My mother has bathed about twice in the past two weeks and never washed her hair in that time. I just got out and asked her if she would like to take a bath and wash her hair. It turned into a screaming tantrum. She refused to wash her hair and said she would take a bath later, which means she is NOT taking a bath. She goes out into the yard and works around enough that she does need a bath just to at least feel better if not clean but it is like pulling teeth to get her to do it. There is always an excuse of, I'm tired, I'll do it later, I took one yesterday. Washing her hair she says, no I do not wash it in the shower, I wash my hair in the kitchen sink, so I tell her okay lets go and i will help you. That does not work she begins yelling. In reality she DOES wash it in the shower NOT in the kitchen sink. About 40 years ago she washed it in the kitchen sink but never since way back then.
This is an ongoing problem that I have tried to handle every way I can and nothing works. Today I finally told her that if she continued to refuse to bathe and wash her hair, of her own free will, then I will have to hire a home care nurse to come and help her. World War III broke out and i was called every name in the book, and told that "if you even try it, you will find your a--- sitting out in the street looking for a new place to live!"
I do not push her to bathe on a daily basis or even every other day because of her tantrums. I can't take it and neither can my daughter. I don't know that bathing every day is a necessity but honestly can you all give me your opinions on how often she should reasonably be expected to bathe. Prior to the dementia she bathed every single day, not any more.
I am her 24/7 caregiver, daughter and DPOA. I live in her home with my daughter and care for her without any compensation and I actually pay for household expenses.