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Sibling has been diagnosed MCI, but he has gotten worse, but he is still cognitive of events surrounding him. He is only 62 so this is early onset (about 4-5 years now). I have to leave the state for my job. (I have delayed it twice now, can't do it again). He refuses to hire outside help to do anything and says he is ok and can still do everything, but he can't. I do not have POA and since I will not be here to see how he is doing, I think it is a liability to me and my family to have it and there is no one else available to do it. I have thought perhaps I should just contact adult services and tell them he is at risk? He is narcissistic and super negative, always has been. Has anyone else done that? Can you tell me what were your experiences were? Did they actually do anything? Are there other options? How do you walk away?

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Having POA doesn’t confer personal liability. Your brother needs someone to look after his best interests, it doesn’t have to be you, or it can be in a limited role. There are posters here that provide caregiving from a distance, both physically and emotionally. If you don’t want any role call Adult Protective Services and report him as an at risk adult, telling them his diagnosis and care needs
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As someone who was Trustee of Trust and POA for a living brother, both of us in our 70s/80s, I can tell you I could not have done this without a great sense of order and agreement between the two of you. It was anxiety provoking enough at best and hard work, and once you get down to dividing the mail alone it is onerous. I had all bills coming to me, but he otherwise got his mail. He asked I manage all monies except a small spending account for him as he was diagnosed with early Lewy's Dementia. He was quite well, and died before this dread disease could get a good hold on him. I could not have done it in your circumstances.
I would just want you to know that once you let the state and APS know that you cannot/will not step in as POA for health or financial, that they will appoint a fiduciary and you will thereafter have no say; the state will be his guardian. And in fact that is what I would suggest. I am sorry, but you are going to be far away and he is not cooperative. Not everything has a fix, and this certainly doesn't If he were cooperative you could HIRE a fiduciary yourself and together make decisions as his POA. But without his cooperation, it's a non starter in my opinion. I feel for you and wish you and him the best.
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Littlesistercg Jun 2021
Thank you! Bless you for being there for your brother!
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Is he by any chance a Veteran?  If so, contact the closest VA office (county, state level or the VA itself) to find out how to get him enrolled in VA care.   Their efforts to extend caregiving services have (according to the newsletters I get) been greatly extended over the years.
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Littlesistercg Jun 2021
No, he isn't a vet. Thank you though.
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POA is a tool. You cannot be held liable for a person that won't cooperate. Until he is found incapable of handling his affairs, he can make his own decisions.

If u don't want the responsibility of being his POA thats OK. I would call APS and put him on their radar. The State may eventually take over his care and appoint a guardian.
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