How can I protect my client from her family?

I don't think this is any of your business, frankly. What is happening between your former client and her family is between THEM now, and their lawyer, whom they've hired to help. It also sounds like you are missing a good deal of the story here; what lawyer tells their client to leave their elderly mother in law alone for days on end with no care, no food, and no change of soiled under garments??? Not to mention, it doesn't make too much sense that the DIL is mad at the MIL b/c the care givers are missing shifts...? There's a lot more to this story than what you are hearing, methinks.

In any event, it sounds like you've either been let go or are about to be let go, so your hands are tied as a former care giver. If you haven't been let go yet, why wasn't your client cared for in 4 days? Makes no sense.

Wishing you the best of luck with finding a new position.

You took stuff without asking even though you were told that you just had to ask?

I would be thinking about firing you as well. Paying after the fact because you got caught doesn't sit well.

How could your client be left alone for 4 days if you work 5 days a week and someone comes in the other 2? Are the aides flaking out or is the agency?

If you and other aides don't show up, what makes you think that your client shouldn't be put in a nursing home? If she can't take care of herself, well, she needs to be in a facility. What she wants doesn't factor in. Sorry.

Listen, I think you're being somewhat manipulated by your patient. She is trying to enlist your help to change the mind of her family, and that's really not fair to you.

You say you've cared for this person for 12 years. That's a long time, and I'm sure you have developed a good relationship with her. But I imagine you've seen her health deteriorate over this time. Doubtless her family has as well. There comes a point where it is no longer safe for some people to remain in the home, much as they might want to. You might call placement "convenience"; I call it "pragmatism." But that's really neither here nor there. It is their decision to make.

You also mention eviction proceedings, which I gather are against your patient. That says to me that her son and daughter-in-law have tried to convince her that they are no longer able to care for her in their home. Whether they can't get reliable 24 hour care, or they just can't afford it, or whatever their reasons are, that's where they're at. Since it seems she refused, I'm sure son and DIL were told by their attorney that, while they can't FORCE her into a facility if she is still mentally competent. that doesn't mean she has to live with them. If they are going so far as to have her evicted to force her hand, then your boss is 100% correct that there is nothing any of you can do to change the situation.

I get that you aren't relishing the idea of trying to find a new patient to care for, for a myriad of reasons. But you seem to be looking for someone here to give you the magic words that will force your patient's family to continue with things as they are, and I really believe that ship is about to sail.

If you need your agency to help you find a place for income purposes, I would seriously consider taking your boss' advice to keep out of this decision.

Best of luck to you in whatever you decide.

“I WANT to go to a nursing home!”
Said nobody, ever.

What do you want the end result to be?

If you feel there is abuse happening, then by all means, report it to APS. However, where do you plan on going from there?

If, for example, APS comes in and investigates, and finds there is no abuse happening, what then? Your boss has already told you to keep out of it. You admit the "client" (The person you are taking care of is not your agency's "client" at this point in time; in your agency's mind, the client is the one who pays the bill, which is your patient's son and wife. ) gives you money over and above your salary...and now that it seems like your job with this patient is "on the line" so to speak, suddenly you are fearful for her safety. For an outsider looking in, that doesn't put you in the best light.

I understand you feel badly for your patient, who doesn't want to go into a nursing home, but I cannot stress this enough to you: THAT IS ABSOLUTELY NOT YOUR CALL TO MAKE! If this relationship between her and her daughter-in-law is as toxic as you seem to believe, and your patient is indeed in danger because she is being left alone when it is your belief that it is unsafe for her to be so, then don't you think a nursing home might be the best solution at this point? More importantly, are you willing to risk your employment over this, if it turns out that your assessment doesn't rise to the level of abuse? Living in a home where people scream and argue, while not ideal, doesn't rise to the level of abuse where a government agency is going to get involved. And say it is at such a level of abuse? What happens then? If the government steps in and takes guardianship, where do you think this lady will end up? She'll end up in a facility anyway.

As far as "getting her own food from the fridge" as evidence of abuse, heck, even my mom on hospice with CHF can get food for herself from her fridge!

You need to do some serious thinking about your next steps. Good luck

Well I am going to be blunt here.

your client doesn’t need to be protected from her family. She needs to be protected from you, if you can’t simply support her during this time.

I understand you’ve cared for her for 12 years and there is obviously a bond there but you’ve crossed lines that other responders already addressed. Your clients family hasn’t abused or neglected her. It sounds like they’ve kept her home for at least 12 years. That is a long time. You have no right to undermine their decision. Your clients needs are too great, she needs multiple caregivers and her family has been burdened with the task of managing that for years. When the caregivers don’t show up, the family has to deal with it in one way or another.

your heart is in the right place but your brain is not. If you really want to help your client then support her. Her support her as she goes through this next step in life and moves to a nursing home.

Belinda, can you address the question about just taking items from your clients home? How do you figure that is acceptable?

You are claiming some pretty horrific things, yet you yourself are committing crimes against these people. How do you justify that?

I don't care how old you are, theft is theft and now you are trying to cause this family further heartache because you don't want to lose your job.

Your lack of integrity makes me nauseous.

I work 5 days in a row and am of 4 in a row so I can have time for myself and my grandchildren.

The daughter in law is upset because on my days off there is no care and she does not want to do it. My client said she is very mad and is lazy and disrespectful to her. She tells her that she pays an agency so she does not have to do care. My co workers will no longer go to the home because she installed cameras.

You are to act within the contractural confines of your contract with your hiring company. The son and DIL have clearly (it seems to me) been in charge of your client whether through POA or guardianship, and they have hired you THROUGH an agency, to which you report. If you suspect that a client is without care you must report this at once to Adult Protective Services if your own company will take no action. You are responsible to report to your hiring agency and to stay within the contract they have. Again, if an elder is endangered you are a "mandated reporter" meaning this is an emergency situation reportable first to your agency, and nect to authorities so that the Elder if not endangered. Good luck. The best place for the client now may be the nursing home where 24/7 care is provided. No, nobody wants to "go there" and it is sad that any of us do have to, but that is in the hands of the client and those appointed as POAs or guardians in her care. You as a caregiver should work only through your own agency unless you suspect that someone is in danger. Then it requires a call to 911 or to APS.
I hope I didn't miss something in your report here. I wish you good luck.

What would you like to do? Take this woman home to live with YOU and have her pay you directly, quitting the agency entirely? Is that what you're getting at?