She is mean selfish and cruel and enjoys every min of that behavior she would not sell her home to live with us and my husband decided to move into hers and she uses that agents me all the time even though it's her needs that put me hear help plz im going off the deep end .
Respect and gratitude for cergivers is what you think you should have - and you should! - but with the mildly impaired elderly person you are describing, you will get resentment and gruffness because they want 100% full time taken care of and don't understand why they can't have that, and AT THE SAME TIME hate needing to be taken care of. Don't you realize that now, despite her never actually saying it out loud, that in her eyes you are the one who keeps her son from being 100% devoted to her? Don't let her stares and glares and other behaviors eat you alive emotionally on top of the sacrifice of your own home and privacy that you have made. She is not a going fount of wisdom or one to have a reasonable perspective on anything now, if she ever was. Lock the door and have sex anyways.
Don't put up with it; whether she lives in your house or you end up in the purgatory that'll probably be hers.
Resentment festers. No matter how long you try to ignore the problem or walk away from it, eventually that woman-to-woman talk is going to happen. Your husband might have to referee, and probably they'll gang up against you. If a compromise isn't reached, I suggest going out for a long walk to figure out what other options you have that don't include tolerating that kind of abuse.
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