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That doesn't tell us much to go on. Your mom? her age , her health?

Can you give us more to go?

A generic answer would be she may have some dementia and she is scared her independence will be taken away from her
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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we would need to know medical and legal status.
Has she been unevaluated ? does she still have official decision making capacity?

I assume since she doesnt want any help, no one has been appointed power of attorney (POA) or anything like that?
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Reply to strugglinson
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What country, state, county is she in (so that others in similar area can share their knowledge with you)....?

Do any family members live in proximity to her?

What help have you tried to provide for her to date?

What are her specific daily needs, or dangerous living conditions (like does she wander outside, drive unsafely, leave an empty pot on a burner, etc)?
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Reply to Geaton777
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Maybe you don't. Let things play out as they will.
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Reply to Fawnby
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You don't. Let her son handle it.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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In the same boat right now . We are waiting for mother in law to fall (again), or end up in the hospital with a medical problem to try to set up care. But often we don't find out until she's back home again. Nothing we can do since she is competent, she also refuses to assign POA to anyone if needed some day. She is currently still living at home with a blood clot in her leg at the moment. Needs a walker and refuses. She needs to have an aide coming to the house or move to assisted living and she refuses.

A wise social worker once told me some of them have to fail before they will accept help. Something will happen (like a fall, or medical emergency )to force a change.

Is your mother in law competent ?

If you think she has dementia and is living alone unsafe, you can call her local County Area of Aging for a needs assessment, or APS.

Also you do NOT need to BE the help. You AND your HUSBAND can set up help to come to her, or help her find a place to live where she will have a full staff of help. Do not volunteer yourselves to be slaves. I already did that because my parents refused help to come into the home. DON'T be the slave. My MIL lives 4 hours away, we can not do hands on , however, she needs help.

Also do not have a difficult elderly person move in with you, and don't move in with her.
Good Luck
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Reply to waytomisery
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It’s not possible to help someone who doesn’t want help.

As hard as it is, step away. Your husband can do whatever he feels is best.
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
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If there’s a dementia diagnosis and she’s unable to make sound decisions your husband or other family member makes decisions on her behalf despite any protests from her. This is the time she’s in a place of relying on family to look out for her when she’s no longer capable of doing so for herself. If there’s no dementia diagnosis and she simply doesn’t want help, you back off and leave her alone. This is the only way she will ever see any need for help. The wise social workers say “events will happen that will force change” and it’s very true. Meanwhile, don’t argue and cajole, let her figure it out
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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More info is needed. Her age, her health problems.

You don't help. You husband helps his mother. You support your husband by helping him.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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