I have recently started a new job as a home carer. I love it, but I find that I am getting attached to a number of my clients. Nothing that would raise red flags, just working about them and their health. I know these people aren't going to be in my care for a long time, so how do I stop myself from getting too attached to them?
Don't worry about caring too much. Worry about caring too little. I DO caution you against keeping a relationship with an elder no longer in your care, or accepting invitations, gifts, any personal relationship ongoing. That is entering muddy waters. Don't do it.
Just try to remember that life includes death, and no one escapes it. That you can be there to help these folks through the last part of their lives is a treasure. You can learn a lot from these wonderful people, so embrace them while they're here, and save a little piece of your heart for them when they're gone.
You are not their family.
However, I certainly agree that when you go home, you need to leave the job and concerns for your clients behind. If you find yourself worrying about them, stop. Ask yourself what you need to do to focus on taking care of yourself and your life, whether it be your physical and mental health, hobbies, long-term goals, etc. Congratulations on finding fulfillment in what can be a very demanding job.
Thanks for taking on this important career; we need more home caretakers in our society.
Yes, but we need more caretakers in general, esp those with HEART!
You have a big heart & a kind soul. Give yourself time to adjust to a new job and everything will fall into place.
Good luck!
"Make new friends, but keep the old.
One is silver, the other is gold."
I actually had to look it up to figure out where this came from - it's an old girl scout tune (I wasn't even a scout very long, but I remember those lines!) As with any job or other activity in life, we meet people, we get attached to some, but we may move on and over time some of the relationships fade away. We can still fondly remember the good times, the happy moments, but still move on in life. As others have said, whatever leads to moving on from the client, keep your memories, but cut all the ties. It will be hard at first, but over time it will be easier for you.
I'm sure it will be especially hard with some clients, whether they no longer need care, move, you change jobs, or they pass on, but as with anyone you lose touch with in life, remember those happy times. If you are happy and cheerful and truly enjoy your work, it will shine through to them and they will appreciate it! Fondly remember the smiles you bring to their faces.
Also know that you aren't alone. Other replies attest to that. My mother just recently passed. They had to move her out of MC in order for us to visit (due to the virus.) Multiple aides came upstairs to see mom in their free moments, even in the wee hours of the morning, because they missed her. Some came in on their day off too. The outpouring of care from so many who worked there was heartwarming. I already knew my mother was well cared for and loved by many, but the extent of care and sympathy extended when she passed just revealed how much more they cared! Every single one told me how much they will miss her now that she's gone.
As others have said, try not to bring the worry you might have home with you. Whatever the cause of the worry, know you can't fix it all, you can just do your best when you are with your clients and hope to make their day a little better, and brighter than it was before. Leave your concerns at the door when you go home or to the next client (if you have any serious concerns about a client, regarding their health or well-being, certainly seek a supervisor to report your concerns, but let them decide how to handle those!)
Lastly, don't ever lose that ability to connect with your clients. It really can make a big difference.
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