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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
She's very feeble and fears we [siblings] may put her in a nursing home. I am interested in work with elderly, but on disability so I feel being at her home I could have a start at this for helping her stay strong while she's independent
If your mother is feeble, can that be changed? I am 81 and belong to a gym. They have many classes for seniors from chair exercises to pretty heavy aerobics. It has been proven that exercise and light workouts with weights have helped many seniors maintain independence and improve their balance. There are also senior centers in many towns that have the same programs. They include dancing, yoga, and other things that help you maintain muscle strength. In this one class I go to one lady has a chair for her oxygen machine, another sweet old lady (you know old is 10 years older than I am) has to hang on to a chair and only work one side at a time. Perhaps if you could help her with this.
My disabled sister tried to care for Mother. They did not live together, but she lived close by. My mother outlived her by 3 years. So, mom did go to an excellent NH. It saved her life and she made many friends - and was safe.
Many parents don't want to live with their kids. Don't take it personally. I see post after post on here, from well meaning children that give up their home and then, the parent dies and they have no income or place to live.
I want to speak to the fear of a nursing home. NEVER EVER EVER make promises you can't keep. My mother wanted me to promise she'd never end up in one. I couldn't do that because none of us know what the future holds.
I would only promise mom that my first priority is her safety and wellbeing, and we'll do what is necessary to see to those needs. Getting mom placed into a facility that was built for people with limited mobility and vision was the right answer for us. The doctors came to her, somebody wheeled her to PT, the beauty shop, the dentist, etc. Everything was onsite.
Your mom may very well need 24/7 skilled nursing care. You don't have to call it a nursing home.
These facilities don't look like they did in the 1970s or 80s anymore. And the standard of care is definitely much more evolved than back then. Restraints are illegal except under some narrowly defined situations. People aren't drugged into a stupor with chemical restraints. They look as homey as possible. Nobody wears an old fashioned nurse's uniform anymore.
Don't take care options off the table that may need to be used at some point.
elmh, please give us more information, such as what is your Mom's age and what are her mobile limitations? What is it that she is afraid about nursing homes, or does she relate independent/assisted living as also being nursing homes?
Example, my Dad is 94 years old and he can't wait for the moving van to pull up to gather what he his taking to his independent living apartment [4 rooms]. It's a new chapter in his life, and he will be around people who are closer to his age, and be able to join in activities, and have dinner in the main dining room, etc. I am waiting for him to ask me to buy him some Aqua Velva after shave :P
I am pushing 70 so I knew my own age related decline wouldn't be a good mix with trying to care for someone in their 90's. Like who would pick me up if I fell? So that is something to think about if one has a disability.
If you are on disability, get mom to assisted living NOW. Do not take this on, it will be impossible for you to recover from your disability. Nor can you get paid to care for her, or you disability payments will stop. Others have tried and regressed badly.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Many parents don't want to live with their kids. Don't take it personally. I see post after post on here, from well meaning children that give up their home and then, the parent dies and they have no income or place to live.
I would only promise mom that my first priority is her safety and wellbeing, and we'll do what is necessary to see to those needs. Getting mom placed into a facility that was built for people with limited mobility and vision was the right answer for us. The doctors came to her, somebody wheeled her to PT, the beauty shop, the dentist, etc. Everything was onsite.
Your mom may very well need 24/7 skilled nursing care. You don't have to call it a nursing home.
These facilities don't look like they did in the 1970s or 80s anymore. And the standard of care is definitely much more evolved than back then. Restraints are illegal except under some narrowly defined situations. People aren't drugged into a stupor with chemical restraints. They look as homey as possible. Nobody wears an old fashioned nurse's uniform anymore.
Don't take care options off the table that may need to be used at some point.
Example, my Dad is 94 years old and he can't wait for the moving van to pull up to gather what he his taking to his independent living apartment [4 rooms]. It's a new chapter in his life, and he will be around people who are closer to his age, and be able to join in activities, and have dinner in the main dining room, etc. I am waiting for him to ask me to buy him some Aqua Velva after shave :P
I am pushing 70 so I knew my own age related decline wouldn't be a good mix with trying to care for someone in their 90's. Like who would pick me up if I fell?
So that is something to think about if one has a disability.