Grandmother not wanting to eat. Advice?

Elders often lose the drive first to drink, then to eat. They also can develop swallow deficits. It is quite amazing that we need almost nothing in last years to sustain life. But the loss in muscle mass can set us back and be the beginning of the end. It may be time to consider what grandmother would want in heroic measures, in palliative care, in end of life care, in hospice. Time to have frank discussions with her if she is competent to do so. Sweet tooth should be used to do things like sweet potatoes with a marshmellow on top, jellos with fruits, anything sweet you can think of. Good luck. I would not force eating or make it an issue. At the end of life it can become torture, not life sustaining.

Sorry to hear about your grandmother. Not eating may be a sign of the last stages of life. Check with her doctor, but do not force food or drinks into her.

About three weeks before my mother passed away at 95, she picked at small amounts of food that often got stuck in her esophagus. Family and I would gently pat her back to move it down to her stomach.

Please seek out a grief therapist.............every book comes to an end.

When people begin the long process of withdrawing from life, food is often the first thing to go. I'm not saying your grandma is there yet, but when we wind down, we start leaving the daily activities of living. Eating, then staying awake, then talking…it's like little steps away from the things that keep us connected to this life.

It can often be harmful for someone to eat more than they feel comfortable eating. In a lot of cases, the elderly don't need much to stay alive. If she likes sweets, sweets it is! I tell my mom she gets to eat and drink whatever she wants without regard for health these days. Your grandma may have pain on digesting, or she might choke on food and aspirated it and get pneumonia.

If she's still "with it," try to be respectful of her wishes, even if it seems they're hurting her. If she does have dementia, I'm sorry to say that's a terminal condition, and not eating contributes to the dying process. There's not much you can do in that case.

But you might want to talk with your mom about how to make grandma feeling the happiest and most loved at this time of her life without worrying about calories, you know? We all die eventually, and I wouldn't want my last memories to be of my loved ones irritated or distressed with me because I wasn't eating well. Take care, sweetheart. Let us know how she does.

Sweet flavors stay with someone longer than other tastes. You could try "sweetening" more of her foods. Pour maple syrup on foods you might not expect to be sweetened, like meat, vegetables etc It's actually quite good.

Her sense of smell and taste may have diminished due to Covid but this also happens with age. The ability to smell food is what makes you want to eat. The production of saliva also diminishes which makes it difficult to swallow sometimes. As a person gets older the number of taste buds diminishes and others start to shrink. You could try using a blender to make sweet slushes mixing fruits and vegetables and see if she will drink them. The taste of sweet is what most elderly people enjoy. If she has dry mouth you can try hard candy such as lemon drops or suckers if she will accept these. Good luck on this journey with your loved one.

Ensure, boost, protein drinks, milkshakes. You can keep her weight up on a liquid diet. Just make sure she’s at 1500+ calories.

Maybe I’m wrong, but seems I read somewhere that COVID can cause lack of smell and desire to eat. It makes food have no taste? Just sayin’

My mom loves sweet and never did before-when she was younger in her 60, 70’s. We tried a sampling of Ensures and found she loves, loves, loves the Strawberry flavor. It is a wonderful meal replacement so we use that for her snack meal and sometimes she has room for a fig newton-we call that a win! Another thing, for the water, she will drink Propel Electrolyte. It is sweet and actually makes her thirsty. We put a straw in it because she drinks more with a straw (easier to swallow). We have 2 set up every day and she is good about drinking those since they are out and ready. Also, when we sit with her, we hand it to her and give her a mark to drink to. Sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn’t. My husband felt that she tasted sweet and would give her Thai food. She would eat that, for sure. I have 2 caregivers who are with her for 2 meals and she is good about eating for them and if she will not, there is ensure or a yogurt with a cookie. My mom is 86 and this has been a 3 year learning period that continues…..

When I was caring for my Daddy, I would cook whatever he ordered. He didn't like the taste of the food even though I have been cooking for him since I was 12. He had always added salt to his food and as he declined he even added more. I learned that the older people get the less they can taste things. One of the things they can taste is salt. When it came to his last two weeks of life he would barely eat anything. I would cook his favorite go to comfort food and he did not want it. This was my experience. Blessings to you and yours!