Mother went to ER, Doctor said she could go home, so I left. Brother and SIL must have talked mom into staying in rehab. Since then I've learned the DNR has changed listing older bro. He is the only one who bothers to call ME when mom went to ER the next time. I was shocked to find this out second hand But he has no information ..No one is telling anyone what is happening. SIL has never called me while at ER. Brother with POA might inform me hours later by text. How do I get any information? I'm losing sleep worrying and no answers. Doesn't everyone in the family HAVE a right to know what is happening each time she goes to ER? Isn't that part of the POA medical directives job to alert all family members?
Unless she tells you otherwise, imo.
She is your family member, maybe they may even tell you something about her if you are there.
Sorry you are distressed, anyone would be. It is harder if you do not know your rights or your mother's wishes. But you can find out.
Love and compassion is not a job, it is a gift. You have it.
give her info over the phone.
DNR has nothing to do with "listing" someone. Its a form were Mom list what she does not want done to keep her alive. Like resuscitation, not wanting a feeding tube. Its signed by a doctor. You may mean the HIPPA form. But, no one can be added or taken off unless Mom does it. If Mom is not competent then the POA can do it.
Problem with POAs is they get misinterpreted. Some POAs think they have full control but I don't see that as true. They are suppose to carry out what the LO wanted or they feel may have wanted. It ended up being a power thing. As POA, I kept my brothers in the loop. I am sure my Mom would have wanted that. Its a tool. Makes life easier. I was the POA because I was the closest child and the caregiver.
I think you should all get together and talk this out. If the POA won’t agree to notify everyone, again when mom wants them to know something, then maybe you can all agree on one person to be the family spokesperson and ask the POA to relay information to that person who can then pass it on to the rest of the family.
FWIW my BIL is POA for my FIL and he just sends a group text when he thinks his siblings should be informed of something. You could ask your brother the POA to do the same thing.
POA power of attorney
MD medical directive ?
or just a link to the code words ?