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Almost two years ago my BIL was admitted into the hospital with kidney failure. While he was there, we went to his condo to see if it was safe for him to return. We hadn't been there in 15+ years and weren't overly surprised at what we found. It looked like a hoarding situation, smelled as bad, had mold on the walls, carpet had been removed because of a water leak, etc. The plumbing wasn't working and he told us he peed in a cup when he had to use the restroom. We also discovered bed bugs in his apartment AND vehicle that got inadvertently transferred to our home before we realized he had them. So you get the picture....


We talked to his doctors and social workers at that time trying to convince them that we needed to take over as POA. They couldn't/wouldn't do it.


Fast forward to a few weeks ago...He was admitted to the hospital after being found passed out outside his apartment. He was released after a few days and then readmitted five days later with diabetes out of control, kidney failure, and double covid pneumonia (he tested negative for covid during the first hospital stay.) He survived but we now find outselves in a similar predicament. He has been moved to a rehab facility to recover and regain some strength. We haven't seen his apartment but suspect it is in similar shape as his condo was. The bed bugs are still there because he refuses to admit he has them (he doesn't show bites so I think he is immune to them; is that possible?)


We desperately feel like we need to take over for him and move him to a facility. He is only 65 years old but obviously displaying some dementia symptoms as well as some other mental health issues that haven't been diagnosed. How do we convince the doctors to invoke his POA's?


Note: my profile says I/we care for my mother in our home so this is a separate problem, unfortunately. It seems we are in the caregiving business for many family members.

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Being mentally ill isn't a reason that a doctor will declare a patient incompetent. In fact, many many mentally ill patients live in our country both with and without any treatment. You say that "obviously" there is some dementia. It would be important to have your relative tested then for dementia, as that IS a diagosis that would allow the POA to be invoked. Hoarding is also not considered a sign of incompetency, and is not a reason that a POA would be allowed.
The truth here is that, with a 65 years "young" BIL you may need to step away. If this gentleman is in rehab currently you as family should inform social services at the facility the circumstances of his living and the admissions that have occurred because of it. If your BIL has been exhibiting some symptoms of dementia the Social Workers may be able, under the "excuse " of discharge planning, be able to visit the home, and then make application for temporary guardianship for a family member. However, be informed that the state is very loathe to take the rights of a citizen from him (or her) and your BIL, if he seems competent during a court hearing, may request this guardianship be removed.
Do know that being guardian for your BIL will leave you with a veritable nightmare in terms of involuntary placement, and leave you also with a household of bedbugs and hoarding. You would be the "Fiduciary" responsible to the courts for every single penny into and out of your BIL accounts, and all the while he could be fighting you with attorneys provided him by the state. Should you lose guardianship (a fight for which can run to 10,000) you would be responsible for paying that. And possibly his fees as well.
I would leave the legal dealings to the State. I doubt you can help this man. You have tried and it has not so far gone well. I doubt it would go better in future unless he truly IS very demented and diagnosed as such by two doctors.
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Have you been assigned POA and just need it invoked by a doctor saying he can no longer make informed decisions?

If your BIL can make decisions on his own, a POA is not in effect. If he has Dementia or a mental illness, he may not be able to assign someone. Do you have excess to his apt? If so call Adult Protection Services and see if they will evaluate his situation. If they find that releasing him would be unsafe, then allow them to take over his care. They can get him in a NH quicker than u can. A State guardian will be assigned to his care.

I would be addimate that you can not care for him and that releasing him from rehab will be an "unsafe discharge". Again, the State can take over his care.
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I would contact APS. No toilet would be considered a reason for them to intervene.

People can live like pigs if they want but, no services available in the home changes the situation.

Please get APS involved to protect him from himself. Be sure and warn them about the bed bugs.
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If you are the assigned PoA and need a diagnosis of incapacity, then he may be mentally able to pass a cognitive/memory exam but his physical capacity is another story. Perhaps you can pursue it on those grounds? Just because he's a hoarder doesn't mean he's mentally incompetent. The doc gives him a test and the test result is what determines his fitness to make decisions, along with the language in the PoA (springing or durable) so check your document.

If you're not PoA and he chooses to not assign you because he's not cognitively incapacitated, there's nothing you can do. Even calling APS probably won't result in any action since he's capable of making his own decisions.

If you're not PoA and he fails a cognitive exam or becomes physically incapacitated, there's nothing you can do except call APS to keep reporting him until he's bad enough for them to pursue guardianship and then place him in a facility and begin to manage his affairs.

If his condo has an association, I'd take pictures and show them what sort or pigsty has developed. If I were his bordering neighbor I'd be upset and concerned --- especially about the bedbugs. You can also show pictures to APS to see what they say about it.

I realize it is shocking to realize what's going on but if he isn't incapacitated he gets to still call all the shots and there's nothing you can legally do except wait for a health or housing crisis.
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Isthisrealyreal Aug 2021
Geaton, just so you know, non functional toilet in a home will get intervention from APS. It is a danger to the individual and it could effect the community.

I know from personal experience that they don't do squat in some pretty rough situations but, not having a toilet is a whole other issue. You also are required by law to have water. Crazy rules and regs for intervention.
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