Follow
Share

I'm at a loss on what to do. My "sick" mother's sister is making my mom paranoid by filling her head with lies. Constantly telling her that I, her own daughter, is no good. She tells my mom to hide her money and car from me. She tells her I'm drug addict and turns everything around to a negative. This sister of hers is jealous of our relationship as she is estranged from both her children. It's becoming a major concern. I need help on how to deal with this.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
The sister probably has dementia herself.........which is exactly what it sounds like. I don't know that you have ANY real recourse here, frankly. If your mother wants to talk to her sister, what's to stop her? You can change your phone number and not let your Aunt know the new one, but that may upset your mother. Twisted relationships between people can't usually be fixed and if you try to do that, YOU wind up to be The Bad Guy.

If you wind up moving mother to an ALF Memory Care, what's to stop her sister from calling her THERE? Having POA isn't going to gain you any headway on this particular subject either, I'm afraid. Nor will the police........what can they do, exactly? If you have lots of threatening texts, why that could be useful. But if all you have are texts saying that you are a drug addict, or trying to poison your mother, that's not grounds for any criminal action against your Aunt. In fact, that may get YOU investigated instead.

It's going to be up to your mother to say No More with her sister. She will have to reach the point where SHE doesn't want to hear from her anymore before she stops taking her calls or agrees to block her number. I really think that's the truth here, like it or not.

Wishing you the best of luck!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

How do you feel about blocking her number? Would she cause more problems by calling the police or something rash?

What about telling her a white lie, like your mom’s phone is broken and she can call you if she needs to check on your mom. That should stop her from calling!
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

If your mother has only mild dementia, this would be a great time to arrange to get power of attorney (POA) for her and begin to handle her finances for her. Otherwise, her sister may take over and you sound unsure whether this sister has your mother's best interests at heart. You will need an elder attorney to get the official POA form signed for your state. Try to see and speak with your mother regularly, act reassuringly about her possessions and show that you are not interested in taking her things. Does the sister have mental illness? These situations are difficult and there may be a limit to what you can do if your mom does not choose to give you POA and prefers to get care and help from her sister, unless the sister is really abusive or taking advantage of her in some way. Another solution might be to convince/tell Mom she should move to a care facility like ALF where they also have Memory Care which she may need in the future - some are available for low income and some are only private pay. Then sister will be less involved and your mom will get care from others.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Chelle71 Jan 2020
Thanks, Katy. I can't help but think that her sister may have some kind of mental illness. Every time she calls her, almost everyday, I over hear her filling my moms head with lies and trying to make her paranoid. The latest is that I'm trying to poison her(NOT OKAY). I have discussed with my mom that I should be POA and she has agreed. This is something I'm currently working on. I can't bare the thought of putting her in a care facility, however. I love her so much and I'm worried that this toxic sister will be the end of her. I was wondering if authorities could get involved? There are text messages from her that I have saved, in case I need proof. Her sister is hateful and jealous. She needs to be gone. Thank you so much for your ideas. Do you have any other suggestions in regards to the sister? Oh, and I have talked to my mom in regards to her but she says she loves us both and has agreed to not entertain her lies but she still listens to her go on and on.
(0)
Report
Does your mother have dementia? Is she in the care of her sister? Does her sister have a POA to act for your mother?
Helpful Answer (0)
Report
Chelle71 Jan 2020
Hi. Yes l, I believe my mother has dementia. She displays all the symptoms but I need to gently convince her to go in for evaluation. She is not in her sisters care nor is she her POA. I'm currently working on becoming her POA. This sister of hers is hateful and jealous of our relationship. She's harming my moms fragile mind by making her paranoid and putting CRAZY ideas in her head. There must be some way to stop her. Is there a law against this? There must be. Thank you for your reply.
(0)
Report
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter