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What can I do about an aging parent who has a significant hearing loss but won’t admit it? Clearly my mother has had impaired hearing for several years but refuses to admit it. She claims I just mumble. Our conversations seem ridiculous, almost comical as she replies to things I haven’t said. I have to repeat myself several times. When I speak loudly (which makes me feel very anxious) she says,


“You don’t have to yell.”


I get so frustrated and find myself avoiding any conversation. Getting a hearing aid is not even a consideration.

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Does she go to the doctor? Does the doc look in her ears?

Impacted earwax accounts for a lot of hearing issues, especially in elders. The fix is simple and painless.

How about a fiblet that she will lose her medical insurance if she doesn't have a checkup this year?

Pass a note to the doctor on you way in about checking for earwax.
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Take her to a hearing aid center for a baseline test. Maybe she will believe it when she hears it from someone else that can demonstrate to her what she has been missing.
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I looked at your profile and previous posts. Is your father still living? Is it recent that your mother now lives with you?

I had the same problem with my mother. She haughtily informed me that it's normal for elders to lose their hearing, and wait until *I* was old! She refused to consider hearing aids, and wouldn't even go back to the ENT in 6 months like he recommended.

Rather than repeat things multiple times, I just avoided conversation, as you are doing.

They don't realize that not hearing increases the cognitive decline. And my mother went to her regular doctor appointments without me going into the examining room (her orders), so I don't even think she heard what they were saying. They assumed she heard unless she said, "What?", and if she didn't hear something at all she wouldn't ask them to repeat it.

BUT I didn't live with her, so I can't imagine the frustration you must feel!
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StrugglingSue Mar 2020
Sounds just like my mom.
I guess I just feel guilty that she is alone much of the time, but when she lived on her own she didn’t have much interaction with people either.
I suppose I must reconcile myself to the fact that this is they way things will be until she’s gone. She will likely never get hearing aids, which to me seems stubborn and selfish.
Fortunately she does text and email family which doesn’t require hearing.
I will try to get her doctor to check for earwax as was mentioned by another responder, can’t hurt to try.
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5 years. That's how long it took my Mum to give in & get the hearing aides after tests showed they were needed.

Said they would make her look old.

I said get some to match your hair, no-one will ever notice them. People probably notice the glasses, the walking stick & the WHITE hair first. LOL
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disgustedtoo Mar 2020
Too Funny! What vanity does to us (and how can she not realize having white hair, some wrinkles maybe, walking stick, glasses, etc doesn't already mark her as "old")
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I am going to be the party pooper here. My husband just had his check up for his new hearing aid. He wears behind the ear with a wheel for volume. His present one is about an inch and a half long. His new one is not more than an inch. No more wheel. Its a very small button on the top he has to press to turn up and down. Not sure how this is going to work because he has big hands.

Its very hard for the elderly to acclimate themselves to hearing aids. You may want to try some other things first. A member said they still have little box like things (like those transistor radios) with ear buds. There are also "TV ears" that are cordless that hook up to the TV. Then Mom wears a head piece to hear. She controls the volume from her head piece. That way others in the room can control the TV.

I would suggest that you talk, and everyone else, to Mom in a normal tone. By doing this, she may learn that she is the problem not everyone else. Also, look at her when u talk and slowly but not too slow. I think, unknowingly, we all lip read to a point. Keep your sentences short. Try not to have conversations.
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Avoiding conversation sounds pretty reasonable. Write on paper a note that says ‘I’m not talking because you can’t hear what I say’, and produce it when she wants to talk. It won’t go down too well. At the moment M has no incentive to try anything, because she is forcing you to make all the changes. Stop!
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What can you do? Absolutely nothing! Just continue talking very loudly and listen to her ask why you're yelling, like I do with my mother. She accused my father of mumbling for years when he spoke in a perfectly clear voice. She accuses me of yelling all the time, but asks me to repeat myself 10x which forces me TO yell in order to be heard.

A no win situation for all concerned. Welcome to old age & the stubborn pig-headed mothers who refuse hearing aids. Which must be our fault, too, somehow.
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disgustedtoo Mar 2020
"Welcome to old age & the stubborn pig-headed mothers..."
Unfortunately my mother was pig-headed long before old age...

And yes, everything IS our fault!!! :-D

(my mother has had hearing aids for a long long time. the one she moved in with finally went through the laundry at MC - she would forget to put it in, or take it out before bed, so it would end up in the sheets. got a new pair, fitted for same ear as hearing was shot in right ear. first one went AWOL in short order, likely wrapped in tissue at meal time and tossed. generally she isn't wearing it now, as she would keep taking it out. I use a Boogie Board, LCD erasable pad, to say anything she can't lip read.)
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My Dh needed Hearing aids for 20 years before he got them. He missed SO MUCH.

When it got to the point where he was missing the announcements to board his flight and he was missing them--he kind of had a clue.

Also, I knelt down in front of him and BEGGED him to minimally have his baseline hearing checked. I was crying and past even trying to be kind. Said I was sick to death of screaming at him all the time. It was making me sick!

He reluctantly went to a local audiologist, had me go with him b/c he KNEW he would ace the hearing test. He failed it, epically. The audiologist was extremely kind and sensitive b/c to my DH, this made him 'old' but I know 20 yos who wear hearing aids!

I told him to get the aids that were the best fit for him. No $$ limit, as I was so sick of yelling all the time, and him looking like a demented old dude.

His ha's cost over $5K. Worth every penny. he can bluetooth music or a podcast through them. He can take them out or turn them off if he wants.

He still hasn't mastered to fine art of looking at a person's face when they talk--that would be helpful.

Having ALL my kids tell him how glad they were he addressed this issue helped too. I know he gets so sick of the sound of my voice, and he takes them out so he can ignore me, which is perfectly fine!!

I need to remember that I can't try to talk to him unless there is no other noise and he is LOOKING AT ME.
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StrugglingSue Mar 2020
I SO understand your frustration, the situation makes me angry because it all seems so unnecessary. I cannot for the life of me figure out any possible advantage she feels there is in denying her hearing problem.
My mother has had plenty of money all along to purchase hearing aids. It is somewhat comforting to know I’m not the only one....
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I've read that hearing loss is a risk factor for cognitive decline. My Mum has both.

Just crossed my mind what comes first?

I assumed the hearing loss could decrease socializing & activities, leading to using the brain less. But maybe the cognitive decline is first - which impairs judgement? So when the person is told they need hearing aids they don't have the reasoning to accept it.
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disgustedtoo Mar 2020
That's a tough one - chicken or egg? Mom's hearing issue dates way back before dementia and she used hearing aids (eventually just one, as hearing on the right was minimal at that point, if at all) for a long time. Not so much now, as she forgets it, takes it out, etc.

But, whether it comes first or later, hearing loss probably does have an impact. Socializing can become difficult if/when they can't hear well. Although mom did still socialize, forgetting to replace the battery probably made that difficult and may have led to her eventual withdrawal from going with the others to functions at the Senior Center. She was "Self-isolating" at that point. Loss of hearing -> loss of socializing -> loss of being able to function "normally"? Her condition was surgically treatable, but she declined that. The hearing aids worked for a very long time, but eventually this condition results in more and more loss. I suspect her dementia is more related to having high BP (treated with meds) and age, but certainly losing ability to hear makes life even more difficult!
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Know this! You are not alone. My mom is 89 and has enough money to get a hearing aid but flat out refuses. I too have to raise my voice to an uncomfortable level. The TV has to be so loud it hurts my ears so I leave the room. Now my dad who's 84, is also hard of hearing. He thinks you've said something other than what you did say. It is so frustrating. Nothing we can do but grin and bear it. The kicker is remembering how they both said they hated talking to my grandmother because of her not wearing her hearing aids. When I remind them of the fact, they don't want to "hear" it. Hang in there.
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PeeWee57 Mar 2020
My mom refuses hearing aids, too. I solved the TV problem by connecting our satellite box to an auxiliary stereo system, and plugging a headset into the stereo output. That way, I could keep the TV at a normal level for myself, and Mom was able to listen at whatever volume she wished.
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raising your voice as with hearing loss it is still harder for her to hear. Higher pitch sounds as harder to hear. Lower your voice do not mean to whisper but most people with hearing loss can hear a man's voice over the higher pitch woman's voice.
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Next time your loved one is going to their primary care physician, send a note ahead of time or, if you are going with them, slip a note to the nurse asking the physician to write a "prescription" for a hearing test. Most physicians are happy to get out an old handheld prescription pad and write such a "prescription". No, it will not be paid by Medicare but hearing tests are usually free and I have found COSTCO to be the best place to start. If the doctor doesn't do it or your loved one still refuses, then every time he or she goes to another physician, they should be handed the same prescription. After 2 or 3 times of "hearing" it from someone else, they actually get the test.
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Guess what? Sometimes they spend thousands to get hearing aids and don’t wear them like my mom. Oh, if your mom has excess ear wax they need to be cleaned regularly (weekly) or they can’t hear due to the wax.

Headphones work for not having a blaring television.

I even tried writing signs for her to read. She got upset. Oh well...

I’m not heartless but it was exhausting raising my voice all the time and then I had to hear her say that I sounded angry.

I did research at one time on voice amplifiers. Any public speakers use them in large groups. It will save your voice. I never ordered one but I was tempted. Mom isn’t living with us anymore. It may be a solution for you though.

Good luck.
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Omg, I had to double check the poster of this because I thought I must have written it!
My mom started showing hearing issues about two years ago after she began taking lasiks for her congestive heart disease. She gets very angry when my decibel level goes up when I have to repeat. I have a soft voice so I guess I sound like a shrew when I take it up a notch. I’m really the only one she does this with. Lol
Her ears have been checked, and cleaned. She does have some sinus issues due to allergies but her doc says it’s just age related.
I bought her some earbuds that she wears with her laptop while on Facebook to hear videos or Skype.
She doesn’t like the way they feel in her ears so I imagine she wouldn’t like the feeling of hearing aids and it would probably be money wasted.
I have found if I say “Mom” when I first address her it seems to get her attention a little better and she listens a little harder.
I know this isn’t very helpful, just wanted you to know you aren’t alone. She also talks really loud while gabbing on the phone which is another indicator of the hearing loss.
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LibrarianJill Mar 2020
I thought I would lose my mind screaming at my 90 year old parents because they would NOT wear their hearing aids. Dad would take them to the doctor visits, carrying them in his back pocket. I would say “I’ll tell the doctor to speak to your butt then!”

After Dad died I discovered voice amplifiers. Teacher use them. You wear a small head phone set, and a small amplifier that clips to your belt or sits on a table (size of your fist) BLASTS out what you have said in your normal voice level.

Cheap too, about $25

See my earlier comment here for more details.
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This subject must be in the top ten of elder care problems, surely. Whose heart doesn't go out to you!

Just one thought, though. Hands up everyone here aged over fifty who's had their own hearing tested?
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disgustedtoo Mar 2020
Mom's audiologist wanted me tested after mom's hearing loss was dxed (otosclerosis) - apparently it can be hereditary and can be made worse somehow with each child you have (not sure how that works!) My hearing was totally FINE!

Funny story though, a few years back while watching a movie that was loud to begin with (action flick), I asked son and GF to pause it because I heard something. They looked at me like I had 2 heads. So I left the room to check on what I heard. A few minutes later they joined me and said what is that? Ohhhh, NOW you hear it!?!?!?!? (I think it was a Fischer Cat in the backyard. Whatever it was, I could hear it over the movie!)

I tell everyone my hearing is fine, I can even hear every little thing over the voices in my head (snark - no voices yet!) I do hear the slightest noises in my house (and louder ones too, but it is very quiet here, only one cat makes noise, during her sun-downing episodes - AUGH!) and so far have had no difficulty hearing others, so I don't need to have a hearing test until something DOES become apparent.
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CM,

Me! Actually, in my 20’s. I have tinnitus. My audiologist said that I went attended too many loud concerts when I was young.

My hearing wasn’t perfect then. I damaged my hearing listening to very loud music for years.
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2020
Sick of stupid autocorrect typos that I miss. Hahaha. Should read that I attended too many loud rock concerts.
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My mom (92) lost her hearing about 10 years ago. She refuses to wear her hearing aids that cost $2k each! My brother found “pocket talker” for her and now we can give her a plug in for one ear and speak softly into the little microphone and she can hear the conversation. It has been great for me since I don’t have to yell anymore. I was getting headaches from trying to speak loud enough.
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2020
Yay! Sounds great! A lot better than yelling.
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I raised my deaf granddaughter and now I myself am losing my hearing. I have noticed that I can understand what is said better if the person is facing me, I don't exactly lip read but combining that with good articulation helps. Also if you start to say something before you launch into a subject call the persons name. It helps them to focus and know that you want to talk to them in particular. A lot of the tricks I use now myself I picked up when taking my granddaughter to speech therapy. I really don't want to wear a hearing aid as I get frequent ear infections and just don't lie the feeling in my ears. And your mom is right about yelling; it tends to distort a persons lips and mouth making it harder to understand. Good luck it is not an easy task but a few tricks might help you a bit.
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Be aware that there are many drugs that are ototoxic, meaning that they actually harm the ears and therefore the hearing. These include commonly prescribed drugs such as Lasix, some antibiotics (especially Vancomycin), some mood elevators, etc.
In August of 2020, hearing aids will start being sold over the counter in stores such as CVS, Costco, Walgreen's, and Walmart. They will be generic, not customized, but they will also cost only about $500 (not thousands) each. This will be a game-changer!
With so many older people having hearing loss, the question is: Why in the H--- has it taken this long?!
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LittleOrchid Mar 2020
If at all possible, a person should have their hearing checked and aids "tuned" by an audiologist. Hearing loss is rarely the same across a spectrum of sounds. In my case I was shocked when I first wore my aids and discovered that their was a bass line in my favorite Sade song that I had never heard before, even though I play my music fairly loud. Some people miss the higher registers, so soprano voices don't really come through (like their daughter's). An aid that cannot be tuned raises all sounds equally. That means the noises all around are pretty overwhelming but voices are no more distinct that they were without the aids. Aids can also be tuned to help a person distinguish the beginning and ends of words more clearly. Often in persons with hearing loss, words seem to mush together incomprehensibly because those tiny silences are lost. It is pretty amazing how much clearer the words are with a good aid. Before settling for a cheap device that just makes everything louder, go to an audiologist (most will give a free or low-cost introductory analysis). See if you can use a pair for a few days to see if it makes a difference, then decide if it is worth putting the 2K or 5K on time payments to really hear like you did in your 20's.
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I know how totally frustrating that can be. My mother wore a hearing aid and sometime she would not put it in. I would have to repeat myself over and over. I think maybe you should get her a hearing aid. Otherwise, she is going to make you crazy.
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I have the same problem with my husband and he is only 64! Too proud to wear his hearing aids even though he was tested and has hearing loss and tinnitus. In addition, my mother is currently living with me and she also rarely wears her hearing aids (and they cost $6,500). Doesn't want all the "old people " contraptions! Some days I just want to yell..."The problem isnt ME...its YOU!"
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LibrarianJill Mar 2020
I can fix this! Get a voice amplifier. You never have to yell, they have no responsibility, you just speak normally and the voice amplifier makes your voice loud. School teachers use them. They are about $25 on Amazon. Saved my sanity!!!!
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Dazed,

My mom absolutely would lip read my speech. She could figure it out when I spoke slowly and facing her. If I turned away she missed it. That’s how I knew she was reading my lips.

I suppose that you used signing with your grandchild. When I was young and single I rented a duplex. My neighbor was deaf. We became good friends and he taught me to sign. It’s actually a beautiful language. Wonderfully effective way of communicating.
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Hearing loss is tough. There are multiple kinds and some dont involve the hearing mechanics but are in the brain's ability to interpret what it hears. In that case talking louder does not make it anymore understandable. However, a very common form of hearing loss is in the higher frequencies. Those are where the sounds of consonants exist and reduced ability to hear in the upper range can make understanding the words like trying to read a book with no consonants in the words. Some symptoms of this sort of loss may be that men's lower range voices are easier to understand but women's and children's are a real struggle. The deficit can easily be determined by an audio test and hearing aids can make a huge difference fro.now on with the right fitting. I suggest you watch some youtube videos on this subject. Start with those created by dr Cliff Audiologist http://youtu.be/2i21IWsBwm0 . His channel has a lot of great perspective as well as useful reviews of different products. You can also search for just hearing aids and find a huge number of very informative content, some of which might help convince your Mom to be more receptive to the solutions for her needs. You dont have to do it all yourself and, as you will find in some of these videos, there is proof that hearing loss increases other aging problems like accelerating memory loss, making dementia worse, increasing depression and many others so it is not something to be just stepped around and ignored because things will get worse if it is not successfully addressed.
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Get ear wax checked, mineral oil will help soften it.
Speak low and slow, use her name before you speak to be sure you have her attention. Face her as she is most likely reading lips more that actually hearing.

I have had to use these to talk to Mom who does have hearing aids! She knows she is profoundly deaf and still says it is me! I feel your frustration, I still raise my voice, very hard to learn not to, and we end up yelling at each other and arguing when it was just a simple statement made that probably did not even warrant a response!

One incentive is to tell her that loss of hearing can lead to Alzheimer's and other dementia's. Look it up so you have real facts.
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This solution saved my sanity and kept me from being raging mad after yelling all day:

Buy a voice amplifier!!!!

It’s a small microphone head set that sends voice to a small amplifier box that fits in your hand or clips to your belt or sits on the table...wherever you want it to.

You can talk at a normal tone of voice. The amplifier makes it loud for your loved one to hear. Bonus: if mild dementia is involved they may think it helps YOU hear and so they want to be helpful and speak into the box.
They focus better as they talk and listen.

No need to bug a loved you about wearing their hearing aid either. They should of course but why fight when you can override the hearing aid need?

Try very hard to never yell because yelling, even yelling something friendly and pleasant, releases the fight/flight hormone and internally the person yelling feels anger, agitation and hostility.

Voice amplifiers are used by teachers and tour guide outside so everyone can hear. Costs from about $25 on up depending on features you want. I bought the cheapest to try it. It’s great but the wireless option for a little bit more would have been great.

I got mine on Amazon, there is a good selection of models. Search using the words “voice amplifier”.
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Ohe thought I have is could you take her to an ear,nose,and throat physician to have her hearing tested and have her ears checked for wax build up? Many seniors have difficulty accepting hearing loss and hearing aids. Hearing loss can lead to cognitive issues. Admitting hearing loss is difficult because it typically associated with aging. Perhaps stressing the positives of having intact hearing will make an impression. Or if she is told by more than one trusted person, she may be willing to address the issue. Good luck. Don't forget the issue 9f selective hearing too. My dad was known for saying "what?" all the time. However, when my mother and aI would whisper to keep something from him, he was right on it saying: "I just heard..." My children who had chronic ear infections resulting in tubes exhibited the same behavior.
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disgustedtoo Mar 2020
My son was noted for the "selective hearing" you mentioned! I would ask or say something and get What? When I said never mind, as it wasn't important, he would then respond - WTF??? If you heard me, why did you say "What?" Other times, as you mentioned, I would be in another room, far from where he was and talking to his sister about something that had nothing to do with him, and he would chime in then too!
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Get hearing tested and ears checked. It could be something as simple as cleaning out the ears. Then quit talking loud to compensate - which is what most family members do. My dad's entire side of family is/was hard of hearing and from being around them constantly for so long, I talk really loud all the time now! I don't even realize how loud I am and it's embarrassing when someone who hears well tells me to tone it down. (Funny story - a relative finally 'borrowed' a hearing device from someone. We were sitting outside and he kept asking 'what is all that noise I hear even when you are not talking?' Finally figured out he was hearing the crickets and locusts that he hadn't heard in 20+ years. He pulled out the hearing aid and said all the bug noise was too annoying and if that's all he missed out on, he could live without it. ---Nevermind that he could finally hear us talk normally!!! He is also the same person who stopped taking medicine to control anger issues...it was working...but he said he wasn't going to use it because he liked being angry)

If she cannot hear you, then repeat in the same normal voice. Also, if people visit tell them to talk normally to help you show her how much she is missing out on by having hearing problem. Maybe she would agree to, at least, have it checked out.
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My mom (95) has had some hearing loss for many years. About 10 years ago she did get a hearing aid after receiving an inheritance. She bought the top of the line. At first she was thrilled. After a few weeks, though, she gradually reduced the amount of time she wore them until she never wore them at all. The reason? Her brain had lost the capacity to screen out background sounds because she waited so long to get the aids. She could have recovered that skill with practice, but she chose to revert to the silence and miss the sounds of the world around her. There really isn't anything you can do if a person is unwilling to cooperate.

The way I have coped with it is simple: I don't. I don't raise my voice, I don't repeat myself, I don't sympathize with her, I don't tell her to put in her aids.

In the beginning my sisters and I did all sorts of things, to no avail. After a few months, we gave up on trying to cajole or scold her into wearing her aids. We would talk in normal conversational tones. Any time she would ask us to speak louder or repeat something we would respond "put in your hearing aids, Mom, we are speaking normally and you should be able to hear." When she would complain that a friend did not speak loudly enough, we would respond "that is called normal conversational tones, Mom, wear your aids if you want to participate."

End result: Mom still chooses to remain in silence. Ultimately, we had to accept that she will not wear those expensive hearing aids, but we will not change our lives because she chooses not to hear. It makes her seem older and more senile because she is guessing on what is being said, rather than hearing. It is sad, but I would rather talk to Mom without arguing or yelling. There is communication, of a sort. Mom hears the voices and is pleased to be part of a "conversation" though her replies are often total non-sequiturs.

I also suffer from a slight hearing loss. My choice is to wear the aids nearly all the time. I like hearing the birds sing, people around me, and ALL the notes of the music I listen to. I choose to be part of the world. I wasn't sure about getting the aids, based on Mom's experience so the audiologist allowed me to borrow a pair that was tuned to my hearing issues. Within 2 days I was certain that I wanted aids. I then "test drove" a more upscale pair, which I bought. That was 4 years ago.

My suggestion to you is don't do anything. Don't repeat yourself, don't raise your voice. When your mother is ready to seek help, she will. It is really HER problem, not yours. In the meantime, if she complains about not hearing you, stick to a single reply, "I was speaking normally, if you can't hear you may want to visit an audiologist." You are the daughter, not the mother, and she will have her way whether you like it or not. Go along with it and have your part of the conversation normally. She will understand some of it, you can't control how much of it.

I take my Mom to luncheons with some of her old friends. It is hilarious. None of them hear well, none of them wear their aids. All of them speak in normal tones and pretend they know what is going on, but they are exchanging totally unrelated conversational tidbits. It is almost like being in an acid trip. I wear my aids and respond to each of them in their own conversation, making no corrections. We all have a wonderful time, but I am the only one who really understands each of the conversational drifts. See if you can see the humor in the situation. What else can you do? Laugh with her and enjoy the day as much as possible.
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Myownlife Mar 2020
I am with you, Little Orchid! I see hearing aids as no different than wearing a pair of glasses. When I need them, I for sure will wear hearing aids. I have the front door open right now (here in Florida), listening to the birds, such a joyful sound!
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You cannot do anything but take a deep breath and know this is the new norm for your parent. You have to find a way to accept it for your own peace of mind.

For a very long time my mother needed hearing aids. I finally had my way, got her to the doctor, got her the hearing aids. And then [ wait for it, wait for it ] she would not use them, did not like how they felt, and finally I realized she will not change and was able to return them for the full 5 thousand $ refund, luckily. At least we tried. Now it's been so long, we ( I ) am able to gently joke about it with her. I say something from about five feet away, she repeats what she thinks she hears which is totally wrong, and I raise my voice even more and say it again louder and more slowly. We laugh. She will tell me sometimes I don't have to yell, and I answer right back, " I have to yell, because you can't hear, and you wouldn't use the hearing aids." She hears and is just quiet and doesn't answer back, because she knows it is true!

When we are out like at a concert last night, I lean my mouth very close to her ear so she will hear me. Other times, I look directly at her and speak slowly and enunciate my words extra-clearly. I have learned (most of the time) more patience in the last couple of years than I have ever had in my life. It's an ever-evolving journey :)
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I know I already weighed in on this--but I need to say that just getting hearing aids will not solve the problem of a LO who CHOOSES to ignore you.

If DH will not wear his aids, I refuse to yell all day long. And I will not watch TV with him nor go to a movie "what? what did they say?"

His loss.

There is a learning curve to getting used to aids and I know my DH has made some effort, and is doing better, but if he is like his mother (and he is, sadly, a great deal like her) he will go to his death saying that the entire world mumbles and it's not HIM.

I can hear perfectly--which is a great blessing. One of us has to be aware of our surroundings. You know how many speeding tickets DH has gotten b/c he cannot hear the cop behind him? Or how many flights he's missed b/c he doesn't hear the announcement to board the plane? It's embarrassing.

Our kids never let him babysit b/c he could not hear the babies cry. They don't even like him to drive them places b/c he doesn't hear and driving does require a certain level of sound awareness. Deaf people learn skills to help the---semi deaf people just blame everybody and their dog for how hard it is to hear.

And yep, he turns them down or off when the gkids come over, Too many little voices and he can't follow.

It is what it is. He spent a fortune on these things and if he chooses to not wear them, he is choosing to live in a muffled world. (The audiologist was able to have me wear headphones and 'hear' the way my DH hears. It was eye opening and I don't know how he can stand it!)
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