How many of you are still being denied visitation at your loved one's LTC?

I am in Pittsburgh PA and i had to put my wife in a nurse home she went in 3 days before the Governor locked the state down the state is now at 50% the home my wife is in is still on total lockdown i have not been in contact with her since just before the lockdown the interesting thing is there has not been a single case EVER at this home i get to call her because i did give her a phone just a day before the lockdown. she tells me how BAD it is there with meds being given wrong no one answers the call button for at the least 2 hours well any way i could go on but it is just terrible not being to see my wife we have been married for 40 years and all I can do is pray

CMS just recently ruled that nursing homes must allow visitation under certain conditions.  I wrote a letter to the administrator of my brother's facility asking how he was going to implement these new procedures. I have yet to receive an answer. My next step is to contact the local ombudsman. I think they are just continuing no visitation because it's so much easier for them.

I am so sorry you still have not seen your mom yet!!

I am also in NC and my mother was moved from Assisted Living to Memory Care last month as she declined further cognitively during the isolation from COVID. She was in AL for 3 years. I was granted a "change in status" visit last month and it was the first time I had seen her since early March. I had to clean out her things that wouldn't fit in her new room, and while I had access to the "inside" I took the opportunity to speak with other residents that hadn't seen their relatives - they were so happy to see a face other than a staff member! I was so happy to see them all, but so sad that so many have declined so during the quarantine.

Thankfully the facility recently opened outdoor visits, and this past weekend allowed indoor visits. They allow 1 visit per week for 30 minutes. While we visited Saturday, we called a friend of hers at another NC facility and were told those residents were still being isolated in their rooms and her friend couldn't even use the phone, which broke my heart!!

It seems they could still allow for some outdoor visits while they wait for the tests to clear! My mom's facility built booths with Plexiglass and microphones so residents could talk while being protected. It felt a big like visiting someone in jail, but I was just thankful to be there.

Sorry I don't have more answers, but know how you feel and hope you get to see her soon!

We need to show proof of a new negative covid test every 2 weeks for (limited) indoor visits or remain 6 feet apart for outdoor visits, masks are mandatory in both cases.

I am in Arkansas. Haven’t seen my mom in months. They are not even allowing window visits at this point. Testing patients and staff every 4-5 days. Only had one testing period with no positives. I used to be a med tech, worked in a lab for 15 years. I think the tests are getting cross reactivity with another protein and they are getting more false positives than they will admit. To my knowledge the nursing home is getting all asymptomatic positives. And these patients are most at risk? I truly question them not getting confirmation testing. My mom thinks I deserted her even though I call frequently. She doesn’t understand, most of these patients don’t understand. When does the emotional and mental health of the elderly become important? I will gladly get tested and stay 6 foot away, but that’s not an option here.
My mom went to this nursing home just as all this started, I have never even seen the inside of this facility to know if it’s even clean...

i am just another one of so many people that I have just read about and it seems there are no answers for our loved ones Who are in nursing homes and other age related facilities. My husband has been in rehab NH and waiting for a bed in long term at the same facility. For the last two weeks I have been able to visit once a week for 20 minutes in a separate room.
This is all so very sad and heartbreaking and I am finding that some of the visits leave me feeling that there must have been a better choice and yet I know there wasn’t. He is 80 and I am 78 with failing health..I just could not take care of him anymore. When I visit he cries and wants to come home and I know there are so many other people facing this every day.I pray that he will remember less every day and just know he is not in pain and being taken care of (I hope) by nurses and I hope God will forgive me for the choice I had to make. We are not alone my friends and am grateful we can express our feelings and listen to each other.

PeeWee57: Prayers sent to you.

First, you don't know that they are false positives since you don't know what test was used. So don't assume anything. The false positive rate has NOTHING to do with asymptomatic Covid. Some people simply never have symptoms, but are capable of infecting others; particularly the elderly.

Second, A positive test by a healthcare worker in most states (don't know about your state) are required to have a second, more sensitive test to "rule out" a false positive. During that period when they are doing this testing, that worker is not allowed to work OR in some cases depending on state, they must work wearing full PPE. This means the facility is now shorthanded with less staff available to monitor visitation to make sure their protocols are observed.

These facilities are MANDATED to have a Duty of Care. Meaning they MUST do their best to keep residents safe where at all possible. I can sympathize with not being able to visit loved ones, but they are not just responsible for your loved one, but every other resident as well. There are ways to maintain contact. Many facilities rotate through their residents with zoom calls where you can visit via your computer. Check with the facility to see if this is available. If not, ask why not.

As a related matter, I have not seen my daughter, son-in-law, and grandson since Christmas. I will likely not see them until there is a vaccine as they live 1500 miles away and I likely cannot SAFELY travel to them, nor they to me. So we stay home. Is it hard? Of course.

I've heard that if you so choose, you may wish to take your family member home for the duration. A friend of mine tried that, but found it upset her mother to be away from the place she had learned to call "home". She was able to take her back and has not seen her since, but calls her daily.

There is no easy answer to this. But please don't assume that anyone is randomly keeping you from your loved one for no reason. Again, asymptomatic does NOT mean a person can't SPREAD the virus. Researchers have found that they DO spread it.

My mother lives in an ALF in NC. About two months ago, they started outdoor visitations. Last week, they started indoor visitations, limited to common living room area and private dining area. So far, I haven't had any challenges scheduling visits. Before starting the indoor visitations, we were allowed to speak to our LOs through the window or face time. At some point in July, we could briefly speak with them outside so long as we remained eight feet away. The loved ones of residents who are on hospice are allowed to enter the facility, but they are only able to go to their loved one's room. Since March, I haven't hugged my mother. Unfortunately, the ALF did experience two Covid-19 events. For the first Covid-19 event, in April, one of the residents did pass away from the virus and two other residents contracted the virus. During the second Covid-19 event, in August, a worker tested positive for Covid-19. My mother was in direct contact with the worker, which meant my mother had to isolate for five days in her room until she got her test results back. Out of all of the challenges, my mother's isolation was the most cognitively and emotional taxing for everyone involved. She attempted to escape her room multiples times, began smoking in her room, and was literally bouncing off the walls. Thankfully, her Covid-19 result came back negative. While we have been fortunate in that we have been able to have outdoor visitations (and now indoor visitations), the family members of other residents repeatedly violate the rules. During my last visitation, a family member became tired of waiting for a worker to come to door to take her care package. She then decided to enter the facility (at first not wearing a mask). She stayed inside the facility for approximately 10 to 15 minutes. She left the facility wearing a mask. For me and my partner, this was extremely disconcerting. We've been taking every precaution since the beginning of the pandemic. During the pandemic, we have had to quarantine because of possible exposure to the virus. So far, I have been tested three times for Covid-19. My partner has been tested two times for Covid-19 and has taken the Covid-19 antigen test. I cannot stand the thought of potentially bringing the virus to my mother or other residents. As such, I feel extremely conflicted about the current situation, but I think many people feel conflicted. For me, I try to do what I can do, which is talking to her on the phone, buy her things, visit as much as I can, and bring her lunch/dinner. While these things may not make up for hugs, going out, etc., something is better than nothing.

I'm told NO COVID in LO's facility, either among residents or staff, and that they have been COVID FREE since the lockdown began in March. But still no visits allowed outside in courtyard nor inside. Window visits don't work because LO is functionally blind & severely hard of hearing. I am frustrated. Seven months & counting! (We are in Dallas County here in TX.) No communication from staff to families regarding possible future protocols despite repeated assurances information will be forthcoming and that "they are working on it." I would hear nothing if I didn't initiate communication with them regarding re-opening every few weeks. It's hard not to wonder if they are stalling until all of this is over.

Thank you all for your contributions to this thread.

Update: My October 17 visit was moved to Oct. 31. The weather is getting colder, so I'm not sure how this will work out with outdoor visits - the high that day is supposed to be 63° and cloudy, with morning rain. My visit is scheduled for the afternoon...

In the meantime, Mama's not getting any better, physically, mentally or emotionally. I brought her some supper today - her favorite homemade vegetable beef soup, hot bread and coffee - but it was a disaster. She actually screamed (yes, screamed) at the aide who attempted to raise her bed and assist her with eating. I witnessed the entire episode from outside the window, and it was a horrible experience for me. The aide later came outside and, God bless her, gave me a big hug, telling me that everything was okay, and she was used to that sort of thing, but I left the facility terribly shaken. I've never seen my mother do anything like that.

217 days have passed since I was able to hug my sister-just prior to her move into new community-we drove her to new community. I was lucky enough to have a few "outside" visits with sis behind a rattly plastic shield, with lawn mower noise, car noise and her soft voice. 4 new cases of staff covid and increasing countywide numbers have put her community into total lockdown. Our dad in the hospital during August. I missed a couple opportunities to visit as I had to take mom to see dad in the hospital.

Sis needed a in office dermatology appointment for a mystery rash staff could not diagnose. Tried a lot of lotions and potions. no consistent answer from anyone about what is really going on being done to help. I Was told rash comes and goes. Took the DON until June to say yes the rash is bad she needs to see a dr. NO visiting dermatology at the community. Only wound nurse who doesn't have a clue what is going on with sis skin. Sis cried a lot during the last 4 months until they tried Scabies treatment. Was told it was helping then it wasn't helping. Thank goodness i did not cancel the appointment that took 2 months of waiting. Dr. says since scabies treatment working it had to be scabies after all. I am pissed that sis had to suffer this long with itchy painful skin.

Sis has lost 20 pounds. 10 of it in the last month. They are giving protein supplements 4 times a day and this is not enough to slow the weight loss.

4 new cases of staff covid=lockdown. sis went "out" to dermatology=self isolation for 2 weeks. they moved sis to a new room new faces. I ask staff about covid cases-i was told NO. but then get the update robo call and told YES new staff case-still in lockdown.

visiting psych wants to add more drugs due to sis mood changes. I was told a verbal questionnaire was used. Sis could not possibly say what she had for lunch-did she eat breakfast let alone how are you feeling today.

I tell DON i wanted to reduce her meds once skin is cleared up-this is part of why she has been utterly miserable for months and months. sis on 4 anti psychotic drugs. She did cry and howl for hours early on and was told that if it did not stop soon they would send her to psych inpatient-to a place i knew was horrible.

Sis new room has outside street view-i can see her this way now. this weekend. I planned to go see sis but staff did not answer the phone for 2 hours. I do not know the normal schedule i needed to know when would be a good time. Apparently they told sis i was coming at noon. I did not get ahold of any staff until after 2 pm when they decided to answer the phone. I am so sad to see my sister in this place of separation and being alone more decline. She now has a bed sore from sitting all the time. No PT no activities. I desperately want to hold and hug her and not let go. She needs 24 hour care. I thought about bringing sis to my house right at the beginning of covid I am beginning to wish i had.

They tell me i can stand at the window any time as many times as i want-she can not get to the phone by herself. How am i supposed to do this people.

My mother's ALF was in Phase 3, ie I could go to her room and visit if we wore masks and socially distanced. But then they had an outbreak of COVID and are back to Phase 0. The other problem is that I have been trying to get a working telephone into her room. I might have success today, but it's been several weeks since any family members could successfully talk with mom. My kids did a window visit and communicated t her by phone, but she has macular degeneration so badly that she could barely make out their shadows at the window.

How extremely lonely she must be! How would anyone survive being quarantined in one room (bedroom and bathroom) for any amount of time?
I'm sure she sleeps a lot, hoping that when she wakes up, this nightmare will be over!!

I live in Florida, and we have limited visitation.

NEW CMS Guidance - 3/10/21 - if resident fully vaccinated, they can choose close contact (incl. touch) w/ visitor in proper face mask, washing hands before & after.

Baby steps to better.

Still need to acknowledge #EssentialCaregivers role in PHEs.

Full CMS QSO here - https://go.cms.gov/3vnt7Bo