Grandmother not wanting to eat. Advice?

"she gravitates more towards sweets so trying that"

this is typical.
taste buds die, and food seems tasteless - but sweets have a stronger flavor, so people crave sweets.

i hope soon your grandmother will eat more :).

Thank you to everyone for the helpful suggestions. Wanted to mention that it's easy to assume in situations but you never really know what is going on. I'm seeing alot of comments saying I'm "forcing" my grandmother to stay alive or not "honoring" her wishes. My dad just recently died and I'm well aware how things end. I know my grandmother will die soon if her eating doesn't improve which is why mostly my mom is trying her best to help. But we both know what the outcome will be. My grandmother has not expressed she wants to die which is why we have still tried helping her, if she expresses this then her life is in her hands. Before you make statements and assume really think as you don't know what people are going through behind the scenes.

reg1234: Perhaps she needs to see a nutritionist.

Consider medical marijuana to calm her and stimulate her appetite.

Be careful with hard candy, because that could choke someone.

Her sense of smell and taste may have diminished due to Covid but this also happens with age. The ability to smell food is what makes you want to eat. The production of saliva also diminishes which makes it difficult to swallow sometimes. As a person gets older the number of taste buds diminishes and others start to shrink. You could try using a blender to make sweet slushes mixing fruits and vegetables and see if she will drink them. The taste of sweet is what most elderly people enjoy. If she has dry mouth you can try hard candy such as lemon drops or suckers if she will accept these. Good luck on this journey with your loved one.

Please seek out a grief therapist.............every book comes to an end.

When I was caring for my Daddy, I would cook whatever he ordered. He didn't like the taste of the food even though I have been cooking for him since I was 12. He had always added salt to his food and as he declined he even added more. I learned that the older people get the less they can taste things. One of the things they can taste is salt. When it came to his last two weeks of life he would barely eat anything. I would cook his favorite go to comfort food and he did not want it. This was my experience. Blessings to you and yours!

Hi. Does Grandma take vitamins? There is an appetite stimulate also. You can start with her favorites. Freeze ensure or other supplements. Little things like peanut butter crackers. Is there a time of day when she is hungry? I mix fruit and/or vegetables with everything to get those nutrients in wherever I can. Baby food is also good. Best wishes.

Do what she wants . Allowing her to " accept" or " reject" treatments, including food and eating is all a part of honoring her " patient rights".
It creates more anxiety for her and you folks trying to force or insist that she eat or what she eats. See what the PCP assessment re dementia shows. At her age and the medical history you describe she may be declining more or she may be grieving her condition and fearful of the future. You may want to be sure that she is being seen weekly by her faith leader of choice or a local chaplain for spiritual and emotional support; this may also help you, the family. You all should practice good self care also !!
If she continues not to eat , you may want to tell the PCP that you want her assessed by hospice for potential hospice care; hospice is about living with a life limiting illness not dying and, it ( hospice) may at some point provide good support for her and you folks, the family. You can also contact a hospice of your choice to just get more information and talk with them about the observed changes and history of her health.

Take some self care time.

My mom loves sweet and never did before-when she was younger in her 60, 70’s. We tried a sampling of Ensures and found she loves, loves, loves the Strawberry flavor. It is a wonderful meal replacement so we use that for her snack meal and sometimes she has room for a fig newton-we call that a win! Another thing, for the water, she will drink Propel Electrolyte. It is sweet and actually makes her thirsty. We put a straw in it because she drinks more with a straw (easier to swallow). We have 2 set up every day and she is good about drinking those since they are out and ready. Also, when we sit with her, we hand it to her and give her a mark to drink to. Sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn’t. My husband felt that she tasted sweet and would give her Thai food. She would eat that, for sure. I have 2 caregivers who are with her for 2 meals and she is good about eating for them and if she will not, there is ensure or a yogurt with a cookie. My mom is 86 and this has been a 3 year learning period that continues…..

Sweet flavors stay with someone longer than other tastes. You could try "sweetening" more of her foods. Pour maple syrup on foods you might not expect to be sweetened, like meat, vegetables etc It's actually quite good.

Maybe I’m wrong, but seems I read somewhere that COVID can cause lack of smell and desire to eat. It makes food have no taste? Just sayin’

At this point, give her foods that she will eat. It’s usually something sweet. Try infusing fruits and vegetables (baby food) in a smoothie. I bought some vanilla protein powder (at 150 calories a scoop), added one cup of rice milk (because of milk allergies), a hand full of mixed greens, blueberries, a small banana, and ice cubes in a glass blender. It’s one of the few things my former brother-in-law could/would eat for two years before he could no longer swallow. He liked pudding too. He lived another two years on a feeding tube in the nursing home. Another person I know ate mostly donuts, milkshakes, candy, and pasta at the end of her life. My Sisters MIL eats like a bird as well, but still manages to keep going at almost 95. A little exercise and the right medication/supplements may help to stimulate her appetite. Best of luck!

Sorry to hear about your grandmother. Not eating may be a sign of the last stages of life. Check with her doctor, but do not force food or drinks into her.

About three weeks before my mother passed away at 95, she picked at small amounts of food that often got stuck in her esophagus. Family and I would gently pat her back to move it down to her stomach.

When people begin the long process of withdrawing from life, food is often the first thing to go. I'm not saying your grandma is there yet, but when we wind down, we start leaving the daily activities of living. Eating, then staying awake, then talking…it's like little steps away from the things that keep us connected to this life.

It can often be harmful for someone to eat more than they feel comfortable eating. In a lot of cases, the elderly don't need much to stay alive. If she likes sweets, sweets it is! I tell my mom she gets to eat and drink whatever she wants without regard for health these days. Your grandma may have pain on digesting, or she might choke on food and aspirated it and get pneumonia.

If she's still "with it," try to be respectful of her wishes, even if it seems they're hurting her. If she does have dementia, I'm sorry to say that's a terminal condition, and not eating contributes to the dying process. There's not much you can do in that case.

But you might want to talk with your mom about how to make grandma feeling the happiest and most loved at this time of her life without worrying about calories, you know? We all die eventually, and I wouldn't want my last memories to be of my loved ones irritated or distressed with me because I wasn't eating well. Take care, sweetheart. Let us know how she does.

Elders often lose the drive first to drink, then to eat. They also can develop swallow deficits. It is quite amazing that we need almost nothing in last years to sustain life. But the loss in muscle mass can set us back and be the beginning of the end. It may be time to consider what grandmother would want in heroic measures, in palliative care, in end of life care, in hospice. Time to have frank discussions with her if she is competent to do so. Sweet tooth should be used to do things like sweet potatoes with a marshmellow on top, jellos with fruits, anything sweet you can think of. Good luck. I would not force eating or make it an issue. At the end of life it can become torture, not life sustaining.

My mother had no appetite during her later years of life. She said that she knew that she had to eat but simply wasn’t hungry. She only took a bite here and there of food.

Try smoothies. Sometimes, they drink more than eating plates of food.

If my mom saw a large plate of food, she would say, “Oh, that’s too much!” Serve her food on a small lunch portion plate.

Ensure, boost, protein drinks, milkshakes. You can keep her weight up on a liquid diet. Just make sure she’s at 1500+ calories.