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She's in a vicious cycle. She's had accidents and peed on herself (while wearing a heavy duty brief), so she won't drink anything, which is causing dehydration, which causes extreme confusion, and then she pees all over the floor, toilet seat and herself. She has dementia and Parkinson's, so it's very difficult to reason with her.


Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

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There is a new product called Jelly Drops. They are like a candy but are designed for exactly this purpose. They are 95% water and sugar free. You can order them online and can subscribe to get them on a regular basis.
Good luck!
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Kimbof Jun 5, 2022
Oh that’s a great idea! Thanks
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Is there any chance she won't drink because she has developed dysphagia and needs her fluids thickened? Periodically choking/gagging on water was the first thing that plagued my mom.

https://www.thickenupclear.com/
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This may sound like it wouldn’t work but I started my DH aunt on the small water bottles years ago. They are small so they are easy for her to hold and are less intimidating because they look like not that much water. I would have one with her. Never cold, just room temp. She would drink it right down.
Another thing to try is a straw, as in a milk shake or protein drink with ice cream and whipped cream on top.
Aunt would no longer eat soup. I think it had something to do with spooning the liquid to her mouth. I couldn’t get her to drink soup either although she loved hot chocolate and coffee. Watermelon she really likes and also likes to peel the little cutie tangelos and suck the juice. Again a small item and easy to peel was a plus.
Jello cubes with whipped cream was always a hit.
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When people begin to ignore natural survival instincts, it means that they are close to dying. Thirst is a survival instinct. Even animals don't forget it. The ER can't save her. They will hydrate her and will send her back home where she will refuse to drink, again. She needs hospice care. Not every problem will have a happy solution.
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Popsicles & watermelon are both good ideas, along with the small water bottles which you can flavor with Crystal Lite. Milkshakes are also another tasty idea that she might like and also offer hydration.

I have to tell you, my mother who also had dementia refused to drink liquids too.........for years, b/c she didn't want to have to pee. This went on pre dementia and post dementia............and she managed to live to the ripe old age of 95 and did not die of dehydration. She said she never felt thirsty, so it wasn't like she was ignoring a need, either.

I'm sorry you are going through such a difficult situation; I know how hard it is to want our mother's to do certain things & having them refuse to. Sending you a hug and a prayer for peace, no matter how things turn out.
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Try Watermelon and soups. Many other fruits and veggies are 90% water. Just google "water rich foods".
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My mom didn’t drink but she had dry mouth so she would suck on mouth lozenges. She was using about 14 a day. I found Propel (electrolyte drink or vitamin drink) for her. It is sweet and I open 2 of them and put straws in them. She drinks more with a straw. She now drinks 2 a day which is all I wanted her to drink. She has not had a UTI since she started drinking more and I also got her Cranberry pills to assuage the liquids. When I am with her, I pick up the bottle with the straw in it and hand it to her. She is like a baby bird in that she will take it and drink it. She can down a lot with the straw.
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I am so sorry you and your Mum are facing this challenge.

Will she eat soup, melon, popsicles, watery foods?

Had she had IV rehydration?
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Hi Tammy, that’s a tough spot you’re in!! The first thought that came to mind was to bribe her. Thinking back to my childhood when I had to eat dinner before I could get dessert 😊. Those things that she loves to do( and I hope they’re still present) like certain foods or activities. Tell her we can do this or that but, first you have to drink ( maybe a hall cup of water but fill glass up though.. she may drink it all). Hopefully it will work.. fingers crossed😊. Also speak with her medical team for advice as well.
It is a truly new journey “parenting our parents” and navigating through new waters can be stressful but, hang in there and be creative!
My best you you💕
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Give her her favorite drinks. To avoid accidents, take her automatically to the toilet every 2 hours, allowing her to urinate and check for wetness and underwear change. My mom hates drinking plain water, so I give her different flavored waters. She loves it. Every 2 hours or so, we take her to the toilet as she cannot express when she needs to go.
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