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I’ve been noticing that I have developed a fear of doctors and medical offices when it comes to taking care of my own health.



I guess sitting in an office with the doctor who was giving the results of my husband’s dire diagnosis was not helpful. He was yelling at us that we needed to leave town immediately for Seattle to start treatment because it was that bad!



From there it was all the late night emergencies where I had to drive my husband in the middle of the night to the ER in a strange city and in the middle of Covid. I almost wasn’t allowed to be with him in the ER. Then getting lost in the big city trying to drive back to our apartment alone because my husband had to be admitted. It was stressful.



Then it was waiting on all the results of the bone marrow biopsies- so far 8 or 9. Also waiting for all the blood test results every week to see what all the cells were doing.



It does a number on your head. I’m beginning to fear that my own health may not be good. I have to go in and get checked out but it’s creating quite a bit of anxiety.



I know I need some counseling and I have had plenty before.



Anyway it’s another issue that just complicates everything.

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I am so glad you recognize the need for professional help. You are right. And you are far from alone.
I would never have been strong enough to be in home caregiver to anyone 24/7, but I did manage my brother's Trust as Trustee and I was his POA. Just getting all of that together from half the state away made me so anxious I thought my eye tic was permanent. I was jumpy. I was afraid. And I will be so honest as to say it has, at 80, left me less strong. I learned a lot. I did a great job, and now it is over. I can recognize and appreciate that, BUT, it has made me a bit more "fearful" of everything from airline flights (which I had cancelled until I thought I'd go nuts) of finances and documentation, of loss of my partner and what that would mean. To say nothing of the tech that keeps passing us by as we age. It has in some ways made me stronger, but in some ways there is--just as you observed--a PTSD that persists.
I wish you the best and my heart goes out to you.
(And here's just how nutty it can get. Sometimes I lay in bed awaiting sleep saying "spell world backwards" or "subtract by 7s from 100", and etc. Hee hee. It is both funny and NOT).
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Christine44 Jun 2022
I waited to comment on your post (the last one as of writing right now) as I couldn't hold back. Lynn's mention of a doctor yelling at her and her husband made me so angry I would have launched into a major rant -- as I have been through this. But that's not what she needs to hear. On that point, however, I'll just say this: in my humble opinion if a doctor starts yelling at you, I'd say: 1) get away from him/her asap IF it's possible; 2) do not waste time "reporting" this MD to any professional body; such entities, like most professional or oversight bodies are basically "self-policed" (I believe) and nothing will happen to the doctor you report. Public health bodies (i.e. at the state level) are another possible avenue to explore for "reporting" a doctor, but I wouldn't hold my breath on any consequences from this tactic.

Your comment about "the tech that keeps passing us by as we age" caught my eye. I have been trying since January to purchase a new laptop which I absolutely need. After a TON of research, I finally bought a new one at a major retailer and was so excited to turn it on so I wouldn't have to keep borrowing one from a library. I never got to first base, meaning it simply wouldn't turn on -- and this was from one of the two major manufacturers of laptops. The retailer refused to give me back my total purchase price -- they wanted to keep $300 -- but after a major 3-month battle which involved dozens of pages of documents faxed to my bank, accusing the retailer of fraud, I finally prevailed. (I'm still using a borrowed laptop from the library). Smartphones are another story -- and we need these, like the computer, for medical related questions/appointments, etc. I'll not go into my experience in that realm but I'll just say this, again based on personal experience: you have to be VERY cautious in putting any new software on your phones (aka "software updates"). If you're unsure of what the update will do to the phone, or whether your phone is new enough to handle the update, just say no.
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Yes.   Several years ago after my sister died of metastatic breast cancer, I did a bit of research on how stress affected caregivers.    The results were very interesting, and somewhat unsettling, and unfortunately no longer available at the original sites.

Those who had provided caregiving had IL-6 levels significantly higher for individuals of the same age who hadn't cared for someone.

This addresses the new nomenclature:

"PTSD and DSM-5
In 2013, the American Psychiatric Association revised the PTSD diagnostic criteria in the fifth edition of its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5; 1). PTSD is included in a new category in DSM-5, Trauma- and Stressor-Related Disorders. All of the conditions included in this classification require exposure to a traumatic or stressful event as a diagnostic criterion."

https://www.ptsd.va.gov/professional/treat/essentials/dsm5_ptsd.asp

I have also read that it's referred to not as PTSD but PTSS (Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome), which makes sense b/c it seems to function more as a syndrome than a disorder.  I would argue that this kind of experience, just like that in wartime, isn't a syndrome; it's more of a body's response to conditions for which we never really acclimated.   I yield, however, to those with medical and/or psychiatric experience.
  
One of the very interesting aspects of the earlier literature was the comparison of IL-6 in noncaregiving individuals to those who had cared for someone for  a significant length of time.  

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC166443/

" Caregivers' average rate of increase in IL-6 was about four times as large as that of noncaregivers." and

"These data provide evidence of a key mechanism through which chronic stressors may accelerate risk of a host of age-related diseases by prematurely aging the immune response."  (kind of scary, isn't it?)

and

"A growing body of evidence has implicated caregiving as a risk factor for health. Compared with noncaregivers, men and women who provide care to a spouse with a stroke or dementia report more infectious illness episodes (1), they have poorer immune responses to influenza virus and pneumococcal pneumonia vaccines (2–4), their wounds heal more slowly (5), they are at greater risk for developing mild hypertension (6, 7), and they may be at greater risk for coronary heart disease (8). Moreover, a prospective longitudinal study found that the relative risk for all-cause mortality among strained caregivers was 63% higher than noncaregiving controls (9)."  (Numbers in parentheses refer to citations in the article.

This addresses only spousal caring for those with stroke or dementia; there are obviously a lot of other caregiving situations besides these two.

Not good; we caregivers have to take extra special care of ourselves.
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poodledoodle Jun 2022
I agree with all your research.

Also this:
“we caregivers have to take extra special care of ourselves.”

I’ll add:
In fact the less you care, the “better off” you are: financially, emotionally, physically.

The more heartless you are, the better you’ll do in this world. Stepping on others, getting richer; selfishly just thinking about your own life.

But:
We’ll all prove them wrong. As someone else posted: let’s show them it’s not a disadvantage to be kind: let’s “win” against the jerks of the world.
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Thank you for the helpful answers. I totally agree with all that you said. I definitely have aged 10 years. I used to look about 15 years younger than my actual age. Can’t say that anymore. I also had to have my toe treated for an infection. Never ever had problems in my feet before but it’s because I’m doing all the yard work for my husband- climbing ladders and being on riding mowers at age 64. I slightly injured my toe and now it’s got a staph or strep deal going on.

Anyway I tried to make an
appointment to see a doc for a checkup but there will be a delay because I’m a new patient and I have to have my records sent. I also signed up for an online therapist. We will see how that works. I wanted to see a somatic therapist because I’ve done talk therapy and EMDR and frankly it didn’t do a whole lot for me so I wanted to try a different approach.

Thanks for letting me unload. It’s been helpful.
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lealonnie1 Jun 2022
Lynn; for what it's worth, nothing but Paxil helped me thru my bout with PTSD. Praying didn't get me thru it, talk therapy didn't get me thru it, only meds. THEN the praying and talk therapy were effective, but not until the meds kicked in and cleared my hyper sensitive head out to where I could stop crying long enough to sleep, eat, etc.
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Yes, and yes and did I mention, yes. If everyone is totally honest, you cannot be impacted by caregiving and some bodies and minds are not as good dealing with that trauma as others. Therapy is a good thing to help process caregiving stresses.
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You have been overwhelmed by anxiety but it's not PTSD. People don't become a psychiatrist by navigating the Internet or by reading the DSM-5.
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poodledoodle Jun 2022
“People don't become a psychiatrist by navigating the Internet or by reading the DSM-5.”

I see your point. But psychiatrists make many mistakes as well, mis-diagnosing a lot (throughout history and now too). We shouldn’t have too much faith in them.

And some things (like feeling traumatized, worried, stressed) are common sense. You don’t need a doctor to tell you, you’ve been traumatized, etc.

Some non-medical people are wiser than medical people: not only about the correct diagnosis, but the correct/good way out of it.
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PTSD can indeed be induced by a wide variety of situations. Do not pay attention to anyone telling you that "People don't become a psychiatrist by navigating the Internet or by reading the DSM-5." which is rude & uncalled for, not to mention an absolute diagnosis by someone on the internet who's unqualified to make such a diagnosis.

When I met my biological family in 2000, I was diagnosed with PTSD afterward. And I hadn't even met them in person yet, just over the phone! Paxil helped me tremendously, by the way.

PTSD can come about from a wide variety of situations, including an anxiety provoking caregiving situation that's gone on for a long period of time! I have a good friend who's suffering from this exact situation and medicated for it by her PCP.

There is also something called CPTSD or Chronic PTSD which you should Google and read about; it's associated with chronic, ongoing trauma vs a single event that leads to PTSD.

Definitely see your doctor to talk about this situation in further detail.

Best of luck!
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Lynn64 Jun 2022
Thanks for your support I appreciate it. I wouldn’t mind doing the antidepressants but I have tried to go on them and just had too many side effects plus I didn’t like having all my emotions be flat lined but I can see your point. Therapy hasn’t really helped me very much.

I am extremely sensitive- actually I’ve been called an Empath. I think the stuff I’ve been through with my husband- it really has affected me.

I’ve been taking something called Rescue Remedy and something called Calm by Highland and they have worked wonders and they have kept me from freaking out.It’s all homeopathic. Plus I’m heavily into qigong practice - been taking many workshops and working with a qigong master. Also doing something called EFT. Everything has helped to a certain degree but it’s been nice to get the support of all of you. That has really helped too so thank you!
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First I hope you gave that doctor an earful for yelling at you.
The LAST thing anyone needs in a stressful situation is to be yelled at.

You do need to talk to someone about what is going on. Someone that you can open up to, express your fears to without judgement.
Call YOUR doctor. Make an appointment if you need to. Explain the situation and ask that they refer you to a therapist. You might even want to contact the American Cancer Society and see if they could refer you to someone or a Support Group that might be helpful. Talking to people that KNOW what you are going through helps a lot.
Unfortunately so many caregivers put off their own appointments because they are are busy caring for someone else. You can not afford to do that, what happens to him if you get sick? Who cares for both of you?
(and 2 years of delayed appointments because of COVID makes making an appointment even more difficult. {just a side note to show how delayed...., I had surgery in January and my "post op" appointment has been changed again until June 21!})
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Lynn64 Jun 2022
Yes that doctor was something else. It’s bad enough to be told that you have some dreaded disease but then he goes on to tell you that you only have months to live and you better leave now if you want any chance of survival and yes he was yelling this at us. I told my husband that we were not going back to that doctor ever again! My husband was so laid back that he didn’t care one way or the other but I just didn’t want to be subjected to that again. The thought of it brings me back to that day and it’s a nightmare to re- live it.

Yeah Covid has made things really difficult. When my husband was having complications- couldn’t get him in to see someone for a colonoscopy. It was at least a month out. I had to force my husband into the ER and then they were able to do the procedure the next day. Good thing he was seen because he was having a good case of graft vs host disease which can be lethal if left unchecked and even when they are monitoring it- it can still take out a person.

I am going to get myself checked out
but I’m hoping I can get a therapy session in before I have to do it because it won’t be easy. My friends tell me they give their burdens to God to get them through difficult times. I have been and will be doing that every single day. Thanks for your response.
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I’m not sure what diagnosis one would get for it, but I feel traumatized every time I visit my mother at her Memory Care.

The MC is lovely, but my mother’s negative outlook/depression/confusion/anxiety/bizarre questions/non-acceptance of logical answers, and on and on, feels like getting hit with an emotional 2x4. Every time I visit. It’s so very, very stressful.
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Caregiverstress Jun 2022
I understand. I had a friend that just couldn't do it anymore. She started going once every 2 weeks or so to check on her and make sure she was being cared for but other than that she had to mostly walk away. It's a terrible situation and often becomes a choice between their life or yours.
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If you think you have developed PTSD from a doctor that yelled at you, go ahead and try to hire a lawyer to sue the doctor for damages, No lawyer will take your case because they know more about PTSD than Goggle pseudo-psychiatrists..
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The book I am currently reading, a good one about a woman, now in 40s, quite brilliant, who begins to be distressed and ends with ab out a dozen different diagnoses is a good one. Often doctors throw out a word, closely followed by a vial of pills, and when that doesn't work another word, maybe several more, until one can look like a walking DSM 5. And a walking pill popper. I really recommend "Pathological, the True Story of Six Misdiagnoses.
I think the important thing is to avoid labels, perhaps. PTSD is something we can recognize in ourselves after trauma. The tendency to be triggered. The label is unimportant.
Caregivers suffer many things, anxiety, worry, hopelessness, guilt, desperation. And there is an after effect to this as well. Arguing words and labels doesn't help....the person is looking for relief, even for understanding and companionship by those who understand what they are experiencing.
Whatever we call it, we who have given care to others understand it exists, acknowledge it, and attempt to do the work to get through it, even to learn from it. Lynn,I sure do wish you good luck. I think you'll be fine. Along with the trauma you have learned a lot. The coin has two sides.
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Annie65 Jun 2022
Beautifully put - one if the best responses I have read on this forum. Thanks and prayers of strength and courage to all who suffer from stress of care giving - no matter what we call it -a very hard and exhausting job.
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Real PTSD is incurable. It's false that Paxil will cure it. There are millions of war veterans with real PTSD from who will be very happy to hear than somebody got cured with Paxil.
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NinjaWarrior3 Jun 2022
You CAN treat PTSD with a combination of Prolonged Exposure Therapy and EMDR Therapy. These therapies are quite successful, but most people do not seek them out.
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Yes! I experienced this. An ER doctor even stated what was happening to me was a form of PTSD. It’s been two years and I am better, but I still have a few reactive episodes. I completely understand this feeling.
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Yes, a combination of dealing with death and my mother.

Lost my husband, father & cousin (like a brother) all in five years, all from cancer.

I then had to deal with my nasty toxic mother.

I went to therapy, no pills, helped me work through the problem, basically I am ok today, still have some minor issues.

Seek help
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Distrust of doctors is warranted. The medical care delivery system is part of the problem. Care is fractured and splintered. This is my sad experience. I want to be healthy not only for myself, but also for the one I am caring for, my 99 year old mom. The right doctor IS out there that knows how to talk to you without increasing stress levels. (I luckily found one on a telehealth visit from an Urgent Care!) If your husband's particular disease has a foundation, that foundation will provide an incredible amount of support for you! (e.g., American Cancer Society or the LLS). My case manager provided me with Lyft rides to doctor appointments and arranges them. My County has various programs. These are stress busters by themselves.
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How did the original post turn into a stage for trashing psychiatry? That’s not helping the original poster.

Psychiatrists are medical doctors (DOs and MDs) who spent years in medical schools, internships, and residencies to be eligible to take medical and board exams to practice. Lots of brain power and resilience are required to become a psychiatrist. It is ok to believe psychiatry is not helpful to you, but trashing the whole profession only shows your lack of understanding of the world around you and reveal your ignorance to the world.

To the original poster: any doctor that yells at you is unprofessional and should be reported. And then find a new one. I have changed my doctors for less egregious behaviors.
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antie9 Jun 2022
I was a caregiver to my husband for many years. If I hadn't had a therapist to support me I would have had a breakdown. You can only speak to family so much without creating problems. You need a person who is there only for you. Take care of yourself! no one else will
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I don't know whether it is over-anxiety or PTSD....YES! Mine showed up when I was on vacation and I was getting texts about my Mom falling and how they wanted to put her on prescription drugs. My Mom is 99 years old and very sensitive to prescription drugs (life issue...which all of us siblings inherited). I called up my sister-in-law and she took care of the issue.

However, I had angst the entire trip.

When I got back home, my Mom seemed fine. All the workers in the MC unit said she is fine. No drugs. However, I was not fine.

Overtime, because I see my Mom nearly daily for a short time, my anxiety has lessened. Sheesh...
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You sound like you've developed a sort of 'phobia' about doctor visits, etc. You are weary of 'bad news' and the demands that may come with it. And you may wonder that if you are found to have a bad diagnosis who will look after you, as well as follow up with your responsibilities. All reasonable. When you go in for your checkup, let all the providers know you are dealing with your husband's illness and have high anxiety now yourself; they will factor this into your care. If you simply worry you could lower your immunity which is a setup for illness in yourself. You need to tap all possible support systems for yourself, even to the point of taking a trusted friend or relative to your own appointment, to help you manage your fears/anxiety. You have been on 'red alert' awhile so your nervous system is easily triggered; look into holistic and standard methods for dealing with anxiety so it doesn't get the better of you. And don't let anyone minimize your feelings because they are your body telling you that You need support too, to face the challenges in your life.
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Yes I would guess this is common. My husband felt a kind of PTSD after his mother died. It wasn’t the medical appointments , but watching her die. I think therapy is a good idea.
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Yes . When you start having panic attacks and are so burnt out from taking care of people . Yes
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Not to put a damper on things, but a lot of times, so I’ve been told, the caregiver dies before the person who is being cared for. Caretakers neglect their own health to help support the person whom they’re caring for. You MUST get yourself the help that your body is craving. Go to the doctor and see about your own health. I’m sorry that doctor yelled at you about going to Seattle, but get yourself checked ASAP! Learn how to meditate if you don’t already. Call the crisis hotline JUST to talk with someone. Monitor your own blood pressure with an at home monitor. Watch what you eat so that that won’t be a factor as well when it comes to dealing with your health and diabetes and other health ailments that come from terrible eating. Can you get outside in nature for at least a ten min walk??
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Last summer, I left Maine for Florida to "help" Mom with Dad's care. He was diagnosed with MDS and had a cancerous tumor on his kidney. I had to drive in Florida traffic to numerous doctors, rehab centers, hospitals, etc., in a totally unfamiliar city, so I know how that feels. Dad's health, both physical and mental, deteriorated rapidly and I soon found myself in the position of "mother" - bathing him, changing his diapers, helping him dress, trying to get him to eat - to a fully grown man who considered me a child. He passed away in November (2021), but I still get panic attacks if I have to go to a new doctor or pass the Ensure aisle.

PTSD is very real in care givers and you definitely need to see your doctor and bring a list of everything causing your anxiety. Your doctor may be able to recommend services for you and your husband to give you respite from some of the driving or caregiving chores. He may be able to give you something to take the edge off your anxiety (mine did and it was a Godsend! I could sleep again.)

Please take care of yourself. Good luck.
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The advantage of using the medical system, is that we are given the opportunities to take advantage of what has become curable in the world of medicine and we can then make our plans for fight or flight. If you never go, you are never given second chances.
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Cashew Jun 2022
I've really found no benefit from the "medical system" except for simple broken bones or needing stitches.
allopathic medicine is a HUGE destructive aspect of society and medical errors are the 3rd greatest killer
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You certainly have had an abundance of traumatic experiences related to your husband's illness. I think that perhaps wondering about what happens to him if you get sick is part of your anxiety. If you haven't already done so, I suggest you create a detailed contingency plan.
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Yes! Basically, you are under so much stress that your body can't produce enough serotonin to cover it. You are running on empty. By the time I went to my doctor, he looked at me and said, "I see someone who has about 50 thoughts swirling around over her head and they have no place to land".
First, he prescribed me a mild, but effective sleeping pill to help my body repair. I was only on it for 3 weeks so as not to build any kind of addiction; just let me body get some much needed sleep. Also, he put me on a serotonin uptake inhibitor. Basically, it helps your body build its own serotonin by blocking the stress hormones.
It was a life saver for me, and my dad's anxiety was so off the charts that I asked his doctor if he could be put on one too. I truly believe my dad lived a longer and more fulfilling life because of it. Whatever the side effects might be (we never suffered any), that outweighed my dad dying of a broken heart and anxiety. I hope this helps. My husband later asked me if I could tell if the SSRI's were working, and said, "I don't know. Do you think they are?". He said, "I like you when you're on medication". LOL So, it obviously helps. And I saw my Dad's anxiety go down too after I got him on them. They are a natural way to help your body adjust to being stressed.
During the time I was taking care of my dad, I was writing a column for the newspaper on being a caregiver. The article(s) that covered this subject were called "Breaking Bad: the caregiver on overload". I'm also turning all of my experience into a book. Being on the flip side of this, I joined this group to help others going through what I did.
I also pooled mine and his money together and hired a retired lady from a local church to come in and give me time away from caregiving. She was $10 an hour and became a part of the family. When my dad got to the point of needing 24/7 care, she moved in and took care of him for free room and board plus $300 a month, and anything else I could bless her with.
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Lynn64: Although one could get traumatized about visiting their physician, it's detrimental to one's health to do so. Of course even though you know this, it still occurs. Hugs sent.
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I remember the first time I visited a hospital emergency room after my mom's death. My hubs had a gall bladder attack and we had to go in. When I was sitting there in the waiting area it brought everything back. I felt this black fog taking over me. You know in book's when they describe this feeling like the room is getting smaller and smaller. That's the only way to describe it. In fact even just sitting in a dr.'s office waiting room brings me to a place I'd rather forget.

So no it's not unique to you Lynn. I wish I could give you advice on how to conquer it. Prayer helps me. If you are a believer ask God to shine his loving light upon you. Heck, even if you aren't a believer.
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Before my 73 yr old sister suddenly died last year of a blood clot, I thought that if we spoke again I’d ask her if it ever crossed her mind that we may have PTSD because of our crazy childhood.

In the 50's and 60's after dinner neighbors who live in apartment buildings would often lean on an open window sill to watch a stick ball game in the street or just listen to the sounds of the street, and from each other’s homes.

It wasn’t unusual to walk to school the next day with other kids & poke fun at each other about how we heard one of them hollering bloody murder the night before as their parents were giving them a beating with either a leather slipper or belt. “Franky, boy did you get it last night”. Everyone had a turn. We were all mostly first generation kids of struggling Polish, Italian, & French, survivors of WWII. Some of the parents had numbers tattooed on their arms & almost all were high strung. After a hard day of working in a sweat shop, or as a cab driver, etc. many of the kids were getting beatings as though they were adults. Blind rage was normal. I believe my father who fought & was wounded in Europe and my mother who had alcoholic parents as a child, lost them in her early teens, and then hid during the occupation had PTSD, and both acted out.

This October my husband and I will be married 28 years. I finally found my home in him. He was an admirable, beautiful man with a great heart, a solid guy with the best laugh I’ve ever, use to, hear. Somewhere between 15 - 20 ago my husband started showing signs of Alzheimers Disease. At first and for a long time I was very resentful that once again I was cheated. Early on our AD journey I was so deeply exhausted and burnt out I developed rheumatoid arthritis. I helped care for my in-laws, and I helped spell my sister with my parents before they died too.

I found my tough childhood made me a relentless investigator to find out how to manage my RA perfectly. The violence I sometimes dodged and sometimes received mercilessly toughened me up to deal with the absolute lack of help, the feces, the incessant repetition, and the excruciating boredom, I endure now. 

I want to talk too about my dearest friend who died when she was only 49 of Lupus and Scleroderma, (I'd run in the middle of the night to take her to the hospital too) and more importantly about her mother who also has Lupus, one kidney, is 82, has two autistic sons, one in a group home while the 44 year old still lives with her. She is still his caregiver. This woman has every right to be a hot mess, instead she exudes the most sweetest cheerfulness & gratitude that is incomprehensible. Her daughter, my friend, knew she was dying but she too lived everyday with gratitude in her heart.

For decades I had insomnia. Every night in bed I’d think to myself - Omg, I think I’m actually falling asleep this time. This is it. It’s really going to happen. Here I go I’m so relaxed, happily melting away only to hear out of nowhere Julius Fucik’s - Entry of the Gladiators, but more like in the cartoon Madagascar. Sometimes my stomach would be jumping repeatedly. For years I just took it and never said anything but during one check up I mentioned it & I was told, idiot, that’s a panic attack. Long story short, :),I found that I wasn’t hydrating enough. No more jumpy stomach & I fall asleep most times more easily with the help of a white noise machine.

Everyone has valid different levels of sensitivity. I truly get that. And I just looked up the many possible causes of PTSD. It mostly indicates assault, car accidents, prolonged traumatic experience (Nelson Mandela anyone?). 

But people, man, oh man, my mind keeps going to soldiers who have seen, & experienced, horrors, my dad actually gathering the intestines of his friend in an effort to put them back into a place that was not an abdomen anymore, and the many mothers whose children became unrecognizable from a shooter.  

I don’t know folks, something, but maybe not PTSD.
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Michele, I get what you are saying but one thing you cannot overlook is the fact that everybody has different sensitivities. You know how some people faint at the sight of blood. Others could see a blood bath and not feel a thing.

So yes, people in war situations have experienced unimaginable horror. PTSD? No kidding. But caregivers are in another kind of trench. It may not be the immediate soul wrenching horror of stuffing your buddies intestines back into his body but it's still a mind numbing continuous day to day erosion of your spirit when you have to deal day after day after day with one small emergency after another after another.

Yes, it's PTSD. Don't kid yourself.
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MicheleDL Jun 2022
Yes, I surely agree. Some folks have different levels of sensitivity. Only recently I found I can no longer go into an MRI where as before I could easily.

I'm sorry that I upset you. It was not my intention.
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I have C-PTSD from years of almost daily emergencies. My son has mental health issues and both parents had cancer, plus mom has mental health issues. I never have a relaxing day. Sunday morning, right now, my son is harassing me because someone has his "things" and he's going to "kill everyone if he doesn't get his things." It never ends. I'm literally phone phobic now over it all. I'm working on it, but it's not easy. The book "Boundaries" has helped me to create my own safe zone. Even if they don't respect my boundaries, I'm much more able to say what they're going through is not my problem, call 911 if it's an emergency, etc...
You need to prioritize your own health and seek help for your husband's care wherever you can. If that means sending him to hospital by ambulance or patient transfer instead of being present yourself, then do it and don't feel guilty.
I wish you well.
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PTSD diagnosis is used very casually by lay people. Diagnosis of true PTSD requires meeting very specific and rigid criteria which are not found in caregiving. What caregivers may develop, is acute or chronic stress disorder. Yes, it requires psychiatric treatment when very severe.
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lealonnie1 Jun 2022
We're all 'lay people' here Champ, and nobody is qualified to give a diagnosis in absolutes, as you tend to do all the time. How do you 'know' for sure WHAT criteria has been met by this OP? You don't. ONLY her DOCTOR can diagnose whether she has PTSD or not. "Acute or chronic stress disorder" is surely not a LEAP from PTSD or C-PTSD anyway, now is it? In a quest to 'be right', you are missing the entire point of her post and her PAIN.

*Even if you were a doctor or in the medical field in your pre-retired life, you are NOT a doctor HERE on the forum (rendering YOU a lay person) and have no right to diagnose people or tell them what they do or do not have. Period.
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