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I've discussed this issue. She has a hearing aid but it supposedly hurts. I'm over it.

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I never found the answer with my Mom.

we got her the rather expensive hearing aides....(she complained of the ambient noise levels on the one “off the shelf”). But, she still would not wear them. After a lot of fuss...she did start wearing them...but would keep them turned off. Said no one said anything she wanted to hear anyway.

finally, I taught her a couple of simple signs in ASL. (Yes, no, coffee, please, etc). Not for her to use...but so I could offer her basic needs.

just as a side note. After her stroke...she suffered from aphasia. Unable to speak anything but a jumbled mess ... but she was still able to use ASL to ask for basic stuff.
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MountainMoose Feb 2020
Genius level!
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My FIL had refused to be fitted for hearing aids. He kept saying "What?" when anyone was having a conversation, even if he wasn't participating in the conversation and was just sitting there. It was annoying and we stopped repeating ourselves and stopped shouting. We basically allowed conversations to continue flowing. Yes, I suppose it was rude, but no more rude than him shouting "What?" ever 30 seconds. He finally got his hearing tested and got hearing aids. When he doesn't wear them and he shouts "What?" we tell him to put in his hearing aids.
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Maybe take up that pretense to deafness yourself, so she understands a bit. Of course if Mom has dementia that won't work. Some ears are very sensitive and I think I wouldn't wear one in that case, myself. And clearly she isn't caring enough about what you are saying to want to hear it. Oh oh! My doc always asks if I would like to see someone about my right ear hearing being so far gone; I always say I hear more than I want to hear.
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