Our brother has already received close to $30,000 this year (January-August) by asking our Mom for money. She doesn’t remember from day to day what he has weaseled from her. So far this year, she’s funded several trips, one of which was an overseas trip. She pays his bills, pays for a maid, funds his “fun time,” buys his groceries....etc. We have asked him to stop taking her to the bank to cash large checks, but he continues. He works part time because he knows she’ll pay for everything. We do not live in the same city but go every other week to take care of everything..from household work, caregivers, bank accounts...etc. He does nothing for her but take her to the grocery store because she’ll buy all of his groceries. He doesn’t fix things, help out with home maintenance, won’t take her to church or any other social activities unless it benefits him. So far that isn’t only out to eat or to the grocery store. He doesn’t even stay around to visit with her. We have cameras/alerts at all outside doors so that we can monitor the activity and monitor who comes and goes. She does have a lady that now lives with her but we can’t ask her to get involved.
This is a very tough one. I think you do need first of all a diagnosis for Mom as to whether or not she is competent, because if she is you have no say in her ruining her own life. Sadly. Thanks for trying to protect your Mom. I wish you the best and hope you will update us if you find anything that works.
You can too. You can stop doing stuff for her and report to APS that she is a vulnerable adult being financially abused.
You’ll need to be careful putting your name on her bank acct and blending monies may make Medicaid approval difficult especially since you do not have POA.
Good luck!
It doesn't mean that YOU must care for her.
Get her into a facility and get your brother barred from the facility as someone who is financially abusing a vulnerable adult.
At the very least, you should call Adult Protective Services and report him.
Have you consulted an eldercare attorney?