Both parents are living together in a single family home with 2 small dogs. Mother is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and Dad is not far behind. In the 2 1/2 years they’ve lived in this house (close to me and my sister) They have each been to the hospital several times from falling or medical problems. They cannot handle the dogs anymore. They’ve gotten away from her on a busy road (she takes them on a leash out front instead of the fenced in back yard) These things all happen at night so it’s no use hiring someone to come help them. They need to be in assisted living but will have a fit if we mention it. We cannot take their dogs.
My Dad had a really nice 2 bedroom apartment in Independent Living, he used the equity from his house sale to pay the rent. It was his idea to move as he was so tired of trying to maintain a single family home being he was in his 90's. Plus he was a major fall risk. And all those stairs in that house.
Later on, the facility said it was time for my Dad to move into Memory Care. I used a theraputic fib to tell Dad this would be cheaper and that perked up Dad's ears, he loved saving money. He would joke about his new college dorm room :)
Now, when my Mom was still alive, she refused big time to move, even though she was in her late 90's, and of course my Dad wouldn't move without her. She thought senior living was for old people. Ah HELLO !! Mom wouldn't budge, so sadly we had to wait until there was a medical emergency, thus 911, hospital, rehab, long-term-care. Oh how Dad wished Mom would have listened to reason... [sigh].
Dogs are allowed in many of the Independent Living facilities. Usually the residents had hired "dog walkers" to take the dogs out to do their business. The dogs I saw at my Dad's facility were very quiet.
Have you addressed how terrible it would be if they got run over right in front of her because of the choices she's making?
I think that finding a nice place that you think they would be able to live at and taking them there for lunch or dinner and a tour. Usually going to the business office you can by meal tickets for about 60% of the price they charge in the dining room.
Make a big deal about all the benefits, meals prepared, housekeeping, laundry services, transportation, etc. and just make it sound like the best idea ever.
I told my dad he would finally have servants. He enjoyed that idea, because that hit his button. Your parents have theirs, so no shame in pushing them to the hilt to get them safe.