I'm so sick of my mom having me run errands for her who is very able to do things on her own. She just turned 50 and she pays for my grandparents cable & phone bill, my brother's car loan, and others. Every month when the bill is due, she waits til the end of the freaking month like today to ask me to call them for her money and then go to their houses (all live in different towns) to pick it up. She doesn't care about my job or school. I feel like she thinks I owe her something, but I don't. And the reason I moved back home with her anyways was not because I was in need, I was doing well on my own thousands miles away, but she got sick so I decided to come home to get her well and make sure she takes her medicine etc. I work a midshift from 9 to almost 8 pm 45 minutes away and she thinks I'm suppose to drive and extra 30 to pick up her money that she wants to pay their bills. Every time I say to her, you can go get it or I'll tell them to call or text you about it or tell them to bring it by your house, she always comes up with some sorry a** excuse. I hate to sound mean, but that irks me. Her response is "I cant deal with the stress of hunting them down for their money." Okay, so I guess I'm supposed to take up the slack?--No.. I really can't wait until I move and this time I won't come back unless it's a real life dam near death situation. Like its suffocating and annoying. I thought about ignoring her when she asks me to call them for her money and let her do it, but since I do live with her for the remaining months I was going to wait until I move away and then let her know that I'm 27 and I have my own life to live, giving it up to be your maid and servant isn't an option. I just want to find a respectful way to do it. Still I think I should stop her now. I just don't know what to do, but she acts like I have nothing going on but to be her assistant.
It is her attitude that makes you feel like a maid that is the real problem, as I read your post. And, yes, I think you should address that now, before you move. You need an adult-to-adult relationship with her and now is the time to establish it. She will be part of your life for another 40 years or so.
Have a calm conversation with her about what your tasks should be as part of the household. She apparently has picked errand-running (something I'd love to have done for me). But you don't seem to have bought into that. What would you rather do? With the hours you are out of the house you probably can't prepare meals. Do you clean house? Laundry? Would you rather pay for you stay there? Mom has made some assumptions about your role, and you naturally resent that. So clarify the roles. You are not her maid and servant. But you are an able-bodied adult living in her house. Get expectations spelled out.
Why does your mother pay bills for other family members? Are they disabled in some way? Are they unable to handle their own bank accounts? No matter. This is something Mom wants help with. Can you negotiate the terms? She waits until the last minute, but you don't have to, do you? How many times of the month does this happen? Could you set up a schedule that is more convenient for you? Tell your family members that you will pick up their cash the Sunday before the 1st of the month, and the Sunday before the 15th (for example.) Perhaps you can combine the trip with some pleasant visiting, and run your own errands, if you can schedule in advance and have more time.
I suspect there is more to your frustration than just picking up money. Are there other tasks you find unreasonable? Does she ask where you are going when you go out? Are there other ways she treats you like a teenager?
Here is what I suggest: Pretend that it is not your mother you are dealing with, but some room-and-board situation. She is your landlord. You are paying for your stay or at least a portion of it by doing various tasks for her. How would you handle it if there was scope creep and she is now overstepping the agreement you have with her? How would you handle it if you felt she was overly-interested in your personal life.
Strive for an adult-to-adult relationship.
I might also suggest to mom that they set up automatic drafts from their bank accounts. I'd let her figure out how to get her money reimbursed. It would make more sense if those who owe the bill, pay the bill. If mom does it voluntarily, then she can figure out how to get it. She's only 50 years old. She should be able to do it.
If you aren't paying your mom room and board, if you're staying there for free, then helping your mom out with some tasks is reasonable but I think its also reasonable to have some sense of organization as you go about these tasks.
Your grandparents are probably likely to be regular with the pre-addressed, stamped envelopes as suggested above.