell mom NO, you're simply not going to rent a van and go thru all that hoopla for these dollhouses. Sorry, that just doesn't work for me, ma. Keep practicing your NO word until it rolls off your tongue easily and naturally.
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Donate to a children's hospital?
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JoAnn29 Aug 2022
They need to be assembled, painted, and furnished.
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You need to tell sister it is time for the Talk.
The one on what she brings up to mom.
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What a shame these doll houses didnt get used all these years. Driving 3 hours for these is just ridiculous. Tell mom no. Ask sister to donate somewhere and move on. Its a lost opportunity no one will get back but it may make some fantastic memories for a child.
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Why isn't your mother dealing directly with your sister re the dollhouses? Why isn't she telling your sister to bring them?
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Mysteryshopper Aug 2022
In my experience, the sib with no kids is assumed to have ALL kinds of time for these sorts of projects. For years, I was approached with little (and big) jobs to do because "Billie has the kids to care for - she's too busy. Here, you do it." I was then trying to navigate the problem and having to choose between putting my foot down.... or just keeping the peace by allowing myself to be put in the middle of the issue while Billie cared for her family. I have found people make a LOT of assumptions on what others can and should be doing. One's parental status is only part of what makes a person. That's what I think may be happening here.
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Jhalldenton, yes I can relate to an old dollhouse. When I was 4 years old my Dad built me a two sided dollhouse matching the floorplan of the house we were living in. I got years of enjoyment since way back then it was easy to find furniture and "people" to live in that dollhouse. When I got older it stayed in my parents basement for decades.

Then that dollhouse stayed in my basement for 30 years. I was going to give it to my sig-other's grown children if one had baby girl. Once the child was old enough to play with a dollhouse, she wanted a Barbie dollhouse. So there went that idea as Barbie was way too big for my dollhouse.

Eventually I had to toss it away as years of it sitting in the basement had its toll on the wood. Plus finding doll house furniture and doll house figurines were impossible to find.
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If mom just does not want them to "go to waste" I suggest that you contact a local Hospice. Find out if they have a Volunteer that does this type of thing and they can gift it to a pediatric Hospice Patient.
Or contact your local Children's Hospital and find out if they would have use for it. Either as an In House toy/display or to gift to a child.
If you do not want to bring them to your place to do this you sister can do the same where she lives and put the donation in your Mom and Dad's names.
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These are unassembled

"Now my mom wants me to rent a van, drive three state over and collect these doll house and then assembly/paint/furnish them for her"

I got with sister putting them up on a local Facebook yardsale site or Market Place. I just shipped a small box that held a blouse and a few odds and ends and weighted hardly anything and it cost me $10. I can't imagine what dollhouse kits would cost. Sell them. Your Mom should not expect someone who has never done things like this to do so. Lots of work and an expense and she wants 5 of them? Don't think Mom understands the time and cost involved.
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Tell her the doll houses were donated to several:
--Children Hospitals, or
--Children museums and now on display, or
--Preschools and kids love them, or
--Orphanages (if she still thinks those exist), or
--Sold, then give your mom some money if she asks. It will be way cheaper than what she wants you to do, AND having to listen to her nagging until you go insane.

Then, do what you or sister want with them. Put them on freecycle.org, nextdoor.com, or craigslist.org for free. Somebody might want a DIY project with their kids.
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This whole thing reminds me of when fil had one of his hospitalizations. Visits were still timed bc of covid, so SO went and got this handmade wooden ship for him to look at.

The ILs had been in the hospital so often then that they both started looking at it as their personal Marriott. FIL decided he did not like the view and insisted on moving rooms and that the ship had to be removed for “safekeeping.” Brothers Wife got SO to go down there for another visit for Dear Old Dad. The ship came back to our house, at which point his parents said they were completely uninterested in it.
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My parents bought a dollhouse for my DD and hubs spent hours putting it together. We recently gave it to her BF for her daughter. I think the kits can be sold to someone,, and you have no need to pick them up. Or donate them to a childrens home. Or honestly to a MC,, my dad loved to do this sort of thing in his MC., but they were a good one who kept the residents occupied. or a senior center
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Tell her NO!
and that’s that!
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If sister did not want the Doll Houses to go to waste, she shoulda, coulda, woulda usd them in a time appropriate manner instead of storing them all these years maybe.

Ask her to continue to store them a bit longer until you can figure out what to do?

Do not bring it up to Mom again, except to say sister wants to keep them.
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Sell them in kit form.
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