She doesn't want to get dressed, take a bath, put her dirty dishes in the dish washer. The rest of the day she sits in her chair with or without the tv on full blast and sleep. I'm beyond frustrated because she is so sweet natured and kind. Help me. I am not a trained caregiver, just the daughter I law .
I would be grateful that she is sweet natured and kind, as that is often not the case with people who have dementia. They can be challenging and resistant to care. As the person's dementia progresses, they are not able to process things like chores, house keeping, hygiene, etc. They can't be expected to handle those things. Their brains lose the ability to be able to focus on it and the memory of how to do it. They may even believe that they have already done it, due to their memory loss.
I'd read on this site about ways to convince the person to allow the assistance of a bath aid or to allow a family member to assist them. It can be challenging as many people with dementia no longer want to bathe or shower.
I might discuss future care of her with your husband as caregiving for someone with this condition is a huge job.
A bath aide might be a really good idea. Sometimes a matter-of-fact professional gets better cooperation than a family member.
Wireless headphones for the television saved my sanity!
It is good to encourage persons with dementia to do as much for themselves as they can ... but that works best with things they want! Rather than wait on her, encourage her to get her own snack. But if she hates getting dressed, that is something you probably need to help her with.
Be grateful for her sweet nature. And if she can still follow television programs, rejoice! Cherish what you can while you can!
She may have forgotten how to do ordinary things. Even putting dishes in the dishwasher is a challenge for my husband. He avoids anything he's unsure about, because he doesn't want to look incompetent. He has started sitting in whatever room I am in, because he's bored and afraid when he doesn't see me.
How old is your MIL? If she's 60, then maybe you should try to move her more. If she's 88, then that old rocking chair has got her, and she's just going to keep slowing down. Toi feel good about caring for her, maybe your goal is to make her smile, and that is success. You probably do need some help. Ask your local senior center or Area Agency on Aging.
Best wishes to you.
http://www.ncdhhs.gov/assistance/adult-services/senior-centers
And yes you're very lucky that she is sweet - my mom's mood can change in an instant and glimpses of her old jovial self are rarer and rarer these days.