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Does your Mom show signs of Dementia? Do you have financial and medical POAs? If the answer is yes than take her checkbook and credit cards away.
If not, how do the scams contact her? If by phone, try to get the info and report them to the FTC. Try to get her mail before she does. Contact the scams in writing, like email and ask to be taken off mailing list. If they send a self addressed prepaid envelope, send back the information with Moms name and addressed circled and "take me off your mailing list".
I’m so sorry this has happened to your mom and by default to you.
I don’t think scammers will leave your mom alone as long as they think she has anything left they can get. Somehow the connection must be broken. Is it through the mail, over the phone, on the computer? Does she have an addiction to gambling? Most addicts need help to stop the cycle. If it’s through the mail you might want to change her address to a post office box and you manage it. If it’s on an email, you might need to take her computer or cancel her email account. On the phone, maybe change her number?
Your question reminded me of episodes I’ve seen on Dr Phil. I went to his website and searched for lottery. I found information on who to contact including a phone number for the FTC. It had information on what emails might contain to get the receiver hooked. Here is the link for email scams. Let us know more details of how this happened. We learn from each other.
IF your Mom has dementia AND you have POA, you can take her credit cards and checks. You can change the phone number and route the mail to a PO box or other box company. You can disable the computer and put up cameras in the living room as to who comes to the door.
If she owns the house, I would find the papers and "take" them for safe keeping.
If she doesn't have dementia and is of sound mind (put poor decisions) there isn't much you can do. It's her money and property and, if she's a gambler, she has a right to throw it all away.
If she's an addict, you could try taking her to GA meetings (Gamblers Anonymous). Stay with her during the meetings.
You could try to appeal to her that you'll need to have some money from her estate to give her a proper funeral.
You could try to see if she'll sign the house over to you or at least add you to the title.
May the crafty demons who pray on innocent elders rot where they belong!
Do be so quick to discount lawyers. A good Elder law attorney can be of great assistance. The laws can vary from state to state and you must know the laws where your Mom resides. There are many reasons to have such an attorney on your team.
Has given away all her money? You could try any consumer protection or trading standards organisations and see if they can help. I wouldn't hold your breath.
Is giving away all her money? Best to tackle the problem at the source - how are these people getting access to your mother?
Is it called "American Sweepstakes"? Having battled this problem myself for over 5 years, I do consider myself and expert and will do anything to help you. If you mom is the same as mine, then she won't stop. You can call the FTC, CIA, AARP, you name it and none of it will really help. If she's out of money, then she'll become a money launderer for them.
You need to attack the scammers. Meaning, find the number and call them. Leave messages, tell them you know everything that's going on. Prank call them. If you can, forward the scammers calls to you and answer when they call. Their whole game is anonymity so anything that exposes them will scare them.
They will try to scare you back. I've had suspicious cars parked in front of my house. They've sent sandwiches and pizzas to my house with his name "John Spenser" on the receipt. The jerk didn't even pay for it! Now, the delivery boys knew nothing but it was an intimidation tactic. For the suspicious cars, I walked right in front of them and snapped a picture of their license plates and they took off, never to be seen again. I doubt they knew why there were asked to park in front of my house. Just some dumb Uber driver.
The only success I've had with the feds is with the US Postal Inspection Service. About 4 years ago, I worked with them plus the head of the Jamaican police to capture one of the scammers that actually put his real name on a wire transfer. However, my mom's name just got routed to the next scammer and continued until her death which was two weeks ago. One of the last things she said was "take care of my winnings".....she was brainwashed until the end.
Fight back! If you're afraid, they've won. If you know the number, post it here and I'll call them for you :). Reach out to me if you have specific questions. I'll help you.
The elderly become gullible and easily scammed. I am not sure why this is. My Dad was the same way. Do you have POA? If so, you have control over this.
I find it so odd and yet so typical that the elderly person becomes very paranoid and distrusting of trustworthy family members, yet easily embraces and trusts a total stranger by phone and willingly gives up money and ID info to a stranger. Happens all the time.
There is a process where I live called financial conservatorship. It is a petition filed with the court in cases like this. The person who the court appoints as the financial conservator takes over the impaired person’s financial management. If the “impaired” person (the subject of the petition) is found to be capable, but just making decisions other people would not agree with, then the court will not appoint a conservator. A petitioner may proceed with or without an attorney, but getting advice from an attorney or an agency with experience in this arena is most helpful. Wishing you and your mother the best.
Now a days, scammers from all over the world will use a bogus telephone number that has a person's local area code, making it look like the call is from one's community. Most people tend to answer a local area code number.
What I do if I don't recognize the Caller ID, I answer the telephone using the name of the company where I work. The callers, if a live person, will remove my telephone number as they were targeting residential homeowners/renters.
My dad started falling for scams on the phone. He was convinced there was a Wal-Mart lottery. Family and friends said no. He refused to believe us, so he called Wal-Mart finally. My mom took away his checkbook and credit cards. I'd also get the phone disconnected, or physically remove the phone. Replace with a walkie talkie or personal monitor. Scammers can't win if they can't talk to people. Send mail to a PO. Box. A lot of scammers do cold calls where they just keep at it, till they get an elderly person. Then they call constantly to become their friend. My dad was getting weekly Jamaican calls. My mom turned phone volume down so dad didn't hear it. They left messages. She would erase them before he heard them. One time I had a guy call who tried to get me to give him my social#. He actually got mad and very demanding. I laughed at him. Very scary someone was doing that. I'm wonder if you answer the scammer on the phone; then leave it off the hook. It ties up their line for hours? They hang up but you don't. Ive had this happen by mistake when the other person put the phone back on the hook incorrectly. I couldnt use my phone. Good luck.
Personally, I wish that there were more laws in place to protect the elderly from scams, etc. While many with dementia or addictions are unable to fully understand the ramifications of their actions, and may not be able to stop themselves from falling into the "trap," how great it would be if more lawmakers would experience these gut-wrenching family issues with their own parents. Perhaps then something more serious would happen to those who prey on the elderly and the mentally ill.
I do agree that a good elder attorney is a huge help when something like this occurs.
For those of us who are of sound mind and have experienced fraud for ourselves, we know how difficult it is in this day and age to fight the online criminals, the phone "marketers," etc. Mix in age-related dementia, Alzheimer's, addictions, etc., and it's easy for the wrong kinds of people to take advantage of people who need protections.
I hope you're able to get the help you and your loved one need.
I wish I had a solution to offer you, but I do hope you can get help somehow. It's ridiculous how even "legit" companies will prey on the elderly. My mother, who constantly says she has no money and "can't even afford a cup of coffee" keeps on sending money to whomever sends her a piece of mail: Guideposts, Publisher's Clearing House, magazine subscriptions, Joel Olsteen, wildlife causes, "Indian schools", and anything that says she'll get something for "free" like return address labels and tote bags. Most recently, some "organization" that appears at first glance to be Social Security but isn't. They say to send them money and they'll keep it for the senior to have when social security runs out or is discontinued by the government. The logo looks like Social Security and Medicaid, and she actually thinks it's coming from them! I told her SS/Medicaid wouldn't be sending her letters asking for money and it's a scam. She just nods and says she won't send them anymore money, but next thing I know, I'm balancing her checkbook and she's sent them another check. UGH!!!!!
I'm not sure of the details about your situation, your mom's mental status and your relationship but I have one more idea to add to the ones above (which cover most of my thoughts). If you are involved enough in her life and care and she is welcoming it you might think about giving her one account either with a card attached or also a prepaid type CC (or both) that limits her ready access to all the funds. That way she still has independent control over some funds but not so much that it can wipe her out. Tell her as much or as little about what you are setting up as you see fit and I don't mean that you should take her off the other accounts just make her access to them harder. The account or accounts she has less easy access to are what need to be set aside for bills, monthly expenses and a cushion for emergencies... Then make sure you or whoever she has appointed for financial things, has access to everything, all accounts on-line and her SS as well as any other incoming money is deposited electronically to the secure account not the one she is operating out of day to day. Depending on your relationship and the situation you might want to help her make this her idea or have it come from some financial authority, a lawyer or banker, that she trusts or you might just set it up and ease her into it without even realizing. Not hiding it just not drawing attention to it. This is sort of the way it just happened with my mom, she already had a couple of accounts and we moved things around so she is operating out of one that my brother who oversees most of that, puts money into but it's the other that her SS goes into and he pays the bills from. She knows about all the accounts of course but really isn't able to manage them which is why we took over with her support (and in writing) and the one she draws from is all she can even consume. It works for us and we didn't have any push back on this to speak of, now to be fair she hasn't been able to support herself either and my brother in particular but each of us in our own realms are the only reason she survives financially and she knows it so opening her accounts hasn't been an issue at all.
Thankfully my mother lives in a small town of 12,000 and we called the bank and warned them of her mental condition and they told us to decide a dollar limit of how much she can normally take out and then they put a warning on the account for anything above that so she can't take out more than that at a time. We are also rerouting funds to an investment account which she has access to but doesn't remember how to use it. She finally turned over most of the finances to us because she forgot how to write checks properly. I'm in process to get banks to recognize that dementia patients sound normal and together when they are endangering themselves. Also the practitioners talk to her when she is in her good hours and she sounds very convincing that she's fine!
I wonder if most of the elderly who fall for these scams are people who would have seen through it a few years earlier, or if they are simply unaware of how things work today. For example, would one who today sends money to a caller posing as the IRS just have laughed and hung up in the past, or would s/he simply have done it at either age simply by not knowing that the IRS doesn't make such calls? I would think that in the case of advanced dementia, both factors might be at work, while those without dementia (which would include many younger people, too) are responding out of ignorance.
By the way, one needs to be aware of scammers who charge "fees" to install antivirus protection on a computer. The makers of the antiviruses make you aware of their price up front and don't authorize others to charge extra installation fees. At a lecture on fighting viruses and malware, the speaker said some of these people are very slick so one shouldn't feel bad if duped by them--I had it happen to me the first time I tried to install one of these products. Fortunately, many elderly people might not even be using computers or at least not responsible for maintaining them, and the charges involved aren't as great as what other kinds of scams bilk.
Ellie, it’s frustrating how our parent who is “slipping” can put on a show when they are mingling within their community.
My mom had her bank, post office, mechanic, local merchants and church peeps mostly convinced she was her same old self — just slower and greyer. The truth was much more complex.
As the truth-teller, I got a lot of blank stares, push-back and outright arguments from people who (I thought) should know better.
As the caregiver, planner (well, I tried to game-plan) and the voice of reason, I got so so weary of the gaslighting.
There are at least two categories of scammers: the IRS type is an outright fraud, and those should be illegal (I realize it's hard to trace them), and then there are companies and organizations who do exist but do overstep the boundaries of responsible business practice. It would be harder to unhook from these because they do do what they claim (I stopped some of those years ago by asking the people on the phone how much of their income actually goes to their cause). I like the idea of leaving the phone off the hook--at least it ties up your line for a while, which can be an advantage. I get a bunch of spam calls at work, which I simply hang up on immediately. I was told at one point that the Do Not Call system exempts businesses. Are there phone systems which limit the calls that they allow?
Scamming people is at an all time high. An elderly person will fall prey to this. It may be worth it to hire an elder law attorney to protect her remaining assets, small as they may be.
Remember, a person can seek to become a Representative Payee to get authority over Social Security funds/routing of deposits/ control of main record. This can help a responsible person establish fiscal control when a person may be unwilling to do a POA, doesnt yet need a guardian, but is showing clear signs of requiring assistance. (Cannot use funds appropriately to provide for their own care, poor judgement, and rarly needs assistance)
Warning: I got a phone call the other day that claimed to be the electric people saying that I had to pay then before 3pm that day or my phone would be shut off. I told them we are tenants here and the landlord pays, and they tried to say we were listed as alternate payor. He left a phone number to call back to arrange payment. I immediately called the electric company and gave them that number; they also said I could call the police dept.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
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I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
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You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If not, how do the scams contact her? If by phone, try to get the info and report them to the FTC. Try to get her mail before she does. Contact the scams in writing, like email and ask to be taken off mailing list. If they send a self addressed prepaid envelope, send back the information with Moms name and addressed circled and "take me off your mailing list".
I don’t think scammers will leave your mom alone as long as they think she has anything left they can get.
Somehow the connection must be broken. Is it through the mail, over the phone, on the computer?
Does she have an addiction to gambling? Most addicts need help to stop the cycle.
If it’s through the mail you might want to change her address to a post office box and you manage it.
If it’s on an email, you might need to take her computer or cancel her email account.
On the phone, maybe change her number?
Your question reminded me of episodes I’ve seen on Dr Phil. I went to his website and searched for lottery. I found information on who to contact including a phone number for the FTC. It had information on what emails might contain to get the receiver hooked.
Here is the link for email scams.
Let us know more details of how this happened. We learn from each other.
drphil.com/advice/beware-of-e-mail-scams/
If she owns the house, I would find the papers and "take" them for safe keeping.
If she doesn't have dementia and is of sound mind (put poor decisions) there isn't much you can do. It's her money and property and, if she's a gambler, she has a right to throw it all away.
If she's an addict, you could try taking her to GA meetings (Gamblers Anonymous). Stay with her during the meetings.
You could try to appeal to her that you'll need to have some money from her estate to give her a proper funeral.
You could try to see if she'll sign the house over to you or at least add you to the title.
May the crafty demons who pray on innocent elders rot where they belong!
Is giving away all her money? Best to tackle the problem at the source - how are these people getting access to your mother?
You need to attack the scammers. Meaning, find the number and call them. Leave messages, tell them you know everything that's going on. Prank call them. If you can, forward the scammers calls to you and answer when they call. Their whole game is anonymity so anything that exposes them will scare them.
They will try to scare you back. I've had suspicious cars parked in front of my house. They've sent sandwiches and pizzas to my house with his name "John Spenser" on the receipt. The jerk didn't even pay for it! Now, the delivery boys knew nothing but it was an intimidation tactic. For the suspicious cars, I walked right in front of them and snapped a picture of their license plates and they took off, never to be seen again. I doubt they knew why there were asked to park in front of my house. Just some dumb Uber driver.
The only success I've had with the feds is with the US Postal Inspection Service. About 4 years ago, I worked with them plus the head of the Jamaican police to capture one of the scammers that actually put his real name on a wire transfer. However, my mom's name just got routed to the next scammer and continued until her death which was two weeks ago. One of the last things she said was "take care of my winnings".....she was brainwashed until the end.
Fight back! If you're afraid, they've won. If you know the number, post it here and I'll call them for you :). Reach out to me if you have specific questions. I'll help you.
Jon Wren
What I do if I don't recognize the Caller ID, I answer the telephone using the name of the company where I work. The callers, if a live person, will remove my telephone number as they were targeting residential homeowners/renters.
My mom took away his checkbook and credit cards. I'd also get the phone disconnected, or physically remove the phone. Replace with a walkie talkie or personal monitor.
Scammers can't win if they can't talk to people. Send mail to a PO. Box.
A lot of scammers do cold calls where they just keep at it, till they get an elderly person. Then they call constantly to become their friend. My dad was getting weekly Jamaican calls. My mom turned phone volume down so dad didn't hear it. They left messages. She would erase them before he heard them.
One time I had a guy call who tried to get me to give him my social#. He actually got mad and very demanding. I laughed at him. Very scary someone was doing that.
I'm wonder if you answer the scammer on the phone; then leave it off the hook. It ties up their line for hours? They hang up but you don't. Ive had this happen by mistake when the other person put the phone back on the hook incorrectly. I couldnt use my phone. Good luck.
I do agree that a good elder attorney is a huge help when something like this occurs.
For those of us who are of sound mind and have experienced fraud for ourselves, we know how difficult it is in this day and age to fight the online criminals, the phone "marketers," etc. Mix in age-related dementia, Alzheimer's, addictions, etc., and it's easy for the wrong kinds of people to take advantage of people who need protections.
I hope you're able to get the help you and your loved one need.
By the way, one needs to be aware of scammers who charge "fees" to install antivirus protection on a computer. The makers of the antiviruses make you aware of their price up front and don't authorize others to charge extra installation fees. At a lecture on fighting viruses and malware, the speaker said some of these people are very slick so one shouldn't feel bad if duped by them--I had it happen to me the first time I tried to install one of these products. Fortunately, many elderly people might not even be using computers or at least not responsible for maintaining them, and the charges involved aren't as great as what other kinds of scams bilk.
My mom had her bank, post office, mechanic, local merchants and church peeps mostly convinced she was her same old self — just slower and greyer. The truth was much more complex.
As the truth-teller, I got a lot of blank stares, push-back and outright arguments from people who (I thought) should know better.
As the caregiver, planner (well, I tried to game-plan) and the voice of reason, I got so so weary of the gaslighting.