Are you sure you want to exit? Your progress will be lost.
Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
kdalla, we need more information. I see from your profile that your Dad lives with you. When did he move in? What are your Dad health issues? Are you the only caregiver? Could he be self-pay if he moved to a continuing care facility, or would he need to sign up for Medicaid [which is different from Medicare].
Regard his health. Has he been recently seen by his physician to check for an urinary tract infection [UTI] as that in itself can make an elder act very abusive.
my grandfather is the owner of the house we live in, and we rent out the basement suite. my mom has been his sole caretaker her entire life (i am her daughter), and has always lived with him. he doesn't have any major health concerns at this time, and has gone for checkups with the doctor. he could likely self pay if needed to move into an alternative living situation. he is extremely verbally and physically abusive to everyone in the house, and has been for several years. we are from Canada so medicaid/medicare does not apply. how can his mental capacity be assessed? if he knows he is going to the doctor for this reason, he will likely not go. this situation is very damaging and traumatic for everyone. looking for any type of help. thank you
Why don't you all move to other quarters? If you can pay rent, you can move.
If he is a danger to himself or others, you can, at least in the States, call 911 and have him taken to the ER and possibly get an involuntary psychiatric hold and evaluation.
But I'm not sure why your mother feels the need to stay and be abused. And she's paying rent? Is she being paid for caregiving?
If he doesn't have any health issues and isn't cognitively impaired, you won't be able to force him into a facility against his will. You might try to encourage him to move, but if he abusive, that probably won't work. You could also move yourself if you can afford to do that. That may be the best situation for all involved. If he gets physical with any of you, call the police and let them handle it. Chances are they will just let him go again, so nothing would be accomplished. However, they may be able to take him in for evaluation if domestic issues are a problem for him.
Good luck with dealing with it. My first impulse would be to move myself out of harm's way.
Your grandfather has been like this his whole life? And your mom has lived with him, like this, her whole life? They both won't change. He's competent. (When my dad was hospitalized and thought he was staying in a hotel, his doctor told me and my brother that our dad is competent - because despite the delusion of where he's staying, he was able to converse with the doctor on different topics - up to date topics.) Don't think it will be easy to declare your grandfather as incompetent. Your mom and her father have been living like this for decades. I cannot see either of them changing the current status. Sorry, but the ball is in your court. To stay and be there supporting your mom (note not your grandfather) or you move on with your life and still be supporting your mom until she finally gives in that he's just too much for her....
Kdalla, may I know what your mom says about the situation? I'm just curious. Does she feel burdened? Angry? Obligated?
Have you spoken with his doctor and requested medication to help with his issues....that may help. Contact your local coroner's office and asked about getting a order of protective custody for him and they can have a mental evaluation done on him....if you explain the situation and provide enough documentation...record it...logged and bring it..
Some facilities may not admit a person if they are abusive to the other patients.....if they are abusive and the abuse continues they may discharge him from the facility...
Get out and get away from him...maybe he is trying to drive you out and he is being abusive to get you to move out........Good luck.
Make plans to get yourself out as soon as possible - you deserve a life. If your mom feels she cannot plan to get out with you, then do it alone. She will need you later when she cannot take it anymore. Sounds like another nasty entitled old coot who thinks women are slaves. How great when you can say "I'm out of here - have a nice life or whatever." Feels wonderful.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Regard his health. Has he been recently seen by his physician to check for an urinary tract infection [UTI] as that in itself can make an elder act very abusive.
If he is a danger to himself or others, you can, at least in the States, call 911 and have him taken to the ER and possibly get an involuntary psychiatric hold and evaluation.
But I'm not sure why your mother feels the need to stay and be abused. And she's paying rent? Is she being paid for caregiving?
Good luck with dealing with it. My first impulse would be to move myself out of harm's way.
Kdalla, may I know what your mom says about the situation? I'm just curious. Does she feel burdened? Angry? Obligated?
Some facilities may not admit a person if they are abusive to the other patients.....if they are abusive and the abuse continues they may discharge him from the facility...
Get out and get away from him...maybe he is trying to drive you out and he is being abusive to get you to move out........Good luck.