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Mom had to move out of the house she had been living in for 28 years. The house did not belong to her and she had to leave almost everything behind. She is not able to go back and go through everything and it is very disturbing to her. Help!

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Such a shame. My Mom was in the later stages of Dementia when we needed to place her and never mentioned home. Thank God she was not a collector. If it had to be dusted, she did not have it. Me, did not take after Mom.

Could you tell her that as a favor you already went thru her things and that family took their favorite things? And she has what she needs where she is?
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Reply to JoAnn29
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Tell her she has everything she needs .
Then change the subject.
You could bring her a few new things , blouses , a pretty wall art .
Is she on any med to calm her down ?
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Reply to waytomisery
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Bless her and your hearts. I literally had to dismantle my mom’s entire life in a state 1000 miles from mine, leaving almost EVERYTHING behind as well. It was o tough pill to swallow for me-feeling guilty. But reality must override the guilt. You’ll have to unfortunately “learn” her to best understand how to soothe her in those moments. The hardest part for me was her constantly announcing “I’m ready to go home now/Im leaving!” There’s nothing to go back to. She’s been with me since March and finally has stopped with the I wanna go home bit. It would just crawl all through me every time she’d say it because going back was not an option. I vowed never to lie to her so I’d explain over and over that “I can’t take care of you from afar-this is what is available and best for you right now”. I’d also ask her to explain what we could do to make it better “if” she just had to stay in Florida. It used to hurt me to my core.

I pray for your resolve to come quickly. God bless you both
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Reply to NewlyGiving
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You need to redirect her onto a new subject because loop thinking is par for the course with dementia. Ask her doctor for some mild calming meds to help her cope with this loss.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Since she has dementia, she will likely keep asking the same question many times. So, be ready with a vague answer that you can repeat as many times as she asks and also be ready with a new topic of conversation. I would say something like "Hmm I'm not really sure. I'll have to look into it. It might take awhile." Then ask a question or tell her a quick story.
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Reply to againx100
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There really is nothing here but to tell her the truth, that the home is not hers and that her things are no longer there. You can tell her that the things were removed and no longer exist. I don't know what else you could conceivably do. We are very attached to our "stuff" and she is likely to always obsess on this loss. You will just have to tell her it is done, and the things are gone. This would be disturbing to anyone, let alone to someone with some dementia, but the sad fact is that not everything can be fixed.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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