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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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I agree that you should consider this person may have a UTI or is constipated. Maybe take them to Urgent Care to get this checked out. UTIs are extremely common in elders, especially women, and often don't have any symptoms other than behavioral or cognitive ones. Best to discount this, since an untreated UTI can become septic and therefore deadly.
Or there need is something else altogether. My mom's phrase used to be asking me to "turn her over", sometimes she really did want to be repositioned but usually those were just meaningless words that had me playing 20 questions trying to figure out why she was agitated.
With dementia, OCD is common. My mother was fixated with the toilet herself. Call the doctor to discuss the matter and request mild calming meds to help relax the loved one and perhaps distract them from the constant loop thinking.
Yes, the toileting becomes very problematic. Part of this is mental with toilet training being something that "sticks with us" in early stages of dementia, and there is fear of loss of control. But there are also physical problems of bladders holding less before they begin to trigger the need to void, and with incomplete empty.
This urge can also happen in urinary tract infections. Keep dip sticks for urine testing, available on Amazon, and check urine frequently for any sign of nitrites or leukocytes, and take specimen in for Culture and Sensitivity testing to rule out signs of infection. See MD for this complain and get input, also.
Confer with PCP. Get some level of in home caregiving services on board; not only will this help you greatly,they can provide additional education, input on coping with such issues. Have PCP refer a Geriatric Case Manager to the case. They can assist with options also from multiple perspectives.
Learn to let it go. Say "ok and move on to something else." Often the repetitive requests or 'communications / conversations' require a person to leave or stop engaging or responding. Hold their hand, give them a hand massage or neck massage. Bring a magazine. Divert their attention.
You cannot 'listen' to this 24/7. You must take breaks. Find out if any meditation could help.
A toileting schedule. Every two hours or every hour, depending on need. Take them to the toilet maybe a half hour after a meal or snack. Or if you've given medication.
You have to ignore the constant, 'I have to go to the bathroom'. No one can play the toilet game all day and night long. Enough is enough. Make sure there's no UTI's going on. Also check the person out to make sure there's no redness, rashes, fungal infections, and skin breakdown on their backsides and genitalia. This will also make a person with dementia keep asking for the bathroom.
Always make sure they're clean. Clean as in no crap left behind in the behind. This can cause itching and irritation. Asking the doctor for some anti-anxiety medication won't hurt either.
If this person is male, get a medical appointment to check for prostate enlargement. Medications can help with the "urge" from benign prostatic hypertrophy. Increased "urge" can also be a sign of infection or cancer.
If this person is female, get a medical appointment to check for urinary tract infection.
Clarkkentslady: An individual who unfortunately suffers from dementia may often be fixated on toileting issues. However, the person should see their physician to rule out any maladies.
Incontinence wear and repeated assurances that all is well, no leakage. It's not unusual for elderly women to have urinary conditions that cause urgency and this may be the case. Soaps, wipes, etc may be worsening the condition, try water cleansing if able.
It's very difficult with cognitive impairment but she may eventually settle down with Depends on and focus her anxiety on something else.
Your loved one may have trouble emptying their bladder. When on the toilet and they feel they have finished, have them lean forward to grab their own ankles. If there is urine still in the bladder, this compression should force it out. It takes a couples seconds after bending for it to come out. With my mum, when she thinks she’s done, I remind her to grab her ankles. One, two, three … gush! It is surprising how much urine then comes out. We were able to get off the foli —which was placed in rehab bc she was not emptying and getting utis—with this method. This may not be the problem, but it is easy enough to try it to see if it helps. Wishing you peace in this journey.
Obsession over toileting is actually common. when my mom was still able to live alone, she spent half of her day on the toilet. She didn't really need to go, it was just something she did. She flushed all kinds of things down the toilet. I had to take the cardboard cores out of the rolls, hide paper towels and other things, it was a nightmare. You can imagine how often she overflowed the toilet.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
UTI? Or constipation?
Part of this is mental with toilet training being something that "sticks with us" in early stages of dementia, and there is fear of loss of control.
But there are also physical problems of bladders holding less before they begin to trigger the need to void, and with incomplete empty.
This urge can also happen in urinary tract infections. Keep dip sticks for urine testing, available on Amazon, and check urine frequently for any sign of nitrites or leukocytes, and take specimen in for Culture and Sensitivity testing to rule out signs of infection. See MD for this complain and get input, also.
Say "ok and move on to something else."
Often the repetitive requests or 'communications / conversations' require a person to leave or stop engaging or responding. Hold their hand, give them a hand massage or neck massage. Bring a magazine. Divert their attention.
You cannot 'listen' to this 24/7.
You must take breaks.
Find out if any meditation could help.
Gena / Touch Matters
You have to ignore the constant, 'I have to go to the bathroom'.
No one can play the toilet game all day and night long. Enough is enough. Make sure there's no UTI's going on. Also check the person out to make sure there's no redness, rashes, fungal infections, and skin breakdown on their backsides and genitalia. This will also make a person with dementia keep asking for the bathroom.
Always make sure they're clean. Clean as in no crap left behind in the behind. This can cause itching and irritation.
Asking the doctor for some anti-anxiety medication won't hurt either.
If this person is female, get a medical appointment to check for urinary tract infection.
During my mother’s last years, she would go to the bathroom and turn around and have to go again. She had no control over her bladder.
Trying to make a bathroom schedule work was impossible. It only caused stress for her and for me.
Mom and I both decided that wearing depends all the time was the best solution.
It's very difficult with cognitive impairment but she may eventually settle down with Depends on and focus her anxiety on something else.
This may not be the problem, but it is easy enough to try it to see if it helps.
Wishing you peace in this journey.