Parents are 89 and 90 and for the past year mom's health has taken a turn for the worse....mild dementia (to be determined), mobility problems, PMR, etc. Dad is in decent health although his Parkinsons is starting to get worse. My sister and I have been after them to move to an IL or AL facility. Today they said they would consider moving to a new apartment complex near them instead. This would certainly make their living situation better in terms of being much smaller and far more manageable. My concern is that there is no enclosed area for cars (which means dad would be responsible for clearing his car in winter months) and this is a high rise with very long hallways (unless they are fortunate and get a end unit). Not suited for elderly living. Question is.....should I encourage this (knowing a move to a different facility is in the future) or continue to try to persuade them to accept the original plan? There are some pro's to this, but I think the cons win out. Their reasoning is financial....they have the means to live in a very nice facility, but feel renting is more appealing because they save $3500 per month. At least the door seems to be opening a bit.....at least for today :) So what would be your thoughts on this? Thanks in advance for your response!
Your folks will move to the high rise but it won’t last long cause there will be a crisis soon where one or both need to be in a facility. Then you and sis will be stuck with lease/money issues, car, furniture and god knows what else.
my mom was still WITH IT a little bit at 85, she could understand my reasoning about them moving but she was not about to let one damn thing change. Including having anyone in her house to help. THOSE PEOPLE STEAL YOU BLIND!
I gave up on arguing, sweet talking, and begging my folks to to move to assisted living. The big crisis finally hit and off they went kicking and screaming to assisted living. And yes, I had a house, land, car, tractors and god knows what to deal with.
our stories are pretty typical I think.
there is no magic bullet or easy answer for this situation. My only advice is to steer them in the right direction as much as you can. I would not encourage the move to this hi rise.
I should look on your parents' proposal as a distinct, positive wiggle. It's a start.
The $3.5K they'd "save" would vanish pretty quickly once you start adding up the cost of services, not to mention the potential cost attached to the extra risks they'd be running. It shouldn't, with a bit of homework, be too difficult to draw up a comparative schedule of costs and show them that the real savings, in the end, would not be worth the inconvenience and lack of support options.
What counterproposals do you have to offer them? Is there an "ideal" facility you have in mind that you could do a direct comparison with?
You're right, anyway, to seize on this opportunity to encourage them and use it to steer them a little bit further. Good luck, let's hope it bears fruit :)
Ok, good idea, but my parents where in their early 90's at that time. Ramblers were not common in my area. I tired to get them to view a nice 55+ apartment complex that had a separate Assisted Living building if they should ever need it, showed them a brochure, but was told "maybe in a few years"... [rolling eyes].
If you can convince your folks to move to a 55+ apartment community now, they can create friendships with the other residents, and believe me, that can come in handy should there be a serious illness down the road. Friends to lean on are important. Plus your folks would have a lot of time to learn their way around, and to know the Staff. Such communities have on-site banks, beauty salon/barber, gift shop, gyms, indoor pools, several restaurants, and even a doctor's office. Of course, the condo fee would be expensive so it depends on if your parents could budget for that cost.
My Dad moved to a smaller place for Independent Living that had 3 floors, and a separate Assisted Living and Memory Care building. Dad had a really nice and roomy 2 bedroom apartment with full size kitchen. The rent included weekly housekeeping and weekly linen service, plus meals in the restaurant. Heck, it was so nice, I wanted to sign up :)