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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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The only way that you can help directly with her accounts is to have a PoA or become a "signer" on her checking accounts. My Mom did her own billl paying until recently. I now pay her bills...I use the online bill-pay which saves so much time and there is a way to monitor her accounts for her. If your Mother is of sound mind and does not want your assistance, I do not think there is much you could do. Have you spoken with her about your concerns? Is she conciously overspending or does she not have awareness of what she is spending? Either way, I can see that this could become a big problem. good luck, Lilli
Start a conversation with bare, unemotional facts. Such-and-such a check bounced. Such-and-such expenses were paid and there's only so-and-so much left. You'll see where her head is in a conversation like that.
If you find yourself in the realm of emotions, not facts, take it easy. Realize that she will feel judged (and you're probably judging her!). Make your emotion-based statements about yourself ("I'm worried....") not about her ("You're making bad decisions...")
Stay on her side. Both of you want the future to go well. And take it one step at a time.
As a daily money manager, I often help older adults to understand what money is coming in, and what is going out, and then we put a budget together. I also help them to reconcile their accounts at the end of the month (or do it for them). You might try this and see if it helps.
I'll be the devil's advocate on this one. I have a sister that tried to control my mother's enjoyment of retirement by telling her not to travel, go out to eat or even play bingo. These expenses would lessen her inheritance. She also had our mother take a second mortgage out to help her live above her means. So as long as your mother is of sound mind, not being swindled or giving her money away needlessly, it's really not your place to control her spending.
My mother is at risk of being swindled, spending what she doesn't have and is in the beginning stages of dementia. It is for her safety that I am concerned about, not her money.
I wrote without looking at your page...I am sorry...you need to seek legal advice....my mother was diagnosed with AD/dementia at an early stage and she was much too trusting...getting a POA while your mother is still competent is very important...good luck and I apologize for being judgemental
i am working as part time caregiver of mom with less than 85 hrs a month paid by the in-home supportive services or IHSS. However, due to her very ripe age and incapacitated condition, i do service her round the clock for her safety. Now that i am so much exhausted and drained of my strength due to my permanent and stationary disability, hence i am planning to just service her maybe 12 or 14 hrs in a day so i could take care of my health. But what worries me is how could my mother be able to move for the remaining hours that i am not around her ? I suggested to her that it would be better for her to stay in a nursing facility if this is the case but she refuses. What will i do inorder to convince her and will i be responsible for my mother just in case . I have never neglected her anyway but the only thing i am shortening my service with her is to protect myself from being sick too ...am diabetic, i have knee problem and severe carpal tunnel and neck n back pains as well. Help me, please and thanks.
Bless you for taking such good care of your mother. You are absolutely correct that you must take care of your own health. How did IHSS come up with 85 hours a month? If your mother is not able to stay alone you need to discuss this with the agency. If around-the-clock care is needed and they cannot provide that in her home, then Mom may need a nursing facility. What is the nature of your mother's impairments? Is she of sound mind? What kind of assistance does she need?
take her to the doctor. In private speak with her doctor. Hopefully the doctor will write or fax a letter to the Soc. Sec. office stating she is Not competant to handle her medical or money finances. The Soc. Sec. will make an appointment Not including her. Bingo, Become an Authorized Representative. Take the Acceptance letter to the bank. She or NO ONE will be able to get the money except the Authorized Rep. This protects her. FYI: you will have to keep all receipts, IRS will send you a form at the end of the year asking How much money was spent on Meds, Rent, and how much money is left. DURABLE POWER OF ATTORNEY should be consider while waiting.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If your Mother is of sound mind and does not want your assistance, I do not think there is much you could do. Have you spoken with her about your concerns? Is she conciously overspending or does she not have awareness of what she is spending? Either way, I can see that this could become a big problem.
good luck,
Lilli
If you find yourself in the realm of emotions, not facts, take it easy. Realize that she will feel judged (and you're probably judging her!). Make your emotion-based statements about yourself ("I'm worried....") not about her ("You're making bad decisions...")
Stay on her side. Both of you want the future to go well. And take it one step at a time.
Good luck!
Sheri