It seems whenever she has a captive audience she will complain about something in regards to my husband or I. In the beginning we were able to overlook what she said, but they are becoming more and more frequent and sometimes hurtful. At 95 her vocabulary has become quite limited, but she sure can spew out something about us! We have been sharing our home with her for 3 years now and certainly want this to continue. Any suggestions how to improve this situation without offending her?
On the question of how you might then improve things, to be blunt not offending *her* isn't really the issue, is it? She's perfectly content to offend both of you!
But what you do need to get to the bottom of is whether she is capable of mending her ways, and at 95 and - next question - possibly suffering a decline in brain function she may well not be capable. In which case, it becomes a problem of how you and your husband learn to deal with having a rude little gremlin sitting in your home.
Please do tell us more, in any case. I'm sorry for how hurtful and stressful this must be.
Put her on the spot when she verbally berates you. Make her uncomfortable when she talks that way. Then she'll be embarrassed that she's been mean. She'll have no answer to your question and she may mend her ways.
If you just "keep taking it" and there are no repercussions, there's no reason she would change.