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My mother is 90 ,she had me late in life at 43. I am now 46 years old. My mother became ill with arthritis and many surgery since i was 23 years old. She was a single parent and i am the only child. I now have been taking care of her for 23 years, she is a loving mom but is extremely hard to deal with, very critical to others esp me. I have often felt overwhelmed with working and having a husband and three children and taking care of my mom. My mom gets very jealous of my time with my family. I don't think she feels i have spent enough time with her over the years. The time we have together, we are going to many doctors appointments, gettings her medications, grocery shopping etc. Since i am her only family, this all has to be done. Lately she has worsened and i think it may be close to the end, she broke her rib after a fall, i have tried to get her to go to a personal care home almost next door to us but she refuses. She says she is staying in her home until she dies. I do understand that but her home if over an hour round trip for me and with work and family etc, i am worn down. I get so upset and feel sorry for myself, i however don't let her see that but then i feel bad for having those feelings. it is so hard. Any suggestions.

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you might see if shes qualified for hospice , then find a family member whos willing to spend her last ( months ? ) with her for a reasonable fee. could be an out of work niece / nephew .
just a suggestion..
if an elder lives it out at home its best accomplished with as big of team as you can muster. ( threaten , blackmail , coerce. )
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My Mom wanted the same, not to move from her house that was over an hour away from me, also her only child and only family she has.
I urge you to do something while you can make a choice and she can too. My Mom left it too late, broke her hip and ended up having no choice but go into asst living, she never saw her house again, I had to make all the decisions while under awful stress. Your Mom is being inconsiderate and not thinking of you and your family, you have every right to be resentful and feel sorry for yourself.
You could be indeed talking about my Mom, always super critical of me her only child, I am in therapy and on Prozac... Thanks Mom!
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You need to enjoy the rest of your days with your Mother.My advice to you is to stop being her caregiver and hand the rains over to a outsider.It's time!
She's falling,breaking bones now.It's time to turn this over to someone else to handle.You did your job!...Your done!..It's time to enjoy your Mother not to be a employee for her anymore.Your losing out on spending time with your Mother and your Family.I'm a outsider I see what you don't see.I'm caring for my 88 yr old Aunt.I'm soon gonna be a grandfather soon.I will enjoy being a grandfather not a caregiver anymore.I'm done.I did my job.
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